I'm getting disfellowshipped

by raven 28 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Vanderhoven7

    Sorry to hear about your situation. Your mom turned you in thinking that this may save you from destruction at Armageddon. How the elders treat you as a result may help to wake her up to the lovelessness that permeates through the organization. That would at least be my wish and prayer.

  • Incognito

    I know that JW elders think they are exempt from adhering to people's rights, you are an adult subject to an expectation to privacy.

    I suspect your mother made-up the story but if the elder's did divulge that information without an official announcement, they need to be taken to task legally over discussing private and disparaging information with others which includes your mother. They have no cause other than hearsay as they haven't spoken to you on the matter.

    In court, they claim clergy privilege over not providing private information to the court even when they discuss private details to other elders, the CO and WT.

    The change from announcing to the congregation the specific reason for disfellowshipping, to announcing 'conduct unbecoming a christian' and then changing to 'so-and-so is no longer considered a JW', is not without reason.

    Don't be down but become angry and have your say through a lawyer over how your privacy and good name are being trampled-on and disregarded.

    Perhaps if you mention to your mother that you plan to take legal action against the elders, she will fess-up that she made-up the story.

  • Daniel1555

    Hi Raven

    I was df'd last year.

    I have the same loving relationship to my parents as before. They will never shun me and I eat with them every week. I just don't discuss much about religious topics with them.

    Although I did many things not to get df'd, getting disfellowshipped was good for my life.

    Now I am completely free, free to live a good and morally fine life.

    I lost all my JW friends, but I am slowly making new friends who won't just throw me away.

    I feel for you and wish you all the best. Focus on the good things in your life. Be especially loving and respectful to your mum, so she also should accept and respect your life decisions.

    If she intends to shun you, you could ask her if she would shun her grandchild if you would get pregnant.

  • GrreatTeacher

    My pretty hardcore parents speak to me and my disfellowshipped siblings.

    I am pretty shocked. However, even if they shunned me, it wouldn't make me go back.

    I am pretty resistant to emotional blackmail now that I understand what it is.

  • KateWild

    Hey Raven, this all happened very quickly indeed. I am so sorry you might lose your mum.

    I got df'd and my daughter thought it was unjust....so carried on her relationship with me even though she lived in a different city.

    Eventually we both woke up because of the shunning rules.

    All the best

    Kate xx

  • zeb

    Awake! 8 jan 1947 (unless this has flip-flopped the other way)

    "Shunning is pagan (and) all together foreign to Bible teachings."

  • Vidiot

    "You can't quit! We're firing you!!!"

  • Rattigan350

    Disaster? You are living with your boyfriend. You should cheer and be happy about that.

  • flipper

    Lots of great comments here by very caring people. I feel for your situation Raven. I was DFed for 4 years in the late 1990's and have been inactive and out since 2003- quit attending. I'm still treated by some of my fanatic JW family like I'm DFed- although my older mom has never shunned me. Grreat Teacher's comments about " emotional blackmail " I relate to very well- my older siblings and older elder dad have used that on me for years. It doesn't work. I won't be coerced into a fake relationship just to please them.

    If your mom cannot accept you for who you are- it may be time to re-analyze the relationship. Real love doesn't put demands or judgments on people and use religious beliefs as a whipping post. Something I've learned in dealing with some of my still in JW family over the years. We are here as a support to you and offer our friendship to you. As some have said on this thread- you will gain better friendships who are more accepting to you as time goes on. Hang in there

Share this