Dubby:
Now that I look at the article more closely, it is slightly different from the first one. I could not find it but I’ll give it a try here nonetheless.
When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
pleasing odor for the Lord (Leviticus 1:9). The problem is my neighbors.
They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. How should I deal with this?
*** This should not be a problem unless you’re a priest inasmuch as they are the only ones authorized to do any bull burning. You neighbors are all Israelites, anyway so they should not complain. If they do, refer them to the High Priest.
I've heard that it is okay to sell one's daughter into slavery, as
suggested in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a
fair price for a daughter?
What does she look like?
I know that I am not allowed any contact with a woman while she is in her
period of menstrual uncleanness (Leviticus 15:19-33). The problem is, how do
I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
It’s the law, let them take offense…by all means
ask! Leviticus 25:44 states that I may buy slaves from the nations that are
around us. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans but not
Canadians. Can you clarify?
Man, are you dense or what? Any five year old Jew knows that there are only two people on this earth: Jews and Gentiles. What part of ‘Gentiles’ don’t you understand?
A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination (Leviticus 11:10-12), it is a lesser abomination than
homosexuality. Can you settle this matter?
I am quite concerned about you. First you want to fool around with women on their period and now you’re asking about seafood and homosexuals? What kind of pervert are you? I’m not sure I want to know what the connection here is…
A local man believes that we should not have any kind of relations with
people not of "his type". Numbers 25:6-8 clearly states that people in mixed
marriages should be put to death. Will you rule to change our laws so that
this can be done?
“A local man”? What does that mean? Anyway, you read the account. If you should become eyewitness to such an abomination you are to call Phinehas and he’ll take it from there. P.S. Don’t stand too close, he’s quite old by now and frankly he was never too good with a spear. He was aiming at their hearts when he hit their…. Well, you know!
Frankly, I am shocked at how local youngsters are ruining their bodies
with tattoos. Leviticus 19:28 is very clear that there should be no tattoos.
Will you take legal action on this?
Tatoos! Man, that’s the least of it. Have you at their tongues and nipples? Anyway, there’s a loophole in the law. It states: “and YOU must not put tattoo marking upon yourselves. I am Jehovah.” As long as the tatoo does not say “I am Jehovah” there’s not much that can be done about it….
If the children rebel will you allow us to stone them as stated in Deuteronomy 21:18-21?
Man, where have you been?! The kids are all stoned already!
Will you change our rape laws to force a rapist to marry his victim as
required by Deuteronomy 22:28-29?
Okay, look closely at the first few words there: ““In case a man finds a girl, a virgin who has not been engaged,” Where will you find a virgin today? Huh? Think of the odds of your doing this in your lifetime! Next, it has to be a virgin that has not been engaged. (The odds have just tripled) The act has to be performed lying down. Now the odds have escalated even more! Next, she has to squeal on him…. ( few more points here) and then he’s got to cough up fifty shekels (silver, no less!) to her old man
then he marries her. Now, seriously, doesn’t this pretty much elevate this to the purely hypothetical? It’s sheer fantasy! Don’t worry about it, sleep tight, there a greater possibility of your marriage license expiring!
Leviticus 20:10 and Deuteronomy 22:23-24 are very specific about the need
to stone adulterers. Jesus expanded the definition of adultery to include
divorce (Luke 16:18) and lust (Matthew 5:27-28). When the story broke in
1998 about Helen Chenoweth-Hage's six-year affair I sent a stone to your
pastor urging him to implement God's law. So far he has refused. Would you
explain to him as you did to the Idaho Christian Coalition that God's laws
take precedence and are the foundation of our moral law? Dennis Mansfield
was quoted as saying that he had once watched pornography. Has he committed
adultery?
You are not following procedure. Don’t you read? Where does it say to send the stone to a Judge’s pastor? And what good will one stone do? You should have taken the initiative yourself, gathered a few of your friends and hauled that gal off outside the city and stoned here there! (I’m assuming that you have already taken her to the elders at the gate and that the whole incident has been verified to their satisfaction). As for old Dennis, well he’s a politician and as such is a man of the nations. We don’t deal with them here. BUT if he were to come under our jurisdiction you would first be obligated to prove that while watching this pornography (he’s from Idaho, what else is there to do there?) he did indeed have passion for the woman in his heart. This brings us to yet another point. What was the nature of this porn? If it was homosexual in nature and he was watching males performing then he would not be lusting after a woman and then Matt 5:27-28 would not apply. Since that is the scripture for your argument, you would not longer have a legal leg to stand on. Next…if it was a bestiality flick you would also be up the creek, so to speak. I’m afraid that your whole case here is very sloppy and ill prepared…!
You have claimed to have studied evolution in great detail and you
believe it cannot have occurred. Will you now rule that the schools should
teach the biblical view of the cosmos, namely, that the Earth is flat with
water above and below, with a hard dome overhead that can be opened to allow
rain to fall?
Tsk tsk tsk. More sloppy work. Where are your scriptures, man? At first you were spewing them out like they were going out of style. Now you state all sorts of claims with no scriptural substantiation…. Deplorable work! First of all, if the Bible says the earth is flat then I would have to believe it. I think that Chris Columbus was a dubious fellow at best and not to be relied upon too heavily. After all he started off not knowing where he was going, came back not knowing where he had been and he did it all on borrowed money! How’s that for a reliable witness? Anyway, everybody knows there’s water above and below us… I’ll let that slide. “Hard dome”? Where does it say that??? Must have missed that one…
Will you insist that schools teach that there are giants, talking donkeys, unicorns, four-legged birds and insects as the Bible claims?
Giants…I have one word for this: New York…(okay, two words) ever hear of them?
Which of the several biblical versions of creation will you rule should be taught? From your campaign statements you must have studied these things extensively so I am confident you can help.
Teach them all! Let the students sort them out later…. ‘Campaign statements’? Are you serious? You are very naive, my boy, if you are going to start using camapaign rhetoric to argue your points here! I was lying! Read my lips!
-Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it-
