How many times jehovah is said in a prayer

by Normalfulla 23 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Normalfulla

    So there was this particular elder in my hall who when giving a prayer would say "jehovah" waaaay to much it was ridiculous, we ended up having a count every time he gave prayer, most of the time it was 15-18 but once he topped 20, if u say it out loud 20 times you'll see how weird it is, like when do you ever in a conversation say someone's name that many times in 2 or so minutes,!

  • George One Time
    George One Time

    LOL - I used to count like you. Words like father or Jehovah are often used as an expletive in prayer.

  • schnell

    As an expletive, bahahaha XD

  • jwleaks

    I remember one prayer many years ago and it went a little something like this:

    "Jehovah God our great grand father in the heavens, we thank you, Jehovah, for the blessings you give to us, Jehovah, each day, Jehovah. Jehovah, we would also like to ask that you, Jehovah, help our congregation, Jehovah, to move ahead, Jehovah, with the preaching work, Jehovah, in our territory, Jehovah. Jehovah, we would also, Jehovah, like to ask, Jehovah, that you, Jehovah . . . "

    And on, jehovah, and on, jehovah, it went, jehovah, until the killer in the end:

    " . . . This we pray, Jehovah, to you, Jehovah, in the name of your son, Jehovah . . ."

    And then the brother stepped off the platform and took his seat while the congregation stood silently, with their heads bowed and their eyes closed, while waiting for an Amen that never came.

    I liked the great grand father reference. I assume it was three words and not "great-grandfather" but then again the brother did call jehovah's son jehovah.

    My all time favorite prayer was during a non-JW relatives funeral. A lot of JWs were there including family and numerous elders. My deceased relative had made their own funeral arrangements and the service was presided over by a JW elder (family member). At the end another family member, non JW, after making a short speech, asked everyone to "bow our heads in prayer to jehovah" and then it happened. A female minister from a 'pagan' church stepped to the podium while everyone, including elders and uber JWs, had their heads bowed, and offered the prayer. Payback's a bitch.

  • LevelThePlayingField

    Unlike what it really says in the Bible, how we are suppose to be thankful to Jesus, but you'll never heard a JW ever say that in prayer.

  • zeb

    I agree with you all. So often I felt we were being Jehovah-ed to death in prayer. This was especially at the end of a convention where the speaker would sum up the entire program in the final prayer; this is assuming God is stupid and needs to have the program represented to him.

    I like jwleaks story of the funeral.

  • stuckinarut2

    It's used more as punctuation by many!

    I used to also cringe at the prayers that sounded like the brother was using the prayer to review the entire meeting, and teach Jehovah something while talking to him!

  • Ding

    I think that may well be fueled by superstition -- the idea that if you don't address your prayer to Jehovah often enough, it might really go to Satan.

  • Giordano

    So....the only prayer I remember was the one when the dog was under the table with it's head in my crotch.

    I was at a friend's house to attend a lunch for the Circuit Overseer. This guy thought so highly of himself his wife had to hold the door open for him and his ego.

    We gathered round the dinning room table and we all looked to him for the prayer. I don't remember what he said no doubt the usual but it took him 3 to 5 long minutes to get it said.

    While this was going on the family dog got restless under the table, no doubt waiting on some scraps to fall his way, and took to reminding those of us with our heads bowed that he really needed a treat. His method of alerting us was to bump us in the crotch with his head or to sit in front of us and paw at us.

    As the prayer droned on each person would jump a little as the dog made it's way, under the table. And yes the dog would whine as well. You could follow its progress by a person flinching, crossing their legs, a hand droping to their laps to shove the dog away.

    As the frustrated dog increased his whining the people round the table began to giggle then began to howl with laughter at this absurd event. Made all the more hilarious because Brother Ego droned on........ it was Jehovah this and Jehovah that... Bump...... the dog continued to make its rounds and we almost fell out of our chairs laughing.........laughter is contagious.

    The idiot CO was red faced when he finished. But said nothing.

    He could have stared us in the eye and said "even with a dog's head nuzzling my groin I maintained my spirituality."

    Best prayer experience I ever had!

    Best apostate dog ever!

  • FedUpJW

    He could have stared us in the eye and said "even with a dog's head nuzzling my groin I maintained my spirituality."

    Judging by the majority of circuit overseers I have known that was probably the closest he got to getting any. . .

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