Hi Damaged and welcome! You're absolutely right to question people's "friendship" after being reinstated. It's all fake and based on announcement made off the stage. That's crazy, right? Except you have all these people taking it as law. It's not really based on repentance or if a person is doing good deeds- it's kind of the luck of the draw. So many people in the halls doing all kinds of stuff and nothing happening to them and people getting df'ed for posting something on facebook (this happened in a congregation I know of).
I always think the reason alot of people, including myself, left the organization is actually because we were too loving. My conscience just didn't allow me to continue to judge and treat people like shit arbitrarily relying on made up rules in a magazine. It just didn't make any sense to me. And now, as a parent, the whole df'ing method makes even less sense. I am so lucky that I left when I did because the treatment of my children when they make a mistake is such a far cry from how I was taught to do things. I love and accompany my kids when they are going through difficult times - even when they are suffering consequences of bad choices. I don't withhold my love or my presence- sometimes people just need to be heard and accompanied while they go through stuff-which is the exact opposite of DF'ing. It's no wonder it's so psychologically damaging.
Thanks for sharing your story and I just count my blessings I'm not involved with that crazy behavior towards people.