I was a born-in JW & am currently in the midst of fading. Waking up made me realize that I have only a few true friends in my life (no thanks to Watchtower!) My best true friend is a non-JW, like most of the others. The beauty about our relationship is that not only do we relate & get along well with each other, but we can talk to each other about ANYTHING without being judged. No subject is taboo. She accepts me for who I am, and I accept her for who she is. There are no pretences in our relationship. And the astonishing things is that I have only known her for less than a year! Compare that with the "friends" I have known for almost my whole life as a JW & yet can't be close to at all!
What is it like to have that one true friend?
Good call viv (pumpkin)
Having one true friend is awesome. Having more than one is even better. There are over 7 billion people on the planet...if your wife doesn't want to be the kind of friend you need then go out and find a friend. Being a "spiritual mate" might be what she dreams of but you can also dream of her being an "awake JW". The reality is that perhaps you should not have religious discussions and just agree to disagree on that.
If you need to "vent" about things JW, then find a friend for that. I have some friends who are good for that but not good for talking about sports. There is usually not a "one size fits all" perfect friend or perfect spouse. That is an unreality that is perpetuated by so many. I can advise a good marriage counselor as he might help you both learn to communicate more effectively and more successfully. Or a good therapist who might advise you on how to make new friendships now that you are older.
Just my 2 cents...
jw's have an odd idea of 'friends' in my opinion. My jw calls everyone he has had a conversation with a 'friend'. I would call them acquaintances instead. Naturally he thinks all jw's at the kh are real friends. I have tried to tell him they are conditional friends but ....
I have friends that I have known since I was a little girl and they love me no matter what, no matter what goofy thing I may come up with or get into. It doesn't matter what I believe they will always be there no matter what.
Luckily I am not a jw so I can voice my opinion on the jw's if he brings it up which is rare these days. Should we have the dreaded jw discussion, I hope he does tell the cong! it would educate them on their stupid cult! and a nice byproduct is that they stay far away from me!
Sorry your wife is threatening you with telling the elders on you. Does she have any clue how that would sound to a non jw? What does she think of all the news about Scientology and Leah Remni (sp?) tell all and their 'suppressive persons'? (vs jw 'apostates')
@ Closer to Fine:
Most of my family (with the exception of my siblings) are "strong in the truth" as far as I know. I sometimes wonder how my former "worldly" associates are doing. It has been about 6 years since I was made to get rid of them. (I remember that night.) There is at least one that I would like to contact.