Fognomore I see you joined us 20 days ago. So Welcome to this Forum!
I am sure you realize that everyone on this forum understands every word you have spoken as we have all been where you are now. I will share some information with you about proceeding.
First off you will need to be cautious about what you say.
You were hard wired to believe everything you were told from birth so it's not your fault that when you see the wrongs of many of those beliefs it wounds you. While the JW's are mostly good people the WTBTS as a corporation isn't.
Now the first thing you need to do, depending on your situation and your feelings, is to decide how you want to exit this religion. Some people never officially 'exit' I prefer the term disengage which sounds like what you are doing.
You have four basic choices in leaving: Get DF because your conduct violates the 100 or so rules in the Shepard The Flock book which you can read about at jwfacts.com under the heading of Disfellowshiping.
Secondly.... you can Disassociate yourself by a formal letter or verbally to the Elders and it's done. However the same words will be spoken at the Meeting..."SO and SO is no longer a JW" let the shunning begin. And turning Apostate is the worst sin of all to a JW. Even pedophile's are treated better (more about that later).
So no one knows what great sin you are being shunned for. Their first thought is immoral conduct. Because the congregation still believes....... they simply think you have sinned. Not that you took a principled stand.
Third....... you can simply fade......do nothing that violates the religious beliefs of family, your close friends etc. Don't talk about this on Facebook etc. In fact it's best to not talk to your wife about this if she is prone to consult the Elders.
Remember the two witness rule so you can't tell two or more witnesses who can report this to the Elders.
Having a strong reason to fade is your best weapon for getting away and being left alone. There is an assumption, that I hope someone can clarify on this forum, that if a JW is 'stumbled' by something another JW says or does the sin is on them not the person who is stumbled. So the Elders can not really hold a stumbled JW accountable as long as you keep your mouth shut.
So if there is not a personal issue with a JW that stumbles you....... I'd encourage you to learn, If you haven't already, about the growing pedophile issue that has come to light within the JW community. Their 'two witness rule' to the act of child sexual abuse prevents the Elders from throwing the pedophile out of the congregation.
The Society is also culpable in the past for decades counseling the JW's not to go to the Authorities and report this crime if state rules don't making reporting this crime mandatory.
There are a ton of law suits in play at this time suing the WT Society as well as pedophile Elders or some of the Elders who allow this situation to go on.And while their is no happy news about this it is being covered by non apostate news sources. One does not need a so called apostate source to document this.
If you Google 'Jehovah's Witness Pedophile issue' you will get a ton of information. Look especially for information about the ARC (Australian Royal Commission). You can see the sworn testimony of Elders, Branch Elders and one of the Governing Body members actually lying during their sworn testimony.
The documents that were presented were gathered by the branch under the law from 1950 on. There were 1006 cases of child sexual assault within the JW community and not a single case was turned over to the authorities.
So it's up to you as to what path you take...remember all's fair in theocratic warfare. Refrain from blowing up your household, small steps and kind words work better then arguments with JW's who are not ready to entertain your point of view. The thing about pedophiles is simple........ it's a crime, a major one...... not just a sin.
This will be your safe place as long as you need it.
My best to you.