I told my parents I no longer believe any teachings of JWs

by Fognomore 18 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Fognomore


    Since my last post I have spoke with my parents and told them I am no longer a believer. I told them I just can't anymore. Here is my short story. I am a 3rd generation JW , been an MS, on circuit and district assembly parts. I was a true believer , but over the last 2 years I have been awakened to the reality of the organization. I have been greatly depressed, angry, and in despair. My JW family understands that something is not right, I have not been to a meeting in 3 months but I went today with my family. It's hard to listen to the manipulation through talks and songs. I am an adult and I told my parents first as they deserve to know, and I will be telling my wife in the next month or so. I have struggled so hard.

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    I have said in the past that the "Three Pillars" of JWism are Guilt, Shame and Anger.

    The feelings you are having are a normal grief reaction to realizing that the World View you were taught was insanely wrong.

    Don't be (too) angry with your parents - they were fooled too - even more than you were, because they are still IN!

    It is a fact of human psychology that one of the hardest things for most humans to do is to ADMIT THEY WERE WRONG. We see this with "investors" all the time - and what bigger "investment" can you make than your ENTIRE FUTURE?

    You _DO_ have a right to be angry at the Ponzi schemers and LIARS who fooled you and your folks.

    Use that ANGER along with the philosopher's stone of LOGIC to convert that ANGER into ACTION, by first saving yourself, then saving anyone else you can.

    You will find allies and friends on this site.

    Best wishes, Fognomore!

  • Wasanelder Once
    Wasanelder Once

    It's a big decision and I applaud you honesty and courage in making it. I guess it could make you nuts if you didn't. I wish you peace with all your family and hope they are slackers when it comes to shunning. Good luck fognomore.

  • smiddy3

    Best of luck telling your wife fog.... I hope she has an open mind and see`s your reasons and doesn`t run to the Elders dobbing you in as an apostate .

    Our thoughts are with you

    Take care

  • Fognomore

    It is hard to separate the anger, but I assured my parents that I love them. Their story is all too familiar to some of the other stories I have read. My mom was abused ( emotionally and physically) , by her mother and my father had minimal support from his parents, My understanding is that my father went to live with his grandmother at age 17. My mom and dad fell in love and got married at around 18 and 19 respectively. I had a good childhood , but in looking back it really sucked being raised as a JW. I know I cannot change the past , and my parents did their best. They provided the best they could both emotionally and materially-they both worked very hard and I respect and am thankful for that. I have 2 sisters and one of them is my twin sister who is serving as a pioneer. She has been pioneering for greater than 20 years. Her and her husband are serving in some type of JW sanctioned disaster relief in Florida. I just see the lies, deceit, and out right controlling behavior of the Borg and it makes me physically sick to my stomach. I have read so many encouraging stories for the last 2 years and it has helped me. I have just come to the point where I cannot even fake it anymore and my kids deserve the opportunity to live their life without a chain of belief system. I did go to the meeting today and all of the stories made me twitch , its so cult like and so controlling. I just cannot believe I did not stand up sooner or take control of my life sooner. Thanks to all.

  • snare&racket

    Well done for being so brave. The real world and a normal life await you 😉

  • steve2

    Eerily, the first part of your posting name, FOG, captures the essence of JW organization: Fear, Obligation and Guilt.

  • john.prestor

    Nathan Natas, I couldn't agree more. You're incredibly strong to leave a faith that puts up so many roadblocks between you and the world beyond, the world they're always condemning and attacking. You'll discover the world isn't really the scary place they said it is. It's... really nice in fact. It holds a lot of opportunities, a lot of struggles too, but a lot of opportunities for growth and discovery and adventure and connection with others.

    You're taking the first step to getting what you really want in life. To being who you really want to be. You're breaking a cycle repeated for over a century or more, three generations, that's decades upon decades of time. I also broke a cycle like that, I was the third generation in my family raised in a fundamentalist Baptist church. It was so hard breaking away from that, and it's taken years even after I left the faith to fully heal from what they did to me in that church, but I can't tell you how happy I am today that I left, that I broke that cycle, my life is so much better than it used to be, so much better. You can do this. You're so strong. Don't ever give up until you're living your own life for yourself and whoever else you choose on your own terms.

    How did your parents take it, by the way? Did they react worse, better, or about like you expected? I want to tell you too like Nathan Natas said you have every right to be angry at the people who misled you and misled your family. I'm furious, absolutely furious, at the pastor of the church I went to as a kid who threatened us with hell every Sunday, I am so angry at him for traumatizing me as a child like that, for shaming me and frightening me. Do whatever you need to do to accept and experience and eventually, not today, not tomorrow, but on your own time table, get rid of that anger so you can live in the moment and enjoy every second you're alive.

  • tiki

    Excellent! Continue to be honest and open....and once you are over the initial mountain the path will ease. Life in freedom and shedding the crazy religious shackles is the best.

  • James Jack
    James Jack

    Keep us up updated on your progress. Wish the best for you and your family.

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