When does it end? My marriage is 90% great for the most part, except when it come to this cult

by goingthruthemotions 26 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Nathan Natas

  The most important thing is that you honor the oath you made in the parousia of an invisible imaginary non-existent father-of-the-unicorns to never act in your own best interest, always act in a way pleasing to spineless weaklings who think everyone should be as weak and spineless as they are because if they're not, they are mean people.

  Don't ever be "selfish" - always leave the last cookie for anyone who says they want it more than you.

  Always take your most urgent personal issues to arbitration before a board of incompetent internet strangers because they really do *CARE SO MUCH* about your eternal happiness with a money-back gar-un-tee.

  Find the biggest dysfunctional internet clown you can and become his disciple/uchi-deshi. Even better if that clown is a spinster female who has never been asked to dance.

  That's just my opinion, you'll find many contrary ones here - follow ALL OF THEM.

  The doctor is out - of his mind.
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  Nathan Natas

  
  
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  goingthruthemotions

  Love the picture Nathan, usually when she goes into cult mode. i just tune her out, this lasts anywhere from 2 to 5 days.

  the sad thing is those are days lost with her.

  kairos... i do love my wife, i know we are in similar boats. like others on here are.
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  Ding

  Do you argue with her about the WT?

  Generally speaking, the more you criticize it, the more she will defend it.

  She has to see the problems for herself.
  

  Listen for anything negative she says about the meetings, field service, the elders, etc. and ask her to clarify what's troubling her.
  
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  goingthruthemotions

  Hi Ding,

  No i don't argue about the cult. in fact a couple of days ago she started saying something and i shut her down. i told her i will not go there and left it at that.

  Man, i wish she would see it for herself. but, i have given up hope on this.

  As far has saying anything negative, no...she will defend them at all costs. it is kind of sickening.
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  DJS

  GTTM,

  I feel your pain, and I'm sorry the WT cult appears to be destroying yet another family. I may not be the best person to give relationship advice; some would say that asking me for marriage/relationship advice is like asking Dr. Kervorkian for health tips.

  In the past 20 plus years I have had several relationships. All of them were functional at many levels. However, I noticed issues of concern very early on in all of them - issues that if not addressed would have eventually ended the relationship. In each instance I discussed these issues with the girls. None of them improved. Oh, some did for a while, but eventually people are who they are. People don't change.

  What I'm getting at is that I ended 4 relationships that were '90%' 'good' and functional because of what were relationship ending behaviors - to me - exhibited by these women. I would have rather ended them early than for them to degrade into the war of the roses. Still, ending a relationship with someone you care deeply for and that most of the relationship is good, takes an emotional toll. It takes an ever larger emotional and financial toll the longer it drags on.

  No one can determine for you what is the right course, as only you know whether the 90% will stay as it is or if it will consistently degrade until it is only 10% good. Or that it levels off at 70% or 50%. You are the only one who knows what you can accept and deal with for the long term. You need to make whatever decision based on your wife staying in the cult.

  Me? I've got very little patience for being with someone or some situation that is causing me pain. I would rather be by myself; but that is me.

  Good luck

  DJS (aka Dr. Kervorkian Relationship Guru)
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  Giordano

  Unless there is an overwhelming reason to attend meetings, based on your feelings about the religion, i'd stop attending. It's making you miserable. This is her religion now it no longer serves your needs or your son's. Use the time to do things with your boys.
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  DwainBowman

  Oh I so feel for you!!!! And totally understand! I am married to someone I really do love, but she is so totally in, and her real life long best friend, is her eldub brother, and the only way she will ever listen is if he stopped, and told her it was all a lie!!!!!!! The friction this is causing gets harder all the time!!!!!

  Good luck my friend!!!!!
  
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  sporece

  After 32 years in the cult i woke up and my marriage of 26 years fell apart. She was a freaking nut that always put the GB first in everything.

  Best thing that happened to me when she left because she did not want to live with an apostate.

  At 55 started a new and great life and met a wonderful, reasonable woman that i live with.

  Don't waste more time
  
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  Nathan Natas

  GoingThruthEmotions said, "we are in similar boats. like others on here are."

  
  

  Oh, the "My Boat Is Sinking But I Won't Bail" class.

  
  

  "Noah, how long can you tread water?" - God