Another Df'ing/ memory of a dear friend...

by Ghost of Esmeralda 48 Replies latest jw friends

  • myself

    Essie, I sent you a PM

  • Billygoat


    It is reactions like your story that I need to remember when I have those low points. Like you, I would have been a statistic if it weren't for the "worldly" friends in my life. When I've struggled with depression (just a time or two) this past couple/three years, it is Neil's face that comes to my mind. KNOWING full well he'd be devastated if I left keeps me from even thinking about it anymore.

    You're in my thoughts, as is Drew...


  • bebu


    I hope that somehow we may all lessen your pain as we share your burden of sorrow with you. May you find comfort that he is truly in Kinder Hands.

    God bless.


  • Mary


    So sorry to hear this..................his family must just be beside themselves..........and of course, you'll have all these assholes at the Hall who will now believe that this guy won't get a resurrection, because he died in a disfellowshipped state..........morons.

    Yes, the Governing Body members have certainly done a fine job on dividing families to serve their own selfish purposes and to try to cover their own sorry asses. Sometimes I hope there IS a firey Hell because they deserve to suffer for all the grief they've caused people in this life.

  • Ghost of Esmeralda
    Ghost of Esmeralda

    Everyone I am so grateful for your posts, you can't know how much so. I have been in a fog ever since Saturday night, I still can't believe this happened.

    Your posts are so supportive, I appreciate them so much. Thank you, thank you.

    When my head clears a little I will reply more in depth to you all. In the meantime please know that as I've been sitting here reading them with my eyes still swollen from crying, you have helped to comfort me, immensely.



  • myself

    Essie, Your PM(s) are in , but only the title shows up, could you email me?



  • Sentinel

    ((((Esmerelda))) My heart goes out to you in your loss. None of us should ever think for a moment that what we do or say does not affect some other person. Now your friend is gone, his wife is a widow, his son without a father, and the world without a tender and good hearted person, grieving full force, without anywhere to turn.

    This saddens me to tears.....

  • LyinEyes

    ((((((((((((((( Essie))))))))))))))))))))

    This makes me so mad I too am seeing RED. I am still so angry over my mom's suicide and those others that I personally knew about.I am so angry that "Drew" is now gone, and it hurts me so much to know that he was in that kind of pain,,,,,,,,and we all know why. D/F , is the ultimate cutting off , and when a person devotes their whole life and suddenly everything they have worked for is no longer remembered or even cared about , it is more than some can take. He did sound like a special gentle soul.

    My mom used to have a Tshirt,,,,,,she had it made herself back in the early 80's when you could pick out anything and have it ironed on a shirt, that looking back was prophetic.

    It said............" Only the Good Die young,,,,, Guess I'll be here FOREVER".

    Well she had it wrong at the end, but she was one of the Good ones, in so many ways, ways that I didnt fully understand until many years after she died.

    My heart goes out to Drew's son, he really needs his dad at that age and I know he probably wont hear enough good about him from the elders and probably wont be allowed to get the counseling he will need.

    Maybe someday , you can write him a letter telling him what a great persons his dad was , and share some little details about him. I know he will charish it . He might not fully understand it all now, maybe he will read the letter and save it, then when he is a man he will re read the letter with a deeper understanding. When a parent takes their own life, you try to find ways to take the blame on yourself, and all of the If Only I would haves,,,,,,,,,,,,, come flooding to your mind. His son will probably feel this right away, and will have years of grief over this.

    I don't know if those who die go to heaven, I want so much to believe that they do. I am sure that Drew would be there , and maybe those who like my mom , will be able to comfort him as well as Jesus , because I know that looking down on things here on earth,,,,,,,, Jesus must be mortified at what the JW's do in his name, and how terrible they treat the lost sheep , the ones who are truly in pain.

    You did a wonderful thing telling Drew's story and the more people that tell the real truth of how d/f and lack of love that most elders give depressed ones,,, ones that are d/f etc. I am sure it will help with awareness and maybe it will help stop some of the suicides.

    This is very sad, but just another reason that the WT is bloodguilty on.

    My thoughts are with you Essie for losing a friend and for Drew, and for his family.

  • myself


    Thank you for your wonderful description of Drew. I shared early memories of him, as you shared the later ones. He had a heart that no one can match. Thank you for giving me a view of his later life. Your post is a beautiful tribute to the person he was. I am at a loss in describing my sorrow.

    ((((((((Drew & family)))))))))

  • Ghost of Esmeralda
    Ghost of Esmeralda


    I cannot tell you how grateful I am to you for talking with me today. Sharing my sadness over his loss with someone else who knew him has brought me comfort beyond description. You have made a friend today in me. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Words fail me right now..(((((((((Myself)))))))))) I will keep in touch. You've given me such a gift today.

    Just speechless. I only hope that I did Drew justice with my post. I truly loved him, and still cannot believe he's gone.

    LyinEyes, thank you so much for the idea about writing a letter to his son. Even if I give it to him a long time from now, I do want to do that. I have so many sweet memories of his father with him when he was a baby...thank you for suggesting that. I want him to know how loved, respected, and wonderful a man that other people knew his father to be.

    The world needs more, not less, men like Drew was.

    forgive me, I forget who it was that posted that he must've been proud to have a friend like me. that is so kind of you to say, but honestly, it has to be the other way around. i am so proud that he was my friend, i only wish i could've helped him somehow...

    ((((((((((((Myself))))))))) just another hug for you because I still don't know what to say. I'm just rambling now because my thoughts are going so fast...jumbled up with such sadness that it's hard to make any sense.

    love to you all, thank you again for your support.


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