I do believe that, that counselor should have waited before giving you advice like that. But on the other hand people go see counselors not so that someone to reinforce what they already believe, but for an objective professional to listen to help you in the best way possible. I know for myself when I go see my psychiatrist for my depression, I sometimes think that the depression is caused by problem A, but after our conversation he helps me to recognized it is being caused by problem D and he knows that trying to work on problem D would be much more beneficial for me. So my point is, it is more beneficial to go into a situation with a counselor or psychologist or psychiatrist with an open mind as to what the root cause of the issue is. That is the point of going to see a mental health expert is to have a productive analysis of your issues and to have a professional help you work through the most damaging parts.
Leaving the jws is a "lifestyle choice" according to a counsellor
If you decide to leave then you decide to leave. If you decide to stay then you decide to stay. You most likely do not need assistance making that decision.
You need help in making sense of your family ACTIVELY making the decision to sever contact. That is what the difficult part is for us born ins. You can say its not a lifestyle choice if you want but your choice of being a free person has nothing to do with their choice of shunning people that dont agree with them. They have made their decision and are being true to themselves. You can get help in trying to make sense of it all but make no mistake about this..... Your family and friends are cutting you off if you choose to leave, not you. YOU are not doing that. It seems like you already understand that they will cut you off but you dont want to accept it.
Simply put, you have to come to terms with the consequences of either action and the very real stress that will come with either decision. Now you just have to deal with those consequences. Therapy, friends and this board are all good outlets to help you figure that out.
I had a few counseling sessions a few years ago. The therapist/counselor pretty much said the same thing, not those exact words, just a similar thought. The therapist looked at all religions as equal, as far as people choosing/believing in , and could not see the damage that the high control groups were doing to people. Cult was not in their vocabulary.
They want you to look inside at how you process the situation, not how to blame outside forces. I get that to a degree, but if they don't realize that their patient really is a victim, they're not going to be able to treat the situation effectively.
The first counsellor I tried thought I should join her group therapy. I explained that cults were very different from most traumatic experiences. She was rather indignant that I thought I had had a totally different experience emotionally to someone who had been through a divorce or had a miscarriage. I gave up trying to explain it to her.
My second counsellor knew about JWs because her relatives were involved with it. She said when she took her kids to their grandparent's house they were not allowed to play with their cousins whose parents were JWs. Her kids were viewed as a bad influence so had to play in another room.
As usual people don't understand this cult unless they've had first-hand experience of it. I strongly suggest you try another counsellor.