Leaving the jws is a "lifestyle choice" according to a counsellor

by purrpurr 33 Replies latest jw friends


    Leaving the jws is a "lifestyle choice" according to a counsellor

    Do you think it's a lifestyle choice?


    She Needs Counselling..

  • sparrowdown

    Unfortunately many psychologists and counselors haven't got a clue about high control groups.

    Maybe she needs to read Combatting Cult Mind Control.

  • Listener

    Surely it's not her job to tell you what is normal and what is not but to help you in working through what you personally find hard to deal with.

  • HappyGal

    It is much more than a lifestyle choice. It is not as simple as just walking away.

    I hope you find someone with the knowledge and experience in dealing with cults.

    In the meantime, there are some helpful books out there.

    I like the ones written by Bonnie Zieman. (former JW turned psychotherapist)

    1) Fading out of the JW Cult: A Memoir

    2) Exiting the JW Cult A healing handbook for current and former JW's.

    Of course this forum is a great resource as well. Many with experience in leaving a cult!

  • steve2

    I am employed by a national health board as a clinical psychologist and I can tell readers that I never second guess why people seek assessment and treatment.

    Even as an ex-JW, I still work with JWs and even ex-JWs and in my role, never put my agenda before the client. Yes, JWs are always informed that I am no longer in the organization (there is a requirement under law that clients need to know enough about a potential health service provider to make an informed choice). To date, no JW has ever declined to work with me - and the "agenda" is not mine but the clients.

    I take my cue from my clients. What presenting issues do they wish to work on?

    I am surprised the "counsellor" did not take the time to hear your story before making her comment. It's a little bit like a distressed spouse presenting to a health professional for help regarding the marriage and the professional saying, "Marriage is a lifestyle choice." Bizarre - and frankly unimaginable. Would the professional change their mind if they listened to the client and heard how abusive the marriage is?

  • dubstepped
    That counselor did you a favor. Ignore them and move on to the next one. They are clearly not good at what they do.
  • purrpurr

    I am moving on to another counsellor, but the nhs has long long waiting lists, by the time you actually get an appointment quite frankly you are just grateful to be seeing anyone at all.

    And no I can't afford to go private

  • Scully


    Is it possible that you could access interim care if your employer has what is known as EAP (Employee Assistance Program)?

    My employers have had this benefit available - and you can access the counsellors in-person, online, by phone, and by email. I was entitled to 5 of each type of visit per "issue", per year.

  • Nickr8123

    When you see a counseller you should ask them if they have heard of religious trauma syndrome. This is when someone leaves a highly controlled religion and loses contact with family and friends and a way of life and believes.

  • Phizzy

    Good luck Purr Purr, my Therapist was on the N.H.S , so there are some good ones, just pot luck though.

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