I don't think I have to put a mood barometer here, you already know my mood. I'm kind of shaking at the moment so bear with me. Thank goodness I typed this in WordPerfect earlier and just pasted into here.
I hate the Jehovah’s Witness Organization (not the people) but the organization. Is my anger misdirected? If I was out of line and I was just too hot-headed it will be okay if you tell me so. (in a kind way)
At lunch time I called my mother. We hadn’t spoken in a month. I always called at least every other week, but thought she knows my phone too. She rarely calls me, even just to ask how my daughter and I are doing. I just had no desire to call her because every time I did call it always brought me down and took me a while to get back to normal (at times I felt she was sucking me dry emotionally) Today I thought, this is silly, I’ll just give her a quick call to see how things are going with them. Big mistake. It started out okay. But then she started, like always, about my middle brother, and every time I tell her I really don’t want to hear about it, I don’t want to get in the middle of it. My youngest brother is always praised and he is always torn down. He’s my brother, I love him, yes he made mistakes, but not any worse than my father did, in fact my father did much worse. Maybe if she hadn’t commented on my brother the next episode might not have happened. We then got on to the subject of the Hitler movie and things were okay, but then she mentioned that not many people know this fact but a lot of JW’s lost their lives during the war. I was offended, and tried to explain, that no, it wasn’t because these were JW’s but if any small group had latched on to such a big monstrosity like the Jewish annihilation, I would think it was extremely offensive. She then started in how defensive I always got when the org was mentioned. Tried to explain that if 1000 people of a certain race were tortured, massacred, and along comes one single person of another and said hey what about the one person that I lost? I think the fact that anyone is killed is the tragedy. Am I seeing this wrong? Is she right? It’s like she’s on the offensive, then I’m on the defensive, then she’s on the defensive. She mentions that they know the truth, they have the truth. I said that if she wanted the truth then she needed to know about the document that the German JW org sent Hitler at the beginning of the war, supporting him. She obviously got very angry and said it was a lie. By that time I was shaking. I should know better than to call her. Each time I think that maybe this time it will be different. I know I can be a hot-head when I don’t think something is right, and someone is trying to raise themselves above others. The last thing she mentioned was the church and I asked what do you mean the church, that it’s a harlot? I can also get sarcastic at times, I know that it’s not a good trait. She then hung up.
I don’t know whether I should call her to apologize for my part in it. I could have remained calm and allowed her to say her thing, and not comment. But I was so offended by it. I don’t know whether to write her to apologize and try to explain why I got upset, but I don’t think it will help.
So if anyone can give me any advise how you would handle it I would much appreciate it. ( I just don’t want smart alleck comments please, like the JW are stupid) The strange thing is I’m more upset for my mother; how she’s handling it, than how I’m handling it. It was a horrible moment. I should have known better. I will probably not hear from her, in fact I’m sure of it. On one post I had mentioned being able to put this org behind me, and on another that I thought it was callous to pull the rug from under someone. I spoke too soon.