Called on a DF'd person today.

kairos

Wow, what a surprise that was!

I expected a warm welcome, as this was someone I have known for a very long time.

Nope, Uber disfellowshipped JW. Totally caught me off guard. Reminded me she is disfellowshipped and expected me to leave her, shunned. I told her I didn't care about that and had come to see her. This person has been out for at least a year, maybe longer and still hasn't corrected her "sinful course". I was told how she was looking forward to visiting with "the friends" again. She took full responsibility for the DFing.

It was really eye opening. I told her I quit attending the meetings nearly two years ago. This made her sad. She was NOT interested in hearing any TTATT commentary. I zipped in a quick one about the UN NGO membership. She had never heard anything about it and would not open her mind to the possibility that this could in fact be true. Said she would have read about it ( referring to the WT, I expect ) and made comments that indicates she has no trust for the media.

She is trying to get her life together and return to "the organization", as she put it. Attends all the meetings. Endures the shunning as necessary. Proper.

I've never seen this first hand. A glimpse into the life of a DF'd person that accepts and cooperates with the Watchtower, intent on returning and getting "spiritually strong" again. The whole while, praising Jehovah.

How could you be out and not research the JW's on the internet? It's not like they'll DF you again.

Village Idiot

I've known three long-time inactive or disfellowshipped Witnesses that were complete believers. They leave for reasons having nothing to do with doctrine or organizational behavior and will let you know that it is still "The Truth".

Not everyone has an intellectual curiosity like we do.

Shanagirl1

My son was like this when he was Df'd after leaving Bethel. All he wanted was to get back into his "community". And Frankly, as we were devout JW's at that time also, this is what we wanted too. I think his being disfellowshipped was the trigger for my own spiral downward into seeing the TTATT. It was not the main reason. But his experience through this and finally being re-instated, then the other issues over the child molestation crap is what made me open my eyes to the WT. But yes, I have known uber disfellowshipped ones who think you should shun them. One thing, though is we refused to shun our son. No matter what threats came at us from the "brothers". They wanted us to kick him out of our home, and we refused. Yep, He was our son, and this was the start of me beginning to realize how much my family needed to free ourselves from this religion. I could go on and on but, will not. Your post just brought up some memories.:)

Shana

kairos

A couple other little details I left out from earlier:

She asked if my wife and I were still together and if she was still a JW. ( This is crazy, but JW normal ). I told her that my wife and I are indeed still together and our relationship improved after I left. She was having a hard time believing me. She expected that my still in wife, to her relief, didn't leave me.

Also, I reassured her that she is still a human, I will not shun her.
She looked offended, afraid or nervous. It was hard to tell.

-------

Thanks for the reply comments. I'm interested in hearing more folks' experiences.

NewYork44M

Wow, that is a very sad story. Perhaps your visit did good, let's hope so.

OneEyedJoe

I'm currently being shunned by one of my best jw friends, because he's DF'd. It's so sad to see the power weilded by this cult and the mental prison it puts people in.

JWdaughter

My aunt was DFd and is now back in, drug in her poor husband and is a pioneer. God bless them, but they are a mess. He, almost 60, just got made a MS. Their KH,incidentally, has gone from 5 congregations (!) to 3. Yah,they have massive growth in the PNW.

Lost my own thread! . . . anyway, I never shunned her and she does not shun me. I am something between a little sister and daughter to her more than a niece-Ithink that has something to do with it. She sounds like such a JW robot sometimes that I just want to slap it out of her- but she was so messed up with other things for so long, that it seems the lesser of the evils of what her life has been. She DID leave and her life fell apart completely, got sucked into every issue imaginable with her family. Most had started while she was IN and her whole life was informed by the borg, so the WT really shouldn't feel proud of itself when lives collapse after leaving. If folks have a good foundation, (religion is part of it, not everything) then merely changing or even quitting a church should not send one into a spiral pit of destruction.

LisaRose

This doesn't surprise me. If you are doing something you believe is wrong and are disfellowshipped, your guilt will be overwhelming and the shunning is very painful, so your focus is on fixing your own issues and getting back in, you are probably not thinking about the faults of the Watchtower.

Is different for those that lost their faith before they got disfellowshipped of course. Also, if you were disfelowshipped in error and didn't actually do anything wrong, that might cause you to start questioning things.

Gone and forgotten

My ex was df'd and even through his drunken bouts would still try and preach to anyone who would listen. I'm out, but he is trying to get back in. But as JWdaughter said, being in is the lesser of all evils for him. He is so thoroughly indoctrinated that he will never see TTATT. And for him, that is probably best.

smiddy

I would say she has left the" truth" for selfish personal reasons and accepts responsability for that , however the "truth" has never left her .

smiddy

Called on a DF'd person today.

Share this