APOLOGY

by rebel 12 Replies latest jw experiences

  • rebel
    rebel

    I am very sorry. I was way overboard last night. I was hurt and wanted to take it out on someone.

    Basically, I am a nobody. So what - I was a JW at some time. I was also RC at one time. That is no different to millions of others. My life hurts. My husband is a staunch JW. I am thinking for myself and feel like crap. I used to hope I would get hubby to listen - He WON'T - he told me in no uncertain terms this week. He says he loves me but I must change and be the wife he expects. I feel depressed.

    A friend and an accomplice are out to make trouble. I am very tired. I don't care any more. They can do and say what they want.

    For all of you who are open-minded - STAY THAT WAY!

    Love

    xxR

  • blondie
    blondie

    Rebel, why do you have to change to be the wife he wants if he won't change to be the husband you want. He will just have to suffer in mildness like the sisters did have to when they have unbelieving husbands, like the examples I gave in my review. At least he doesn't have to worry that you will beat him and not wash his clothes or cook his food.

    Blondie

  • obiwan
    obiwan

    (((Rebel)))

    I'm so sorry,I don't know how long you have been married or if there are children, but there is so much more out there. It's difficult I know, but maybe the choice of wheather to stay or go needs to be made, who wants to live with someone who will always be on your back?

    The stress is great and we have all had our days. Please talk to us and let us help if we can.

  • SheilaM
    SheilaM

    Rebel:

    I know how horrible it is, I was so scared when I wasn't sure if Thunder was going to be stuck in that belief system or not. Emotionally it can mess you up. I don't know what to tell you to change his mind. I still have nightmares that Thunder goes back to the dubs and wake up just sick to my stomach . Best of luck and if you need to talk PM me

  • Englishman
    Englishman
    He says he loves me but I must change and be the wife he expects. I

    Then he is the one with the problem! You have to change to suit his whims?

    Tell him that you are in a partnership NOT an ownership!

    Englishman shaking his head at some of his fellow gender.

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    What can a person really do to control another? Because that is exactly what your hubby is trying to do with you. He might be very afraid of uncertainty, and your "rebellion" is taking him down a path he does not want to go. But that does not excuse what he is trying to do. Control is a knee-jerk reaction. And you still have choices on how you respond. PM me and I will give you some ideas.

  • nightwarrior
    nightwarrior

    R.

    Please please please call me...... email me if you have lost the number, caff41@aol.com

    You know that i will listen, and we will try and meet up soon and I mean soon.

    Cath

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    Rebel,

    I feel your anguish. I have no advice other than to say, do what you think best.

    This part got me: My husband is a staunch JW. <snip>.... He says he loves me but I must change and be the wife he expects.

    That isn't "love". Jehovah's Witnesses (as often as they spray the word "love" around) often have no idea what love is. When one person says to any other "you must change or I won't accept you", that is not love. Love accepts what the other person has to offer, or it doesn't exist at all.

    His conditional love sounds like an arms-length "agape" love. It must feel sad to be treated so coldly.

  • Wolfgirl
    Wolfgirl

    Oh how sad and horrible. He is not showing love at all. If he doesn't love you for who you are, he doesn't love you at all. I learned that in my first marriage as well. :(

  • Shakita
    Shakita

    Rebel:

    I could tell from your previous post that you were having some problems. I hope some others here can help you, problems like this are so hard to handle. I just wanted you to know that I will be thinking of you and hope that you can work things out with your husband. Maybe some professional marriage counseling would help? It might help your husband to get some outside(of the JWs) counseling on how to lovingly treat a marriage partner. The JW's headship crap is downright abusive to me. Gives the man an excuse to treat his wife as a lower form of life.

    Take care.

    Mrs. Shakita

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