question: scuicide and mental illness
Hamas: Im feeling a little suicidal myself
Thats not funny!
I wish we could transfer our pain and suffering (whatever that may be) to the R&F (AND OF COURSE THE SO CALLED "FDS") JW for several days.Perhaps then, the R&F and the FDS would cause a change for the better within the WTB&TS.
Any thoughts on this?
That had to have been very hard to deal with, Lyin.......I have had attemps close to me, and friends suicide, but no family. The attempts were bad enough. You have my deepest sympathies.
I, too, suffer from depression. I hate to see you all in so much pain... I can't tell you my stories yet on how I nearly ended it... however, it was a direct result of the borg and their lack of love.
Looks like you're getting a lot of support here. You have mine too. If ya ever feel like you're in danger, get help! If you need or want to call me. I sent you my cell phone number in a message.
Thank you for the thoughts ya'll, it was very touching to think how many on this board who have heard my mother's story,,,,,,have said more to me than any of the witnesses ever did. I have been on this board over a year or so, and already I have had more heartfelt love shown for my mother's plight than all of the 17yrs since her death from any of the witnesses.
I had someone , I beleive it was Lady Lee, who when I posted a story about my mom, posted a picture of a bouquet of flowers for my mom, and "spoke" her name, ( typed of course) and it moved me so much and I just cried,,,,,,, cried for the flowers my mom did not get at her funeral, because she was d/f and it was suicide. That always hurt me ,,,,,,,, of all the things you focus on when something like this happens, I was irrate about there being no flowers for my mom from any of her so called JW lifelong friends. After all flowers symbolize love....... there sure was a lack of love shown on the day we said goodbye to her, no calls, no cards, nothing.
I have healed more over the last year since leaving the borg and being here, than I ever did in all those miserable JW years. It has been hard with out my mom, it was hard to go thru, it still is. Not a day goes by I dont feel grief over how bad her life got, and I always am left with questions, I may never know.
Shamus,,,,,,,,,,,, you cracked me up soooooooo much a thread the other day,,,,,,, trying to remember what it was,,,,,,,,,but it was damn funny, everything you said.........I hope one day if you really want to you can feel comfortable enough to share your stories........ if not, that is ok too, it is your lifestory to share or keep to yourself. But if you ever need to talk, my email is open or send me a PM,,,,,,,,,,,,, that goes for anyone out there........ really anytime, I will listen.
I always feel so passionately about the topic of suicide and if anyone ever says they are so sad they feel hopeless or comes right out and says they are thinking about it,,,,,,, I will do everything I can , to try to help them make it thru that terrible feeling.
I feel that my mother would be proud of me for telling her story, or maybe she is,,,,,,,,,not sure where she is right now on my beliefs, but that was the kind of person she was, so honest and open , and she was pretty humble . I think if she thought it might help someone not to make the same mistake she did, giving up life, her children as they grew up, seeing grandkids, having her horses, etc......she would be ok with me telling her story. I have feared that telling her story might be embarrassing to her, but when you read all the details it isnt,,,,,,,but it is hard to tell a story that doesnt have a happy ending, with no chance to be any different,,,,,,,,,,, at least not in my life , my life here on earth. Maybe her story has a happy ending if she is in heaven, I dont know. Maybe my story will have a happy ending if I go to heaven when my days are finished here, and I get to be with her again.
I wish she would have held on thou......... I really do.
Thank you so much. I am fine, for now, but you never know when the imbalance will occur again and throw one into the pit. Your poor mom... how dare anyone say that she was wicked. How dare they. No man should judge any other, and yet they do it constantly. I cannot imagine how you feel, being so alone like that. Those self-rightcheous JW's just showed whom has no natural affection.... remember the story of the prodigal son? I am just too angry to type right now.
In case anyone wonders where to get support, please visit:
They have links to 5 excellent message boards that can get you through whatever you need to work through. If it weren't for them, I would be dead - no kidding.
Initially when I first started this post I was trying to 1st get some type of understanding about how having lived in the Jehovah Witness culture has impacted thier members in the way it had impacted Megan. 2nd I was trying to build some type of case against Megans parents to help me fight my custody battle. I have come to the realazation that There are many Megans out their and also there are alot of people like me out there too. I am living day to day with the loss of my Megan. This pain has driven me to the brink of destruction only to have my prayers answered by god in the most unexpected ways. I have seen people respond and reach out to one another in ways I had not even considered. I have felt the empathy of people who have truely stood in my shoes and It is more than appreciated. I would hope that this form does not fade away
I cry every time I visit this section of your and I guess I can say now even though I have never been a witness, Our web site. They say tears are a way to clens the soul (god I wish this thing had a spell checker) Lyin I feel your pain and loss every one who has sincerly posted here I thank them for it. I will not use any of this in my endevour to gain my childrens custody these stories I feel are sacred and meant only for healing. As they are helping to heal me.
The day megan died I was writing a poem. The reason I initally wrote this poem was to thank megan's aunt peggy and uncle danny for them always being there for megan and myself and our children. I had just finished the poem and called home to read it to megan when I discovered from my son that megan had left a note on the table and he did not know where she was although her car was in the driveway.
Family and friends a gift from God
With an approving nod
A warm smile always there
Given from people who truly care
Our kids we worry and fret about
Oh how funny to hear Chris shout
Kenny a joy beyond all belief
Allen learning something, "what a relief"
In times of trouble and despair
You’re the ones who are always there
To give us shelter and relief
To somehow lessen the grief
A hand to hold
Before we fall
These, things are precious
To us all
Megan, Larry, Allen, Christopher, Kenny
Larry, I am really glad that we can give you some perspective on the JW mentality and what it can do to some people who have depression , abuse etc. issues.
When you lost Megan, you lost just about everything,,,,, except the babies..... for that I can surely seeing you fight to keep them close to you ,I bet Megan knew you would take care of them. They should be with their Dad,,,,,,they should be with the one parent they have left and grow up knowing that they were loved by both of you. Only you can give them what they need, a father. I am sure you will tell them all about their mother and even thou she decided to leave the world out of pain, you can comfort them that it wasnt them ,,,,,,,, some kids do think they are why their parent commits suicide. You will have you hands full with dealing with this issue for the rest of your life and theirs. But with alot of patience , understanding, love and some help , maybe some counselling as the kids get older , you can do it.
Don't hesitate to use my story in anyway , if it would help you get your lawyers or child service to understand the destructive things assoiciated with cults, such as JW's. I am sure my Mom would say the same thing. My story is out there for the world to see because I just hope in some way, if it could save one life, it will make me feel that I have done the right thing by sharing it.
Please keep us informed on how things go.
Lyin Wouln'd that be nice if by somehow sharing our stories we could possibly reach out to someone who would have otherwise taken Megans path. If not for anything but to realize the true impact that scuicide has on evryone espeacially the people who they are closest to. I have seen that about a thousand people have viewed this topic and if even one of them perhaps held back from making the decision to end thier life I think that it would be nice.
I know that by posting here it has helped ne alot.