Did You Feel Bad About How YOU Treated Disfellowshipped Ones?

by minimus 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • minimus

    Being an elder, I could talk to DF's ones to see how they're doing. The WT. tells the rank and file that those disfellowsipped are as "dead" in Jehovah's eyes. We therefore should not talk to them or have any dealings with them. It is cruel and unusual punishment, especially when we refuse to speak to our own flesh and blood. Have you forgiven yourself for treating human beings in this way?

  • JH

    I did talk to disfellowshipped ones, but with no one around to see. Like every other dub, I didn't want to be caught talking to them.

    I knew it was stupid to shun them, because how did you expect them to come back? After all, they always said that they shun a person so that he realizes how wrong he is and hopes he comes back.

    So, if the bottow line is to see the person come back, why shun him?

  • DanTheMan

    When I saw them at the KH, I wouldn't talk to them, but I would smile and look into their eyes to acknowledge them.

    One time I walked up to a sister to say hi. I had never seen her at the KH before. She looked away and said almost in a whisper "I'm disfellowshipped". I hated that sh!t.

  • fairy

    Yes, i regret the way i treated them......its a sorry situation when they get treated like that

  • ikhandi

    At the time No because I was being a model jw. Now I feel bad for those still in that situation who attend meetings.

    Stand up for yourself even if your standing alone

  • gitasatsangha
  • minimus

    My niece is disfellowshipped. I talked to her after not seeing her for a couple of years. She was shocked that I even said "hi". It turns out that I've talked to her at length for the last few months now at different times and she told me that because I spoke to her she felt so much better. She called her JW mother to tell her of our exchange and that she had gone to her therapist to tell her of my not shunning her. By her own account, my niece had dramatically gotten better,emotionally and mentally. I am very happy over this.

  • Prisca

    Good for you Minimus!

    I had a good friend that was Df'd. I felt horrible shunning him. He needed support, and instead he was shunned by those closest to him. Even his family won't call him - he has to contact them just to let them know he's still alive.

    When I left the JWs I resumed contact with him. He's now df'd for the 2nd time, and he says that df'ing does not help, especially when some people suffer from guilt and depression over why they were df'd. Though in a way, shunning him has been beneficial - he's realised what empty love JWs have, contrasted to good "worldly" people. So it has helped him see that the JWs do not have the "truth".

  • Faraon


    Maybe because of my upbringing as a Catholic, I never shunned anyone. I always thought of the parable of the prodigal son.

    Maybe I was a bad Jehovah Witness because I always followed what the bible said, as I thought it at the time. I always thought that it was god, and not the organization who would be the judge at the end. Because of this, I had many arguments with the book study conductors. Not one of of the rest of the people would back me up.

    I think now that JWs should stress that it is not what is in their hearts, but what the law says about things that takes precedence, such as in the case of the poor man who tried to prevent the ark from falling to the ground from the cart and was murdered by Jehovah for this deed.

    See... you should remember all the laws and the latest WT information before you take action or Jehovah will kill you. Take your time thinking before you act. Check the latest light. Maybe you could've prevented the ark from falling yesterday, but the latest Watchtower now says you can not. Maybe you had a cancer operation that prevented you from attending a meeting, but you should've had someone tape record it.

    I also think that Catholics should start shunning all the relatives who belong to churches that shun. That'll make people following their conscience think twice before leaving their religion.

  • mattnoel

    No, I used to talk to them anyway !

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