Why do elders step down when their children are disfellowshipped?

by truthseeker 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • truthseeker
    truthseeker

    Hi everyone, a question that has been on my mind for a while.

    If Jehovah appoints the elders, why is it that when one of their kids is disfellowshipped some of them step down as an elder?

    Does Jehovah dis-appoint them?

    And then later on, they can be re-appointed. Is this a scriptual thing?

  • Valis
    Valis

    I think it "reflects badly" on elders when thier children leave the org...as if to say....

    "Well I tell the congo all the time how they should run thier own households and I can't even keep my own clean.."...

    I happen to agree w/this...step off the podium if you are clearly a hypocrite...

    I know this to be the case and not the case....unfortunately the one that is not the case is most sad...my good friend Dax was beaten by his father all the time, yet his dad remained an elder, even after Dax left home. dax is deceased now and his dad is still chugging along as far as I know...nice guy..

    Sincerely,

    District Overbeer

  • Mulan
    Mulan

    Supposedly, if one of their kids is df'd, he hasn't been "presiding in a fine manner" and is no longer "irreprehensible".

    Interestingly, when one of our sons was df'd at 17 for smoking, the CO and the other elders wouldn't even hear of Dave resigning, and they never considered removing him. The CO said they couldn't lose him. Maybe it depends on your elder "rank".

  • JH
    JH

    If you can't take care of your family, how can you take care of the congregation.

    Basically, that's it.

  • avishai
    avishai

    I always thought this rule was so stupid, & shame/status based rather than anything else.

    I mean, by the same logic, Jehovah should be asked to step down as "GOD", but the jws don't ask him to.

  • happyout
    happyout

    Avishai,

    Good point! I don't necessarily agree that someone should have to step down if their children are DF', because the children are individuals, and cannot be kept under lock and key. Of course, if the parent was just out and out neglectful or something, of course. But, in the cases I saw when I was in the Borg, it was mostly guilt on the part of the elder, maybe if he hadn't spent so much time "sheperding" outside of his own household, he would have seen the coming issues with his child.

    Happyout

  • rocketman
    rocketman

    Basically, it need not be an automatic thing. The elders will generally meet to consider whether the elder dad has been neglectful or not. If not, He can stay on. He might feel though that he should step down though, perhaps in order to spend more time with his family (gee wiz, you'd think the FDS would realize that the reason many elders supposedly get into such a predicament in the first place is that they are running around to meetings, doing shepherding, etc, while their wives and kids are left alone.

    Personally, I think the whole process is ridiculous. The first thing the elders will likely ask the elder with the df'd kid is whether he's been conducting a home study. So, many elders go through the motions of doing so just so that they won't be found negligent later. Also, once a child gets a bit older, how much "control" does a parent really have, especially once kids get into driving a car, etc.? I'm not saying parents should be lax, but I think it's wrong to hold a guy responsible and remove him from something that he devoted years of his life to because his child may have been df'd.

  • wednesday
    wednesday

    Not everyone steps down. Some clutch onto that title , holding on with their fingernails sunk in deep. I have known 3 elders that did so. Thaey ratted out their own kids and spread gossip around the hall about their kids so they could make it clear "they" were not at fault.

    clutching onto that title- that is what it is all about.

    weds

  • Mystery
    Mystery

    My dad didn't step down when I was DF'ed. But of course MY actions were blamed on the "brother", and it "wasn't my fault". Even when at my "meeting" I lied to the elders about the last time we had been together and at the brother's second meeting he told the entire truth. But then that was glossed over because the brother that was DF'ed with me wasn't from a "real spiritual family" and "lil' ole me was". What a laugh.

    My dad did step down a couple of years later due to a work related infraction. He felt that with accusations coming from "the world" regarding his business would hinder the name of Jah. So he willing stepped down.

  • wednesday
    wednesday
    My dad didn't step down when I was DF'ed. But of course MY actions were blamed on the "brother", and it "wasn't my fault". Even when at my "meeting" I lied to the elders about the last time we had been together and at the brother's second meeting he told the entire truth. But then that was glossed over because the brother that was DF'ed with me wasn't from a "real spiritual family" and "lil' ole me was". What a laugh.

    And u are proud of this? Some honest person admitted to their sins, and u LIED and now think it is funny?

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