You might have been a JW if...

by Incognigo Montoya 41 Replies latest jw friends

  • greenhornet

    The beginning of the year is Sept.

  • Giordano

    Congratulations IM...... a great and funny reminder on what really sets JW's apart from the people they want to influence.

  • JustMe2

    If the word "pioneer" doesn't make you think of covered wagons.

  • NVR2L8

    If you believe you succeeded in life because of the "training" you received at the kingdom hall.

    If you believe the food on your table or the roof over your head is a blessing from god.

  • jesscd

    ...if you believe you have the equivalent of a college education because you read the watchtower and awake magazines.

  • murse

    You're an ugly, zit faced, borderline homosexual looking, scrawny wimp and your wife is a perfect 10.

  • new boy
    new boy

    Your have no retirement because the "new system" was coming back in 1975 and you are now wearing dentures because Jehovah was going to fix your teeth in the new system that never came.

  • WillYouDFme

    If seeing someone at the store that you Might Think was DFed makes you as nervous as if you just robbed a bank.

  • Pete Zahut
    Pete Zahut

    You may have been a JW if :

    • Your digital clock reads 6:07 and you still mentally add the letters B.C.E. to make it 607 BCE.
    • You hear a song in an old movie and can still hear bits or entire sections of a kingdom song that was lifted from it.
    • You need to make an important decision and out of habit you start looking for a bound volume to see what the correct "thinking" is on the matter.
    • You used to thank Jehovah at every meal and for providing your food and for blessing your family with a roof over their heads even though and your worldly neighbors have the exact same house and buy their groceries at the same supermarket as you do.
    • You run into your old JW friends who are aging and you delight in saying " Hey....weren't we supposed to be perfect by now...where's my pet Lion ?? "
    • Your graduated from highschool in the year 1975 even though they said the system would be over by then but now you're 61 years of age, a grandfather and will be retiring with a pension at the end of the month. They even scoffed at the notion that you'd ever be able to use a pension and viewed saving for retirement as a lack of faith.
  • Muddy Waters
    Muddy Waters

    You have a collection of hilighter felt markers, which, when used to underline your WT magazine, makes you feel incredibly spiritual and even self-righteous over others who have not hilighted their own magazines as copiously, if at all.

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