District Convention (page 2)

Carmel

Having left the "matrix" nearly 45 years ago, shunned by family all of those years, I recently found out that there was an on-going debate amongst my brothers, their wives and my parents about whether or not to follow the shunning guidelines. Apparently some would have refused to shun me had I showed up, but alas, I got as far away as opportunities allowed and found new friends, family and persuits. Unlike you, I had no fondness for any siblings or parents, so the mutual disadmiration was to my benefit.

I hope you find a reasonable resolution to your delimma although it's unlikely with Armageddon just around the corner!

carm

Maverick

There is no easy way around this problem. This is a lose/ lose situation. The ground rules have been laid out by some very evil, heartless, wicked men who could care less how what they do hurts you or your family. I wish I could say something profound and make this all work out. By you will have to face the lose of either your self respect or your family. Sorry, but that's the truth. I wish you peace, Maverick

Dawn

Charmed.......

Tell them you'd love to go - then suddenly get violently ill at the last minute. Call your parents - tell them how awful you feel and would definately go if you weren't so ill - then ask them to take notes for you and fill you on on any new stuff - maybe even pick up one of the new books for you.

This gets you out of the assembly (for now anyways) but keeps the lines of communication open with your family.

This isn't the final answer - just a way to delay and give you some more time to think things out.

Sunspot

Hi Sweetie,

Unfortunately there will HAVE to be a "confrontation" about this.....they will NOT "let go" and you'll be hounded about your "standing" in the WTS.

But I LIKE what Dawn suggested....let them THINK you'll go, and then plead "sick call" on the dreaded morning of departure! It will save face for the time being, and give you more thinking time.......

Our hearts are with you...

Hugs,

Annie

unique1

I feel the exact same way. I am a peace keeper by nature (probably cause I grew up around so much argueing). I usually think of it as doing something I hate with my parents because THEY enjoy it. Just like if my mom had a day long crocheting seminar or my dad wanted to go golfing, neither of which I have interest in. I would suggest agreeing to go for one day (the day that interferes less with your plans, like maybe Friday at least you won't be at work) with them and insisting you all go out for dinner afterward so you will get to spend some time with them away from the assembly. If they ask about turning your back on Jehovah, you can always spew some crap about being stumbled by a brother or sister. Saying Stumbled always automatically gets their sympathy. Wierd but it works. You will probably get a speech about how you shouldn't let a human come between you and JAH, but you can just insist it is too painful for you to discuss at this juncture.

Of course, you could just say screw it and deal with the results. If you can do that, more power to you. I hope it turns out better than expected.

BEST OF LUCK!! (oh, I am not supposed to use that term "Luck" am I?)

BEST WISHES!!

Sirona

Charmed,

Sorry you have this dilemma.

I don't think you should pretend you want to go. You said that they're always trying to get you to go to meetings, well that must be because you've given them reason to believe you "might".

I say be true to yourself because I've personally discovered that that is one of the most important things we can do for ourselves and our wellbeing.

I have made a stance with my family that I am definately NOT returning to be a JW. Then I've made sure I pulled close to them some other way. I know this may not be possible for you, and I'm not encouraging you to lose them, but I really think that being honest with them about who you are is most important.

E.g. if you were lesbian and you knew they hated lesbians, would you date a man just to be in their favour? I don't think so. Don't compromise your own beliefs to pamper to their cult!

Sirona

kproscts

Charmed,

I wished I had something better to say than what I will, but here it goes. Not a day goes by that I think of biting my tongue, just to see my mom and a few of my relatives and friends again, I miss them so much it hurts. I always come back to should I do that I would not be true to myself! Here's an even better one that bends my mind - my mother is so into the JW that if I were to be able to show her the other-side, I do not think she could handle it. She is torn just as I am but will not listen to reason and the times we speak, it breaks her heart 1) because she loves and misses me and 2) because she feels she has betrayed god. I don't understand how she can pray to a god that she says is loving and in the same breath believe that he will punish her for just saying "Hi son, I love you, I'm fine and doing well, how are you? You are not the only one and I am just begining to decide what I should do with regards to my family after all of these years. My best wishes to you and if you ever want to chat just let me know.

Jason

jgnat

Cruzanheart, that is such good advice,

She said that I need to grieve and sort out three things: the life I thought I had, the life I wanted to have, and the life I really had.

I had to sort out some very complicated feelings I had about my mom. Essentially I did what your therapist is suggesting. Mentally, I "buried" my mom, the mom I remembered, the mom long gone. I grieved over the loss of what I could have had. Then, I reconciled myself to what I could have today. My mom is not the same person she was, but we do have a relationship of sorts. She and I correspond regularly, and I know she eagerly watches the post for my letters. She always sends me a naughty joke when she writes back.

Her latest,

"What did one bellybutton say to the other? There must be a party going on down there. Dick just went in!"

Oops, I digress. Charmed, I don't think you are ready to attend a convention. There is a tug-of-war going on between what your family wants you to be and who you need to be. You see, I could attend a convention without even blinking an eye. Because those meetings, though a deadly bore, have no pull on me. I bring a good book, and relax. You can't do that yet.

DevonMcBride

I found this topic of discussion very interesting. It seems the brainwashed Jehovah's Witlesses on Witless Zone think the WT has gone a little overboard with their internet warnings.

http://jwzone.org/forums/showthread.php?s=883f829ec65eaf813e2eab91a67c9145&threadid=5288

blondie

Can't see it, Devon.

District Convention

Share this