Upbringing

by punkofnice 22 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  BluesBrother

  Hello Punk.

  It seems that my life followed a similar course to yours. My mother was a doorstop convert when I was toddler. I was brought up in “The Truth” , then MS , then elder which I served for many years . Like you I was around 50 when I woke up.

  “50 wasted bloody years.“.....indeed.

  I chose the slow fade rather than D/a myself. Luckily my wife is not a typical dub and we still get on well. I make compromises to help out...

  Anyway , do I regret that wasted life ? Yes!

  I despise the Organisation that caused it all. But life goes on. We have few years remaining so I would rather try and find contentment, if I can ( it does not always happen)
  
  
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  punkofnice

  Thanks for your replies geezers and geezeresses. I'm glad I'm not alone.
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  Sea Breeze

  I personally like to see things in charts.... probably a guy thing. Perhaps this chart might help:

  
  
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  Diogenesister

  dont know how much time has past since 50 for you, but it does seem like you are carrying a lot of anger. Perhaps that is when you are making a point, or and need to get your feelings out. I feel like i am moving past it already. Do you feel like your feelings have improved at all since waking?

  I've noticed a change in Punky since his wife divorced and remarried. I think Punky has lost far more than many of us (not all). Losing your religion, your wealth, a career or friends is one thing .....losing your family is a whole other.

  I only wish those bastard elders had kept their traps shut and kept out of your marriage punk. I feel for you very much😔
  
  
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  punkofnice

  Thanks Dodgy knees.

  You have hit the reality of it, I surmise.
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  stan livedeath

  dodgy knees

  
  
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  Magnum

  50 wasted years for me, too.... and I, too, hold resentment. In fact, a lot of those years were worse than just wasted. For example, one can lie on the couch all day and waste time just watching TV and relaxing in comfort OR he can waste time by working in misery on and investing money in a project that fails. If I'm going to waste time, I'd rather it be in a way similar to the former, however, as a fulltime JW, I wasted time in a way similar to the latter. I slaved in misery with no pay for decades, actually donating to my master the whole time.

  I resent my mother (dad was non-JW) because she is still in the cult in spite of having me around to try to convince her of its wrongness. She knows my intelligence and abilities and honesty, yet she listens to Stephen Lett and not me.

  I have negative feelings for all my former JW acquaintances because I think that anybody who can be a believing JW today is seriously lacking in something - intelligence, comprehension, discernment, honesty, humility, or a combination of such.
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  TonusOH

  punkofnice: I guess what I'm asking is, does it sound normal that I hold this resentment and am frustrated that I can't explain to him?

  I think it's understandable. We trust our parents to take care of us when we are too young and inexperienced to make good choices. When we realize that they made a very bad choice for us, you can't help but feel resentment.

  If my mother had her way, I would still be working a dead-end job in a mailroom somewhere and serving as an elder in a congregation. I found my own opportunities and made a good living, and when I finally left the organization behind I was in a good place financially but also mentally and emotionally. That has taken some of the edge off of the bitterness I feel towards her for the way she treated me and for the low expectations she set for me. But it's hard not to feel it- even today, she lives a much better life because I succeeded in spite of her. But she does not appreciate it one bit.

  The WTS creates a poisonous mindset in people.
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  My Name is of No Consequence

  Punk,

  I appreciate you and your perspective on this forum. I look forward to your posts. I was also raised as JW. My father is gone too, but for whatever reason, I don't hold any resentment to him or my mother for raising me as such. I just feel that they were duped into believing that this was the best way to live. Luckily for my siblings and I, we eventually saw through the BS and are now just trying to live our lives the best way we can.
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  LongHairGal

  PUNKOFNICE:

  I think part of the reason for your anger is that people in general are not going to see justice as far as the religion is concerned.. It’s like an amoeba with an ever changing face. Also, nobody can ever give us back wasted time.

  MAGNUM:

  I agree with how you feel about people who still remain in the JW religion. My few friends who remain there are single women who believed the B.S. about not getting decent jobs/careers because of peer pressure/intimidation especially on women and also that ‘Armageddon was near’. Thankfully, I resisted this but boy was I resented!

  They are now over sixty and considered Very low income or poor. One gets by with monetary help from non-Witness family. The others, I suspect, get ‘assistance’ of some sort here and there by the ‘brothers’. I believe these women stayed in the religion too long and it may be too late for them to start over somewhere else. None of us was born-in but it was easier for me to leave..I also suspect there are deeply emotional issues with them and they couldn’t bear being ‘out’ or being disapproved of. 🙄

  All in all, I am convinced some JWs do not have what it takes to leave and stand on their own two feet in the world. I don’t compare myself to anybody else. I am just Glad that I left and that I wisely hung onto that job (that I was hated for) until Retirement.