Are JW's allowed to have close non JW friends?
I 007DB1 that is interesting. Typically JW's avoid non JW's like the plague. Maybe these are the more open minded ones. Uber JW's would mark these ones as "weak."
Esmarelda. JW's may not know the person is worldly. My sons friends all have beards and tattoos. Dead give away with that one. It depends on how your friends look. The "worldly" friends I had lunch with today look very normal. The less you tell people, the better.
I remember years and years ago, mid 1990's. We were at an NFL game with some friends. Some how we stumbled across someone from one of the local KH's. He asked me ''which congregation are they from?'' kind of in a snarky, imposing way. I said, '' no congregation''. Extremely awkward moment. The rest of the afternoon on felt very uncomfortable for all of us.
If you interact with his friends, there also a lot of options: they all called witnesses. But there people who only associate with JW, mostly young born-in. Next level, people which not baptised - called unbaptised witnesses. Next level baptised in not the best standing. Next baptised and in good standing. Next MS/Elders/pioneers.
Mostly you'll only meet the first two or three groups. So you don't know all his friends for shure. If you get contact with the last groups, then he know, that they don't make trouble about it. Means, not normal JW in high position. Crazy cult, isn't it?
The'll know if you wordly. When they see you, they ask you something like which cong or so. Remember the watchtower where friends should control Facebook and so from other and report it to the elders.
Maybe contact with a wordly person should be reduced if he wan't the talk in the kingdomhall at there wedding. The elders can say so. And maybe he is afraid to talk about it with you.
I was married in a K.H. with non-Witness friends attending. My best man was a non-Witness. Elders don't ask if there will be "worldly" people at the wedding, so there's no problem there.
However, in your case, your friendship will be scrutinized by the elders to establish if you are "studying" with your J.W. friend. If not, the friendship will be "advised" to be terminated. I suspect his wife-to-be is/will look down on your friendship.
Pressure will now be applied to your friend. Sad.
Unless you're dragging them into the cult.
I was raised a JW and was not allowed friends that were not JWs. There was no one of my age in the cult.
My life was very lonely.
Depends on the individual tenacity I guess. They don't encourage it, disapprove it , but if you choose to do so and have a GOOD preparation, there is NOTHING they can do apart of nagging the JW witness to drop the friendship.
just a quick note
"Your friend won't be able to get married in the kingdom hall if he has any "worldly" people in the wedding"
This is not completely true as my 2 sisters were married in the K.H. where the assemblies were made at that time , and I was the best man , was present , visible and was greeted by all. OFC they said to my sisters to try and go around me , but when people want the same thing , WHAT CAN DO A IGNORANT COPORATION AGAINST THEM?
are you male--or female ?
You are told to be wary of no n jws. I suspect that he is trying to distance himself because although you are his friend you will not be on the guest list for his wedding. He knows that you may have expectations that you would be invited but he doesnt want to explain why he invited a worldly non relative to the wedding. He would rather avoid the conversation and be distant than fess up that his religion is making him behave like an arse.
You can get rid of the elephant in the room by saying I am happy for you, I know that you may not be able to invite all your friends as family takes priority but I will be thinking of you and hope you enjoy your day.
A non-jw friend or relative should never be as important as any jw because unless they become a jw they will die forever at Armageddon and could sway you from your loyalty to the WT god. Growing in WT land, I was told that wordly people could only be acquaintances, never friends.
*** w11 6/15 p. 32 “Make Your Way Successful”—How? ***
A traveling overseer helped Wiktor, mentioned earlier. The overseer commented to him: “You speak passionately about your career in volleyball.” “That shook me up,” says Wiktor. “I realized that I had gone too far. Soon, I broke off association with worldly friends at the club and sought out friends in the congregation.”
*** w02 10/1 p. 10 Youths Who Love the Truth ***
Cintia, a 17-year-old girl who serves as a regular pioneer, tells how good association played a major role in her developing a love for God’s service. She says: “A good relationship with the brothers and regular attendance at the meetings have kept me from missing my worldly friends and the activities that are popular with kids, such as going to discotheques. Listening to comments and experiences at the meetings produced in me a desire to give Jehovah all that I have, and I feel that the best thing that I have is my youth. So I decided to use it in his service.”
*** w96 5/15 pp. 30-31 Are You a Balanced Pioneer? ***
Consider Hisako, a pioneering mother of three. What did she do when her oldest daughter began to display a lack of joy and enthusiasm for Christian meetings and field service because of the pull of worldly school friends? The real need was for her daughter to make the truth her own and become fully convinced that separateness from the world was the best course.—James 4:4.
*** w94 2/15 pp. 24-25 Keep Your Distance When Danger Threatens ***
We must also be on guard against extended association with worldly people. Perhaps it is a neighbor, a school friend, a workmate, or a business associate. We may reason, ‘He respects the Witnesses, he leads a clean life, and we do talk about the truth occasionally.’ Yet, the experience of others proves that in time we may even find ourselves preferring such worldly company to that of a spiritual brother or sister. What are some of the dangers of such a friendship?
We could begin to minimize the urgency of the times we live in or take a growing interest in material rather than spiritual things. Perhaps, because of a fear of displeasing our worldly friend, we would even desire to be accepted by the world. (Compare 1 Peter 4:3-7.) The psalmist David, on the other hand, preferred to associate with people who loved Jehovah. “I will declare your name to my brothers; in the middle of the congregation I shall praise you,” he wrote. (Psalm 22:22) We will be safeguarded if we imitate David’s example, seeking friendship that can build us up spiritually.
*** w93 4/15 pp. 15-16 pars. 8-9 Youths—What Are You Pursuing? ***
8 Some worldly youths may seem nice simply because they do not smoke, use bad language, or engage in immoral sex. If they are not pursuing righteousness, though, their fleshly thinking and attitudes can easily rub off on you. Besides, how much could you have in common with unbelievers? (2 Corinthians 6:14-16) Why, the spiritual values you hold dear are mere “foolishness” to them! (1 Corinthians 2:14) Could you maintain their friendship without compromising your principles?
9 So keep clear of unwholesome associates. Limit your association to spiritually minded Christians who really love Jehovah. Be careful even of youths in the congregation who are negative or critical. As you grow spiritually, your taste in friends will likely change. Says one teenage Witness girl: “I have been making new friends in different congregations. It has made me realize how unnecessary worldly friends are.”
*** w08 1/15 p. 32 When Christians Are Sifted as Wheat ***
True to Jesus’ words, Satan relentlessly attacked Jesus’ disciples back then, and he attacks us today. (Eph. 6:11) It is true, not every difficulty we face in life is directly caused by Satan. (Eccl. 9:11) Still, Satan is eager to use any means at his disposal to break our integrity. For example, he may tempt us to follow a materialistic lifestyle, to choose unwholesome entertainment, or to engage in immoral sexual behavior. He may also use associates at school or at work and unbelieving relatives to pressure us into pursuing to the full all that this world has to offer in schooling and careers. Furthermore, Satan may use outright persecution in an effort to break our integrity to God. Of course, there are many other ways that Satan uses to sift us, as it were.
One of the most controlling aspects of a cult, is segregation of its members from non-members. Similar to a compound. The difference between the Borg and a compound is that a compound has walls and members can't leave. But in the Borg, there are guards/walls in a different form. Close watching Elders, families in a way spying on others. It's like there are guard/walls, but in different form.