Bad Elder Stories

by shamus 42 Replies latest jw friends

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex

    Well I know so many, but I'll confine it to two stories.

    1. When I was dealing with my abuse issues there was one elder in the White Rock congregation who came regularly to "encourage" me and that was Mike Thoman. Yep, Jesika's dear old dad. What makes this so bad was while I told me some of my abuse memories, he was treating Jesika and her sister terribly. I won't uncover her completely but it angers me so much at how two-faced he was being to me. But then, he was acting like a typical elder. Of course he was the one who told me that "Jehovah doesn't care about your petty little problems because he's got more important things to worry about."

    2. Shortly after this my mother died (hooray!). Richard Rouse (I think he went to Cedar Hill back then) gave the funeral talk. Even though I was a good little JW in very good standing I was banned from the funeral. I was told later that there was a big picture of my mother, father and two sisters taken a few months before she died. Well Mr. Rouse gave his little talk and he deliberately left my name out of the surviving family. Seems he didn't approve of me.

    Reading through this thread makes you realize how mean elders are and how much pain and hurt they have caused to so many people. And sadly it still goes on.

  • PopeOfEruke
    Reading through this thread makes you realize how mean elders are and how much pain and hurt they have caused to so many people.

    and to me it is just symptomatic of how rotten the whole organisation is. The fruit is rotten because THE TREE is rotten.

    The most evil JW I know was a PO (before the Elder arrangement) in New South Wales, Australia, who would violently beat his children at home before the meetings, even knocking the boys to the floor and kicking them with his meeting boots. He would then go to the hall and conduct the WT study.

    He sexually abused at least one of his daughters for years, when she finally fell pregnant to him it caused his undoing and he was disfellowshipped. The daughter had a little boy and thankfully he was totally normal and not handicapped in any way.

    If the daughter did not fall pregnant who know how long the abuse would have continued!


  • african

    I am new to this board and have reviewed much of what is said. Why are the majority of the postings so bitter and profane? Much of what is said is true but is tainted by the undignified manner in which it is communicated.Maybe it just reflects a state of mind. There never will be an end to bad elder stories, as long as the expectations of these people are based on "works" not love The value of what they render is judged by their visible works only thats why it always goes wrong.

  • Maverick

    Dear african: This topic brings to the surface a lot of pain for most of us. The elders are the 'front men' in the J-dud organization. Coming in and going out, you have to get pass them. They guard the doors. And a good number of them are jerks. Seems the Society attracts two kinds of people who wish to be Elders, conscientious, caring men and small, petty, ego-starved men. The caring ones get worked until they, burn out or back off because of the ulgier side of the J-dud world. Or they get 'hardened'. The other type flourish. Their system of indoctrination weeds out the first group by changing them or rendering them powerless. And to get out of the J-dud world the second group will try to hurt you because you take away their power and position. Maverick

  • SYN

    African, would you mind explaining your position slightly more clearly? Your post is a bit...vague!

  • Sirona

    A friend of mine at the hall told me how her JW Elder father would beat her and her brother with a belt and have them standing in a corner for hours - he also regularly beat his wife. People noticed how he treated them even at the hall, but nothing was done. Only when he decided to commit adultery and leave his wife was he DF. Then I met him one day recently and he was telling me how "he wishes he'd never left JWs - its the best way to live" - what a tosser!

    Another elder, aged 50 something decided to leave his wife of 20 odd years and run away with my 17 year old friend. ! They were both DF but now guess what? He divorced his wife, married my friend and they're reinstated.


  • african


    I understand and agree with your sentiments. However when people are bitter and caustic in their approach to these issues are they any better than those that have hurt them?. I do appreciate that many who have been hurt by ,the at times illogical actions of older men,will have repressed anger. I just feel that if the commentary was a little more dignified it wouldnt detract from the essence of what is being said.

  • Witch Child
    Witch Child

    yes, African, those who express bitterness at their ill-treatment are better than those who hurt them. Those telling their stories here have a right to be angry and to express it. The elders were in positions of power and they used it to ABUSE. If we are bitter and express it, we abuse no one,. ~Witch

  • african

    Dear Witch ,please do not misunderstand me this is not a discussion about denying abused people of their right to advertise their experience ! not at all. To the contrary it is about expressing an opinion in such a way , that it doesnt give the accused any release from their actions. I sometimes wonder if the accused viewed these postings, if they would not enjoy seeing the effect of their handy work!!! Sometimes the contributions would justify their actions from their piont of view.By the way is your chosen name an accurate reflection of what you practise or do you just do it for the anticipated reaction. Greetings from Africa

  • Anne

    I don't think all elders are bad, like some of the other posts said there are several different types. I think some genuinely want to help people, but there are others who just want power and prestige. (They couldn't get it in the real world.)

    This is kind of a petty story, back in my pioneering days and I still was blindly believing all of "the truth" and it's teachings. I had decided to go to college (nursing school), so I could get a better job to support myself. One of the admission requirements to the nursing program was to have 5 letters of reference filled out by different people. I had four of them filled out by work contacts, and the fith I asked the P.O. of the congregation to fill out. I had worked with/for him on different occasions for quick builds in the first aid trailor, so it seemed appropriate at the time. I gave him the form, and a stamped envelop. I did not see it before it was sent in. The next week one of my school advisors tracked me down on my way from class, handed me the form and said "I don't know who this person is, but he is not your friend." She then said she was going to act as if she never saw it. It really was terrible. He had filled it out in red ink, and had written some vaguely not nice things. I threw it away. What really got me was he questioned my work ethic. At the time I was working full time, taking almost a full class load, and regular pioneering.

    I really should have kept it and confronted him with it. I'm sure he thought I would never see it. Funny thing was last year his daughter-in-law applied for the same program. He asked my dad for my phone number so they could ask me to do an eval for them. My dad told them that wouldn't be a good idea, he gave them the excuse I didn't know her. The real truth is he was afraid I really would have told him off. (His family member didn't get in anyway.)

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