I feel like I'm losing my religion/faith

by christina1111 26 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Perry
    Now I see why people say they don't want to be a part of an organized religion.

    I think vast numbers of Christians today get this.

    Jesus had little good to say about most of religious people he met. He emphasized relationship over religion.

  • never a jw
    never a jw

    Perry: He (Jesus) emphasized relationship over religion

    Yeah, he said "If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters--yes, even their own life--such a person cannot be my disciple". In summary: "screw your family and join my cult"

  • tor1500

    Hi Christina,

    I'm new as well. I noticed the same thing. The difference is that when I got baptized I knew they were going to drop me like a hot potato. I was love bombed as well. Why, because they are recruiters and that's what they do. After you have been brought in...they move on to the next study to love bomb and do the same thing to them. If you are the type of person that has never been loved like this before from anyone, you'll think you've hit the jackpot, yep, this is the place to be.

    The question to ask yourself, do you love Jehovah & Jesus ? If you love to preach the good news then don't stop going out in the ministry. I do understand about the friends....you have to look at it this way, as someone said you got some generous and compassionate folks in the org. but they are few and far between because most of them put on such a front you can't tell. Many of witnesses have no love in their homes may have never modeled love, even if they came from witness homes...they religion was served on a dish with no love. Many witnesses are depressed with some type of mental illness and that's what the org. attracts. Again, I'm not generalizing, but in my short time being a witness, this is my observation.

    If you are looking to be accepted unconditionally, the hall ain't the place, if you are secure within yourself and only need God not the friends, then stay and don't worry about those fair weather friends...As I mentioned before many witness have no idea what love and friendship are. Many on this site says that the org. conditions ones to do this or that, my take is many of the things taught should have been taught from the home. If you have to have an org to show you how to love and treat people, something got lost in ones upbringing...although, the org. does prey on folks who home life is not too stable.

    The elders are just men. They are not trained to do anything but listen and give you scriptures. They are not God nor shrinks, nor policemen, nor marriage counselors or child psychologist....They are not banks. If you need help financially maybe one may help you. The friends put too much stock in the elders, they are just men....they haven't gone through any type of training to help humans, all they got is scriptures and maybe a phone number of where you can get help. Most of the elders can't even run their lives...

    There are other places of worship, you don't have to stay a witness and other places of worship there are wonderful people there. You may want to choose a smaller congregation of a place of worship because you have been used to being in a small congregation and many places of worship folks are coming in, in droves, they are called mega churches...they are other places of worship that are not that big but still big, again, you may not do well there, because you are used to a smaller congregation. In the bigger churches, you will get lost in the sauce and if you are not an outgoing person you will feel that you are not welcomed. That's another reason some witnesses don't like big places of worship because they would not be considered special or stand out...

    Here is a question to ask yourself, why do you go to the hall, for the friends, spirituality and or peace.


  • babygirl30

    Sadly I am guilty of this...love bombing. I was a born in JW, and I remember this young girl in my old cong who was a little younger than me (I was 20, she was about 16). This girl started studying with a Bible thumper in my hall (P.O.s daughter). Got baptized in 6 mos, and had a part IN the assembly the day she got baptized! I mean everyone fell for this girl...and she really liked the attention. LIFE hit, she started missing meetings, but wgen she did come, we all were cold. I smh now in regret...as I too participated ib making this girl feel 'less then'. Eventually she stopped coming at all...and in time, was DFd. I would love to run into her now and apologize, as I was such a cold bitch her the minute she stopped coming to the hall...yet was one of thr first ones smiling in her face, offering her assistance, etc when she was 1st coming to meeting and before she got baptized.

    It is all a TRAP! A sad trap...that newcomers fall into. You never see past thr love and support - until it isnt there anymore.

  • rebel8

    when you're new and NOT BAPTIZED that's when the jws want to invite you to every gathering they have, they want to APPEAR like they're your best friend… It's not just ONE CONGREGATION...throughout the 8 years i've been baptized i've been through many kingdom halls...many towns...many states...when i was inactive for awhile I even pretended to not be baptized and just play dumb when the witnesses came to my door...they're much nicer to you when you're not baptized then when you are baptized...why is that?

    Yes, many others have noticed this too. It is called love bombing.

    I would love to talk to the elders about it, but then they'd either mark me and judge me.


    ..and I'm "thinking" this is a safe place to go to without being judged and ridiculed and marked...

    Yes it is. There are a few jerks here but mostly nice people.

    I don't even feel like going out in the ministry

    You shouldn’t go in the ministry, straight up. There are many reasons for that. Take a total break from it right now while you sort it out. Jehovah is eternity. The ministry will be there if you change your mind. In the meantime, ponder if the religion, in real life, lives up to its claims:

    John 13:35: "By this all will know that YOU are my disciples, if YOU have love among yourselves"

  • Iown Mylife
    Iown Mylife

    Christina, you are a genuinely honest person! and the experience you've described is the same one my husband and I had when we first began attending meetings.

    Towards the end of our time in the jw's, i had become inactive (my husband had been inactive for years), and when urged to come out in service because that would "fix" me - I said "HOW can i in good conscience go out and invite people into this religion that has treated me badly and makes me so miserable? Just WHAT am I inviting them TO???"

    I was going to book study (i quit doing that just shortly before they discontinued it) and I realized the elders were so concerned about numbers, hours of service and counting attendance, - and not at all concerned with the "flock" itself - unless they were well to do. Why waste time on someone who can't possibly contribute impressively?

    There's no truth in their truth. It's a crock and a den of hypocrisy. I hope you can shake a loose of that sorry outfit.

  • AllTimeJeff

    I don't like to refer to my past too much, but in this case, I will.

    I was in Gilead class 119. Born in. Lost my family I loved while I was in, then, when I discovered as an elder that what was taught and how people were treated didn't match up, I was shunned. I left of my own accord. I wasn't kicked out. I decided to start anew based on what I saw and what I learned....

    I have no agenda. It's been 10 years. Your decisions are your own. Having said that, I absolutely empathize with what you are seeing right now. The decisions are never just logical, they are also emotional, and they do cover all things spiritual.

    Towards the end, after Gilead and when I came back from Cameroon, I would go knock on a door, and when it seemed appropriate, I would ask the householder what they thought. And I just listened. It was refreshing. I thanked them for sharing.

    My one thought for you is that whatever reasons you see and you think are good enough. JW's are conditioned to look for "the truth". Maybe you're looking for a reason, someone else's reason, and maybe that is your thing. If your thing is to do it your way, that is just as valid. When I talked with people at their doors before I left, I was impressed with how developed most people's "think for yourself" muscle was compared to mine. 10 years later, my own thoughts, what I am, is the only truly unique thing I can offer the world. It's the only thing any of us can offer.

    JW's unwittingly (or wittingly) took away your ability to feel good about being yourself. Think about that. You are an individual. Except to JW's. Whatever your first name was, they replaced it with "Sister"...

    Be you. Feel good. That doesn't mean to do whatever you want, but deep down, you already know your own mind and who you are. Explore that. Being you and finding you is much more important a pursuit than figuring out why JW's are the way they are.... IMO

  • Perry
    He said "If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters--yes, even their own life--such a person cannot be my disciple".

    Jesus also demonstrated things like, that there were in reality only two laws: Love God and Love your Neighbor as Yourself. He also said his yoke was easy and his load was light - unlike other pursuits.

    Man-Centered religion & ideologies on the other hand, (including and maybe especially bible cults) are deeply works based. They bind up heavy loads on adherents that they themselves are unwilling to bear.

    The scripture you cited has special meaning for me. I left the Watchtower willingly, but I was unwilling for years to stand up to my family and state to them my desire to be a Christian apart from the Watchtower.

    Until I did that, they just viewed me as "weak". The funny thing is, they were right. Jesus words, are incredibly liberating.

  • never a jw
    never a jw

    Jesus also demonstrated things like, that there were in reality only two laws: Love God and Love your Neighbor as Yourself. He also said his yoke was easy and his load was light - unlike other pursuits.

    Jesus said lots of good things and plenty of bad stuff that you and I don't practice, such what I quoted before. What I find amazing Perry is that 2 billion people believe that the Bible is the inerrant infallible word of God. That conclusion can only be reached by blind faith and complete ignorance of the history of Judaism, Christianity and the Bible itself.

  • smiddy

    Welcome christina 1111 glad to have you on board.As other posters have said love bombing is rife to new converts only for the realisation to set in after they have been baptised that it doesnt last.

    What you need to do is ask yourself what attracted you to the religion in the first place doctrinally and now investigate those claims made by JW`s.

    The site JWfacts is excellent in this regard.being non bitter about JW`s just stating facts.

    One or two points I will make .

    The first edition of the" Aid" book under Jehovah states that it doesnt matter if it is not the correct pronunciation of Gods name just so long as we use the commonly accepted version .? WTF?

    Also their KI word for word translation of the Christian Greek Scriptures does not contain the name Jehovah or any equivalent name for God nor does it contain the tetragrammaton the four hebrew letters representing Gods name nor any equivalent greek letters that would refer to his name.

    A third point if I may , in John 1:1 "In the beginning was the word and the word was with God and the word was God" thats what the KI word for word translation of the Christian Greek Scriptures published by the WTB&TS says. It does not say "a" god

    take care

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