Unfaithful spouse

by Worstfear 23 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Anna Marina

  Our one-time CoBE worked with lawyers doing family law. I don't know if he was involved in actual divorce work but another sister said he was. Be that as it may...

  Long-term adultery took place in my ex-cong. Who do you think got thrown under the bus? The adulterer or the innocent party?

  I watched the innocent party have a melt down in the KH as the CoBE said 'it's only your wife, it's only your wife.' He was telling the brother to stop making such a fuss.

  So the brother, who had been in jail in the 70s for the sake of neutrality left the 'truth'. Maybe he had a complete mental breakdown. I don't know I was still a relative newbie at the time and knew little.

  But telling the elders about adultery does not necessarily result in trouble for the adulterer.
  

  Sorry to hear of your situation Worstfear. Must be unbearable for you. Take one day at a time. I find helping others is a great comfort, it keeps you busy and you find new friends. It is nice to see them smile and for you to find out that you mean a lot to others.

  (Acts 20:35) . . .I have exhibited to you in all things that by thus laboring you must assist those who are weak, and must bear in mind the words of the Lord Jesus, when he himself said, ‘There is more happiness in giving than there is in receiving.’”

  
  
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  TD

  Do you just "file for divorce the next day", as if you might wake up and get a coffee?
  

  ^^^This^^^

  She had been planning on leaving for awhile
  
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  Diogenesister

  But telling the elders about adultery does not necessarily result in trouble for the adulterer.

  ^^^ This.

  In my experience it's the partner who has the best "back up" who wins (ie most influential family).

  Make sure, whatever you do, it reflects well on you. Because when you do fall in love again, you don't want to scare her off by being vengeful. You're better off without her if she behaved like that. Get therapy I'd highly recommend it, too, to help deal with the pain and anger.
  
  
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  Etude

  I say, fulfill her worst expectation and TELL THE ELDERS! I can't conceive that she could possibly claim that as harassment. Play the religious card. Bring out the fact that she's the egregious one by fucking another guy. She can ignore the consequences of a judicial summoning, but her reputation will be well deserved. Was the separation formal (done via the courts)? If not, you have a lot of wiggle room to walk in the house and take what you want. Preferably, I would have kicked her ass out and go live with the other guy. There are always two sides to a story. But from what you relate, it's apparent she has no regard for you. Show none for her.