Our one-time CoBE worked with lawyers doing family law. I don't know if he was involved in actual divorce work but another sister said he was. Be that as it may...
Long-term adultery took place in my ex-cong. Who do you think got thrown under the bus? The adulterer or the innocent party?
I watched the innocent party have a melt down in the KH as the CoBE said 'it's only your wife, it's only your wife.' He was telling the brother to stop making such a fuss.
So the brother, who had been in jail in the 70s for the sake of neutrality left the 'truth'. Maybe he had a complete mental breakdown. I don't know I was still a relative newbie at the time and knew little.
But telling the elders about adultery does not necessarily result in trouble for the adulterer.
Sorry to hear of your situation Worstfear. Must be unbearable for you. Take one day at a time. I find helping others is a great comfort, it keeps you busy and you find new friends. It is nice to see them smile and for you to find out that you mean a lot to others.
(Acts 20:35) . . .I have exhibited to you in all things that by thus laboring you must assist those who are weak, and must bear in mind the words of the Lord Jesus, when he himself said, ‘There is more happiness in giving than there is in receiving.’”