I disassociated and the relief was amazing. I disagree that it gives them power. They already have power, and faders have to put up with far more bullshit to play their game than those of us that put a bullet in it by disassociating.
That doesn't mean that YOU should do it. I would certainly recommend counseling and stop attending meetings or reading their literature immediately. If you can't handle that step, you're not ready to disassociate. You think they look down on people that miss meetings, lol. Get some space so that you can make decisions with a clearer head.
Disassociating shouldn't be a rash decision. You can't unring that bell once you do it. It is a tool though, one that can put an end to the nightmare. I was discouraged by many ex-JWs for considering it, and disassociating was the best decision I've ever made. My wife did the same and feels the same. You have to be prepared for the losses though. We'll never see our family again or our JW friends. It was still extremely hard to do when we did it, but in retrospect we were as ready as we could be. There's no time where it just feels 100% easy. I just know it was worth it.