I was shunned today for the first time!

by be wise 11 Replies latest jw experiences

  • be wise
    be wise

    I have just been reminded of the sad, sad world that I feel so sorry Jehovah’s Witnesses feel they have to live in, day in, day out.

    I saw an Elder where I was working and I was in rather a good mood joking and chatting with work mates and the Elder caught my eye so I smiled at him and said hello naturally as I would do anyone I used to know and hadn’t seen for a while.

    His response: - Gives me a sore look and then totally ignores me.

    What a sad man!

    I am not DF’d or DA’d (not that this is a worthy excuse) all he knows is that I don’t choose to be apart of his religion anymore because I've let it known to extended family how I feel (not from a WTS bashing way, just from a personal -how it made me feel way).

    At first I found it rather funny (like a childish slap in the face), it took me by surprise! Then it pissed me off for a very short while (because that’s just plain ignorant behaviour) and then walking home from work I was thinking about it and I just felt sad for him and the small little world he lives in.

    Poor man, you could see the self-righteousness in him straight away, his whole persona and his suit.

    Glad of the whole experience really. I’m never subject to the witnesses anymore other than my mum and dad. What a kindly reminder to show me what I am not missing.


  • DJ

    (((((((((be wise)))))))))))

    Welcome to the walking wounded by shunning... you are right to feel sorry for him, he is miserable inside and you paid for it.

  • bluesapphire


    I remember the first time my sister shunned me. I went up and hugged her and tried to kiss her cheek the way we had always done from the day she was born. She pushed me away and turned her face.

    I stifled the tears and whispered in her ear that I loved her. What else could I do?

  • berylblue

    Sorry I feel for you

  • jgnat

    bluesapphire, that was so sad and beautiful at the same time. When I was in my twenties, I did not speak to my dad for two years. Nevermind how I happened, I understand his reasons now, and I have forgiven him. One Christmas (about a year in to the shunning) he drove me home in silence. Just at the door he surprised me and gathered me in to a big bear hug. Then he let me go. His eyes were so sad. I did not say anything at the time, but believe you me, I never forgot that hug.

    I am so glad I have my dad restored to me.

    I hope the kindnesses you guys show in the face of such cruelty stab deep in to the hearts of the shunners. I bet they never forget.

  • Brummie

    jgnat, havent seen you around for a while, glad to see you back posting...perhaps you were there and I just didnt see you.

    be wise, sorry you had to be on the recieving end of that

    What a kindly reminder to show me what I am not missing.

    too true!


  • be wise
    be wise

    Bluesapphire, sorry to hear of your sister treating you like that, it really saddens me for more than one reason.

    You’re in good company here and so are all of us!

    My brother gets treated in the same way by his sister. Personally, I’ve never experienced it from someone I love, like family. I do really feel for you. My heart is on your side.

    The thing is, my DF’d brother is still very torn by the whole judish thing and the way it has effected him, (He’s the kind of guy that pretends that nothing affects him but he’s really quite sensitive).

    I mean we are friends now(no JW stuff to get in the way anymore) but when I ring him he always say’s thanks for ringing or when I get chance to get up and see him, he always says thanks for coming up – I’m the only real family he ‘s got really and that saddens me! Deep down that must hurt.

    What the WTS actually is responsible for, baffles me, it’s unbelievable what they are getting away with.

    I hope the kindnesses you guys show in the face of such cruelty stab deep in to the hearts of the shunners. I bet they never forget.

    I was told by an elder to shun my brother when he was DF’d when I was young …I listened. I never will forget the way I treated him (or didn’t treat him.) I get tears in my eyes and my heart aches when I just think about it just for a moment --JW's, take this advice wisely!--

  • Maverick

    You can turn this around if you wish. When I see the 'friends' I ambush them. I will come around a corner and say, real loud, "How are you, good to see you!" They always say something back, it is natural to do that. Then they get flustered and sulk away because they know I got them! Others who see it always ask me what their 'problem' was. Then I tell them about the shunning. Most people know nothing about it and they tend to think the J-duds are stupid. Maverick

  • bluesapphire

    Yeah Maverick, I do that too sometimes -- now. But in my sister's eyes it makes me look more evil and only justifies her.

    Funny thing is that ever since I had my baby she makes eye contact with me. My husband said he doesn't want the baby to know her at all. He wont allow her to see the baby or anything. He says, "She would never let you see or hold her babies. Why should she get to see ours?"

    But when we go to my dad's house (she lives there too) I always give the baby to my mom so she can take him to my sister so she can see him and hold him. I know she would never allow that with her babies when they come. But I want to take the high road with her. She's just such a "tontita" that I really don't think she knows what she's doing.

    Maybe as someone else said, it hurts her more when I'm nice.

  • Dansk

    That's amazing, so was I : http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/51636/1.ashx


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