Has waking up ever made you physically ill?
Has waking up ever made you physically ill? Perhaps because of the emotional strain etc..?
If if so what were / are the symptoms?
What did you do to get better?
I had a resection of my small intestine six years ago and for the first four years, right at the time of my waking up I would feel very ill, an intense urge to run to the bathroom. It would be about five or six hours and four visits to the john before the feeling was gone, until next morning. Then the cycle would start again.
What do I do to get better? Eat bland, boring food. Forget Chinese or Mexican, those are recipes for disaster.
Don't believe your surgeon if he tells you that you will be fine after having three feet of your intestine removed. You won't.
I love going to bed, either after the reading of a book, or watching an old T.V western show on you-tube with my son. I think if my life is more complicated, more stressful the problem could be not being able to sleep, which could make me "physically ill when I awake. However I had enough of those sleepless nights when I left the W.T, and I am never going back their.
I am lucky when I awake I have my wife next to me, but I have noticed her world seems a little stressful. I call it unnecessary doing too much, " Charity work, Bussiness goals, and too many friends" keep life simple.
Quite the opposite actually. I've never been so healthy, happy and friendly in all my life since leaving.
Afraid when I first began to realize The TATT.
Sick and angry when I finally grasped the scope of the pedophile problem.
Based on the observations of at least 4 doctors, it has.
Around February of 2016 I began feeling a bit dizzy. Not nauseous but rather unstable. One weekend it went over the top and so I went to the ER. My blood pressure was 170/110. ER Doc gave me a pill to lower it and sent me home. He did assume that I was going to be in the pill for the rest of my life. Went to family doctor and got labs. All labs were in check (No cholesterol or anything) I am only 38 and up until that point I had been working out 3-4 times a week for the past 4 years. Blood pressure was 108/78. He was reluctant to give me an official diagnoses of hypertension since I told him I had been under quite a bit of stress, both at work and at home. He insisted I needed to calm down but I told him it was difficult to do so because I had started feeling a sensation in my chest, similar to what you feel when you are utterly scared or are watching a very suspenseful movie. He said it was all in my head and suggested I could go get a stress test. He also suggested therapy. Therapist was aware of my situation (TTATT) since I had seen him before. He too said that it all looked like it was just panic attacks as he had experienced them in the past himself. He is a professor of psychology at a local university and he recently asked his students if anyone had ever had a panic attack, to what most replied NO. He told them that was too bad because they will confront the conditions in their career and it will be hard for them to relate.
I went to get a stress test. The cardiologist was supposed to give me another appointment to discuss the results. Upon stepping off the machine he said the results were so normal he did not want to waste my time with another appointment. At a follow up appointment my family doctor insisted that it was all in my head. He gave me Xanax which helped quite a bit. Since I told him the dizziness was not going away, he sent me to get an MRI. All clear as well. While I trusted his diagnosis of the tests, his tone of dismissal about what seemed very real sensations did not provide me much confidence. (besides, the DR is a JW as well). I ended up with a great doctor who actually takes the time to listen and does a whole lifestyle evaluation, including potential emotional issues. Since he is not a JW I was able to discuss these things with him. Fortunately, he had a grandmother who went thru similar issues and had a fall out with the cult so he understood. He too believed it was mostly stress and anxiety but did not want to dismiss my feelings so he did and EKG and put me in a monitor for 3 days. All clear as well. Labs as well all clear. He gave me a beta blocker, which is supposed to work better than Xanax and is not addictive (plus I can drink :) ). I tried to use alternative methods like meditation and natural relaxers like Valerian root. (besides things were getting better so I figure why take medication).
Long story short, here I am almost a year later, I am still "recovering". Bellow is a short lists of some of the things that I physically felt. Sometimes I feel a little doubtful as to what is the source of it and wether it is one of those conditions that are hard to properly diagnose. But I figure that if it hasn't kill me yet, then is probably going to be ok. If it helps others avoid such lengthy recovery, then I will feel good about it.
-Early, like for the first 4 months or so, on I felt dizzy/unstable. Would ask for assistance if I had to climb a lather when before I could balance myself.
- A sensation on the center of the chest as if I was watching a scary or suspenseful movie (remember feeling very much this way when I watched "The hurt locker"). Never the less, it was never chest pain.
- A sensation of impending doom which I could not explain. In the worst days it felt like any second my heart was going to burst
- An unexplainable feeling of sadness to the point where I wanted to cry for no reason whatsoever.
- Every now and then, and now in hindsight I can say that this happened specially when around a JW, the dizziness would come all of a sudden accompanied with a cold sweat and a buzzy feeling in my head.
- A fear of going to sleep without feeling that my wife was there. Had to feel her presence in order to fall asleep.
- Later on, as much of the above started dissipating, I would wake up in the middle of the night with this fearful sensation, like if something was about to happen. After about half hour it would go away and I would fall back asleep.
- For whatever reason I started to feel like my prostate would contract and release several time during urination, so I would pee in sort of interrupted streams. That too went away eventually
- I would also shake uncontrollably when having an orgasm, which made sex a bit difficult and scary.
At this point, I am left with what feels like a cough is stuck in my throat but won't come out. Every now and then I still feel this what can be described as a sudden fear but sometimes it is accompanied by this weird sensation in my chest as if my heart was pushing against the wind pipe pushing air out. I had a septoplasty (deviated septum) surgery last week and had to be tested prior to surgery. EKG, labs and chest X-rays were all normal.
Oh, you mean waking up to the WTS lies...I thought you meant in general. I find not waking up is more detrimental, physically or not.
Thanks for your replies so far...
Yes I mean waking up to TTATT.
Its such a struggle when you know it's all wrong but you have to keep up appearances (for now) because of family etc.. :(
...it all looked like it was just panic attacks as he had experienced them in the past himself.
Me too and I also felt those panic attacks in my chest. I felt them when I was in field service.
The most shocking part, which eventually causes the stress that leads to illness, is the coming to realization that the people you love the most are the first ones to doubt you. The more you understand about brainwashing, the more obvious it becomes that they are not themselves and you can hardly hold them accountable. Which leads to a greater feeling of your family being victimized by these assholes. Being able to reason thru all of these breaks the defense mechanism of cognitive dissonance which would protected you from emotional stress.