I’m so sad . . .

by HappyBlessedFree 18 Replies latest jw experiences

  • HappyBlessedFree

    So my husband asked me if I’m going to the memorial. I said “No”.

    He asked would it be okay if I take the kids. “I would prefer that you didn’t”.

    Why can’t he see the lies! I wish a I had said “How can you follow a false prophet. How can you want to take your children to a place that doesn’t protect them. How can you want to be part of a religion that claims political neutrality but was part of the UN secretly for 9 years. “

    Why, why, why!!!!!!!

    After he left for work my little one came up to me and said Mommy why are you crying. I said because I just wish people could see truth.

    Just need to vent.

  • Pete Zahut
    Pete Zahut

    The thing I found that works the best is to get your spouse to see the inaccuracies of the beliefs one at a time and then it will have less and less of a hold on them. Ask him to help refresh your memory on the beliefs by asking simple non judgmental questions and let him answer without judgement or argument. Let him see things for himself without having to be on the defensive.

    Since it's the Memorial you could say:

    You: I've forgotten a lot of the details of who eats of the bread and the wine, such as where the number 144,000 comes into play.

    Him: There will be 144,000 who are chosen to rule with Christ in heaven Revelation 7:4. 12,000 from each of the twelve tribes of Israel.

    You: Are they literally from the 12 tribes?

    Him: No that's symbolic

    You: Ok so they're not literally from the tribes of Israel but does that mean that the number 144,000 is symbolic too?

    Him: No, that's literal

    You: So one part of the scripture is literal and another part is symbolic? How do we know that for sure?

    Him: That's what the faithful and discrete salve says is the understanding.

    You: Are some of the 144,000 who partake of the bread and wine at the memorial, women?

    Him: Yes

    You: So the women who partake of the emblems don't teach or have any position in the Congregation now, but they'll be ruling with Christ in heaven and judging mankind.

    Him: Yes

    You: Yeah....ok...it's convoluted but it's starting to come back to me....I guess I was never sure about how I could prove anything like that to anyone who wasn't already a JW.

  • HappyBlessedFree

    I love that Pete! (By the way your logo is so cool, lol)

    I don’t know if he would believe that I don’t remember who eats the bread and wine but it’s such A great point I will find a way to discuss it with him. Thank you!

  • UnshackleTheChains

    Totally understand. I'm in the same predicament with my wife. I've gone through everything with her, but her social circle is too big within the Borg. So she and my daughter still attend. Best not to pressure your husband as you will only get frustrated. It's very hard to move on. It impact families the world over

  • Anders Andersen
    Anders Andersen

    You must feel quite frustrated and anxious, trying to keep you child from being dragged into the cult while your husband wants to drag them in.

    I'm in a similar situation, although I'm lucky enough to be the husband, and so far I managed to have my wife (reluctantly) agree to stop bringing our young child you meetings.

    It may be tempting to try and make your husband see the light...but that may or may not happen. More important is to make him stop dragging your children into the cult.

    Here's the 'script' that I followed:

    • First come to an agreement that children (in general) should make up their own mind on religion, and not be forced to worship as their parents do.
    • Then make it more specific: this applies to your children and JWism too, right? Or are JW children forced to become JW?
    • Once the stage is set for that, come back to your husband's request to bring the children to the memorial. There is only one important question: why should your children have to be there or in any other JW meeting?
    • Your husband has limited options to reply: because the Bible says so, or to save their lives, or because they need to learn about the memorial, pay respect to Jehovah and Jesus etc.
    • Again: why would children (especially young children) need to do any of that? Would they understand what's going on there? If not, they needn't be there. If so, he might just as well explain the proceedings to them at home.
    • If they are brought to JW meetings, would he agree to let you bring them to Easter mass in some other church too? After all, you agreed your children should be able to choose for themselves, so if they attend one church (JW) they should know about the others too.

    I managed to stay out of any doctrinal discussions. While discussing this topic, I didn't make any claims about JW being not true. I simply stuck to

    • what they tell at JW meetings isn't suitable for young children (murder, immorality, war, execution, incest) to hear
    • if the child is too young to understand there is no use in bringing them
    • if the child is older, it's basically unfair to them to bring them to the KH without showing them other church meetings at least just as often.

    Perhaps you can use any of this l. It depends a bit on how out you are, and how old your children are. But I suspect this route is faster than trying to get your husband out. You can still do that afterwards....

  • The Fall Guy
    The Fall Guy

    HBF - your husband will only need a "kick start" to get his motor running. When that happens, get ready for a roller-coaster ride of discovery & discussions.

    Ask him why the hierarchy also got into bed with the Organization for Security and Cooperation in Europe. (OSCE)

    It's like the European political/military subsidiary of the U.N.. Ask him to Google it.

    My JW sister was visibly shaken when I told her I'd got an admission via a 'phone call to UK Bethel. Couldn't handle the truth!

  • Finkelstein

    The JWS memorial is just a mis-interpretation of the 144,000 anointed ones.

    By Scripture all dedicated followers of Jesus Christ who are baptized in his name are to partake.

    Its just another screw up by the leaders of the WTS , there are many to be sure.

  • Tenacious

    Oh boy. I know your pain, I feel your pain.

    What works best is to attack the credibility of the leaders/organization. You have to make them appear for what they are charlatans and con men. But naturally, you can't just flat out say they are. You have to covertly chip away at their credibility.

    One thing I can suggest that may spark his curiosity is this; ask him why would the leaders eliminate the very teachings Jesus Christ approved of back in 1919 when he came to inspect and select them as the only true practicing religion at that time here on earth. Did Jesus Christ make a mistake?

  • Betheliesalot

    I usually bring up the catholics, because they all agree that is the true babalon and then say something like , it would sure be a better run organization if there were women running it. And then bring up the priests and pedifiles they hide and then swerve into the governing body and say the same thing, that this organization would run a whole lot better if women were running it, etc etc etc. BTY great idea about women in the 144,000, never used that one yet.

  • eyeuse2badub

    Does it really matter that much to you? Humor the old man!

    just saying!

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