When Friendship turns to Hatred (page 4)

Billygoat

Elsewhere...what was the point in you bringing this up like this. I'm not trying to minimize your feelings on that whole situation, but you know that addressing it HERE of all places was not going to accomplish anything positive.

Valis...come on you guys. We all have our differences and faults. Can we at least CONSIDER kissing and making up over this one? It's taking more energy from both of you to continue the anger than if you'd just apologize and move on.

I hate seeing my friends like this...

Valis

crink..its a long story, but what you fail to realize is that I am probably more blunt and honest that Elsewhere prefers...As well, he lives near and has been welcome in my home many times...this makes all the difference where it becomes much more personal than just via Internet. Surely you can see this. I asked him to apologize properly in the forum or come and see me and get my two cents, or earfull, or a piece of my mind, or however I said it. That was the only way I could let him hang out and me not just be pissed at him all the time..He declined. It takes guts to grow up sometimes, even for X dubbies, but he lacks the fortitude to even try. . Believe what you want,but go and dig through the old threads and make up your own mind...he is proven to be the one who doth protest too much indeed...

Sincerely,

District Overbeer

outnfree

Elsewhere,

I cannot believe you brought this up again here. But as to your remarks

He felt as though I had to satisfy him before the matter was closed. As if he was the guardian of the people.

I personally, can understand why Valis, who was the point man for the entire Dallas Apostofest, might feel as though he were responsible to extract an apology from you when you basically maligned the entire event with your ill-considered post here. I was highly insulted by it, and never received an apology other than the backhanded one offered here. I was willing to let sleeping dogs lie, but here you go opening old wounds. I'm sorry you're still hurt by an experience you brought on yourself, but now I'm just p.o.'d all over again. Sheesh!

outnfree

Billygoat

Travis,

Maybe you just need to give David one of your famous titty-twisters. I hear they give people a new perspective. LOL!

Andi

xenawarrior

Elsewhere, you have alot of nerve. I too am wondering why you are bringing this up again?

The fact is that you got your feelings hurt and instead of dealing with that like a man you decided to post a bunch of crap on this board about the fest and present things in a light which was so totally off base it's ridiculous.

You made it appear that things were so uncomfortable for you at the fest - though pictures of you having a good time proved otherwise and you were engaging in activities that you have done so many times before -freely and with enjoyment. You talked about things happening as though you are such a pure and innocent and "mild" person who was so offended by it all when your posts on this board clearly show a different person before and after your alllegations of such awful things you were subjected to.

And your portrayal of the fest itself and the attendees offended many people and just plain pissed people off- me included. You felt the heat of that and offered a very very lame attempt at an apology and I'm sorry but it wasn't really an apology at all from my viewpoint.

And now you have the audacity to bring this up again and say things like this:

I made a mistake and someone I thought was a friend responded with utter brutality and viciousness. Even after I apologized to everyone publicly and spent a great deal of time and energy apologizing to others privately, he was not satisfied. He felt as though I had to satisfy him before the matter was closed. As if he was the guardian of the people. As if I was some how subject to him. He demanded that I appear before him in person so he could give me even more “lumps”, even trying to lure me with words like “love” and “brother” which were immediately followed by threats.

"utter brutality and viciousness"??? Could you think of some more powerful words to use for your "story" here?

You "spent a great deal of time and energy apologizing to others privately" ??? Sorry, but I was one of the people who was directly subjected to your assinine and childish behavior that weekend and I received NO private apology from you.

In an attempt to coerce me he also spread lies, rumors and half-truths trying to cause as much harm as he possible could, not only to me, but others.

Nice try Elsewhere- first of all, how could someone "coerce" you to do anything in this manner? This is the most ridiculous statement you've made here and you know that what you are saying here is totally untrue.

Grow up Elsewhere- you got your feelings hurt- deal with it and move on and quit trying to make others responsible for your life and your own unhappiness.

XW

Elsewhere

I brought it up because this is what the thread is about.

Regarding acceptance of my apologies, the vast majority graciously accepted. Others did not say... so I don't know their feelings.

For those still hurt, I continue to offer my apologies.

xenawarrior

Elsewhere

I brought it up because this is what the thread is about.
Regarding acceptance of my apologies, the vast majority graciously accepted. Others did not say... so I don't know their feelings.
For those still hurt, I continue to offer my apologies.

No, this isn't what this is- if your friendship has turned to hatred it's your own. This is more about you trying to make yourself a victim on this board to folks who don't know what happened. "Big Bad Valis was brutalizing me" PULEASE!!! What a bunch of BS !!! Poor Elsewhere !!! You said you "made a mistake". Thing is, you never rectified that mistake by saying it was a mistake on your part and that the things you had said were misrepresented and the impression you gave others of the fest attendees was not correct. Instead you left things as they were and offered some lame excuse about your behavior. You didn't rectify a thing. And BTW- It's hard to accept an apology - graciously or otherwise when I never received one. This all started with you trying to give the people on this board the wrong impression of how things happened and now you are back doing the very same thing once again. You are simply not being honest here and your attempts to discredit Travis are really low, Elsewhere. XW

rocketman

I haven't had any good friends turn their friendship into hatred, but now that I am inactive, I'm sort of waiting for that to happen.

There have been a few jws that treated my family poorly, but I never really considered them friends to begin with.

Big Tex

Elsewhere

There was no need to bring this up again. You had to realize it was only going to stir things up. Now that you have, either let it go or make your peace with the people you hurt.

Valis has been brutally honest, but he has not been brutal. Subtle but important difference. I also think he has been very open and truthful about the Dallas apostafest. Reading through this thread I see that some newbies already have the wrong impression of Valis. That's a shame. The first apostafest Nina and I went to we were very nervous and we had agreed to only stay a few minutes and then go out for a quiet dinner alone. When we walked into the restaurant we were greeted by a tall lanky dude with dreadlocks who gave me a big bear hug and delighted in introducing us to everyone. I owe him a lot for making us feel welcome that first time. He didn't have to do that. I'm saddened that some folks have gotten the wrong impression of him.

Is Valis someone who would get in your face? Oh yeah. But personally I like being around people will tell me if they've got a problem with me and I can do likewise with them. I also know that he is one person who will stick by his friends even in the worst of times. Those kind of friends are hard to find and are very valuable. Valis is a good guy. He's also in the right on this one.

Trotafox

Just call me the sacricial lamb!

Yep....My JW friend of 26 years dissolved a friendship in 10 mins on the phone. She's still a loyal Dub and I could care less if I ever see her again. I'm angry at her...very angry.

She of all people knew that when there was a problem to solve or something just didn't sound or look right, I was the one who turned bloodhound until I got to the root of the problem. For 26 years, she told everyone that I was like "a puppy with a root" until I found an answer. She was the one who never had the time to research anything. You would think that knowing how I was about things that maybe, just maybe, I had discovered something about the Watchtower that she should know.

On the day of my last phone call to her before I DA'd, she told me that she "didn't have the time or the inclination to try to prove the Watchtower wrong and that I was only looking for an excuse to leave. I really never had the time to study like she did (huh?) and, therefore I was having doubts ( that info was straight out the latest Watchtower rag at the time by the way). " All I got out in that telephone conversation is that (1) they are lying to her, (2) there are things that she needs to know about the Watchtower that the Watchtower keeps hidden from the congregation (3) they definitely were not God's organization, (4) that an organization is not required to have a relationship with God, (5) they were false prophets (to which she replied that at least the Organization admits to their mistakes...give me a break).

I'm sure she is quite proud of herself sticking by what she calls Jehovah's organization. She's one emotionally sick, fearful, weak, co-dependent puppy and I really feel sorry for her. If she wants to live her life within the Watchtower parameters, then fine. I can't wait for the day when she retires from secular work and the Watchtower tells her she can't go traveling around the countryside in her travel trailer like they plan to do because it will take her away from regular meetings and field service. That should go over big with the non-JW hubby (who is shunning me also). But knowing her and her obsession with being the "perfect JW", she'll figure out a way to do both. She has always enjoyed both sides of the fence since her hubby is a non-JW. She also attends a Kingdom Hall in a very wealthy territory (in another state) that is not as strict as the Kingdom Halls I attended. She is able to do things that my Kingdom Hall frowned upon. So she has the best of both worlds. She can be a JW, have a lot more freedom than some other JW's, and enjoy all the materialistic trappings her husband can provide without raising an elder eyebrow! Nice job if you can get it.

The friend I had disappeared within the bowels of the Watchtower. May it rot in hell for the damage it has done.

Trot

When Friendship turns to Hatred

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