Wanting Less Involvement (long newbie story)

by DepthsResounding 33 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Dreamerdude

    It is good you are calmly looking at all the options. Please continue to be calm and cautious. Perhaps you can glean bits and pieces of advice hear that will help you on your journey to freedom.

  • JWdaughter

    I think that whether you marry or not, getting out of FT service will free

    you. You don't need an excuse.

  • OnTheWayOut

    Wonderful of you to share. I wish you well. As far as slow exits, many do them. With immediate family already inactive, you might find it not so bad to make a bit faster progress. At least get off that pioneer list ASAP and start working more on a paying job.

    The ex-JW, non-JW dating dilema is a problem for many. Some spend time with other ex-JW's to vent and bring their non-JW spouse along to learn.

    We would love it if you keep us updated.

  • millie210

    Just want to say hi and welcome to the forum.

    Lots of sincere people here who really want to see you have a successful fade and a good life.

    We are here for you!

  • flipper

    Just wanted to bump up this newer members introduction thread in case any one missed it

  • LevelThePlayingField

    There is a lot of good advice here. You may find some of it harsh, but you will realize that facts sometimes come in those packages. You'll get used to it, and even welcome it.

    Yes, there is so much that you could be doing if you worked a good paying full time job. If you were to get your own place then I think you will have more room to think things clearly. And with a decent income you could save money and think of other plans.

  • LongHairGal


    A lot of good advice here. You sound like you have a lot going for you...I'd get off the pioneer list if I were you and get full time work in your field.

    Say nothing to the JWs about getting full time work and cut back on meetings. The more you are there, the more you'll get the third-degree....Witnesses are pushing poverty for single women and they hate intelligent women with a career. You're going to get flak about this so you better develop armor plating. I know you want your parents to be proud and this is a dilemma..The less you say the better. You may have to ignore nosy phone calls.

    Also, unless you're in love and absolutely TRUST a guy, don't marry him...Otherwise you're going to be miserable.

  • out4good4
    Also, unless you're in love and absolutely TRUST a guy, don't marry him...Otherwise you're going to be miserable.

    I sue hope her decision is a little more involved than that.....

  • LongHairGal


    Yeah, you have a point there and I'm sure there's more involved in this situation... I think it would be a bad idea to get involved with a JW (even an inactive one) unless you know he's looking to get out, but that's just my opinion.

    I was speaking in generalities and even though it's a cliche, many women ignore their inner voice. Trust is a big thing in my book.

  • stillin

    Depths, I appreciate your astute and honest self-evaluation! I don't think anybody here is being "condescending." The thing is that you have had more time to think about your personal situation than anybody else, so some of the advice is sounding re-hashed, but it is all well-meant and solid food for thought. The biggest trap may be spending too much time looking in the mirror. What I mean is that there are good people out there in "the world." But Witnesses are so self-involved, thinking about their image, their spirituality, their own lives, that they miss out on really seeing other people. (Not just Witnesses, it's pretty universal, but the Witnesses have it down to a science.)

    I hope you can have some fun soon and work out your dilemma. You sound like a person worth knowing.

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