How come I didn't see it for 4-5 years? Not sure I had to ask that question myself, we didn't live together and many times when I would confront him about his behavior his responses was "I don't express myself a lot, I have a difficulty expressing emotions", many times he will say hurtful things and then come back and apologize, then he said he had his guard up because he was afraid I would break up with him, so I think I confused normal relationship problems with the lack of social, empathy, and emotional bonding.... I went on a tropical trip with a good friend of mine 3 years ago, female friend, and he was very upset but at that point I was prepared to break everything off because of the lack of emotional connection/bonding. I went on my trip had fun and I didn't call him or even considered contacting him during and after my trip... after my trip i was ready to be moving on with my life and carry on... He was the one who contacted me and said he really loves me and can't imagine his life with out me he doesn't want to be with no other woman, so I cave in, he drew me back in.... I think the reason why he can't find a job is because once he is interview they notice something off and I think him having Aspergers makes things worse for him to find a stable job.
LisaRose: yes he knows exactly how important it is and i would think for him tooo, its our 1st year...but with aspies it seems they can't grasp the importance of many meaningful events or situations, in their mind they don't see It that special or don't see the purpose of it . They don't discuss feeling because in their mind "you should know how I feel about you, I wouldn't be with you if I didn't feel anything" ...I wanted to do something special at the date of our marriage just leading up to the first year, like 6 months, and he said "why do people do that'? I said "I want to do that, its important to me" and he says "oh, but shouldn't we just wait until the year"? I give up. He didn't get the part "its important to me"... frustrating explaining everything step by step.... When I do tell him about somethings that bother me he tends to forget, many times I feel he is molding our relationship to his way only. When I tell him what I like in the bedroom or something he says I am complaining so I asked him okay what is the difference of complaining and saying things without complaining and still conveying what I like, to tell me so I can do it right so it doesn't come across like complaining. He replies "oh I guess there isn't" so I continued to express to him what's important to me and he was quick to tell me "there you go again complaining" I asked tell me the difference give me examples, he didn't say anything just to stop complaining, after which I just gave up.
JWDuaghter: Yes it's knifes in your body each time, it kills me and very rejected I feel... it's hard to understand how can a man just reject you like that but to them it's not rejection... there was this friend of mine, who i never said anything too about my problems, threw himself at me, he knows I am married and i was shocked by his advances, I stood my ground and cut ties with him.... You get men coming at you and the you have at home doesn't even realize the threat they put you in. Of course I rather terminate any relationship before I even dare to do anything.... Exactly that is what crosses my mind, is he over me, is he bored, does he even think of me in a sexual way... I work out so appearance is not an issue...
