Waking Them Up When They Feel Safe

KerryKing

Good morning all, I would love some genuine advice please.

I have an old friend who is still in the org, but has never been the very staunch type. However, she is going through a very rough patch in life, (past deeds from youth caught up and now is in prison) and I reached out to her by old fashioned snail mail.

By her reply she sounds more PIMI than ever and finding some sort of comfort in the literature. Would I be wrong to attempt to wake her up, would that actually be a cruel thing to do right now? Should I wait till she is released, although then she will be physically in again and me still the df'd one.

Maybe I have answered my own question, but I'd like to hear others' view on it. Thanks in advance.

Sea Breeze

My advice is to mail her a copy of Crisis of Conscience. She will have plenty of time to read it.

Do you mind me asking what is she in prison for? Just curious.

no-zombie

Witnesses in trouble are like WW2 hand grenades. They look safe ... until they take your hand off.

TonusOH

The JW message resonates most strongly with those who are dealing with difficult situations in life. Your friend may be clinging to the org more tightly than ever, as she may feel it is a familiar path to redemption and eventual salvation. I have a friend like that, who was wavering for a while until his kidneys failed. He has become as staunch a JW as there is, now that his life expectancy has shrunk and his general quality-of-life has decreased.

I don't know the right or wrong approach with your friend. I decided to leave my friend alone, because he is doing pretty well and is happy (he married a Philipino JW and moved to the Philipines, and is enjoying a laid-back existence with an ample pension to keep him comfortable). What good comes of trying to undermine his position? He would not be better off, is my view. I can't speak to your situation, though. It's not always an easy decision.

Beth Sarim

Send her a copy of Crisis of Conscience..

Then order her some of James Pentons books.

That should help her.

KerryKing

I haven't read Crisis of Conscience myself yet 😅

Phizzy

My advice K.K is always do what is the kind, empathetic thing for the person ! Why rush to wake her up ?

I know we do not wish to see a person back "in" and maybe become embedded, but your friend will show you signs of when she is ready to wake up, nothing is accomplished before that time arrives.

Until then, she needs you as a good, kind, empathetic, loving and supportive, and unconditional friend. She will then value, and trust you so much, that when ready, you can gently guide her to the first Steps on The Road to Freedom.

Do now what is best for HER, she has enough to deal with at present, and no need for anything that may make life harder for her in any way.

ThomasMore

Is it actually necessary to point out that a person has been misled? If she needs comforting words, maybe they can be given without undermining her support for JWism. I have some some former JW acquaintances who still reach out to me on occasion. I avoid anything JW since they know I am never coming back. What's the point?

KerryKing

Thank you, what you say makes a lot of sense. I will hold off and see how things develop.

Balaamsass2

Provide Ray Franz's book.

Some people are where they need to be, no other "tribe" will accept them.

Waking some people up is like smashing a 3 yr olds belief in Santa Claus. Why do it?

Waking Them Up When They Feel Safe

Share this