What is wrong with my family?

by Nickey 38 Replies latest social family

• 

  DJ

  Hi again Nickey,

  I agree with Bendrr that you ought to leave that house. You are much to old to be hit. I know that you may feel mixed about you have been taught and the way that you are treated. It's all that you've known. A parent may give a child a spanking for discipline because they love that little child but it is not the same thing to hit a 22 yr. old woman. That was not done out of love but out of fear and control. The fear stems from being a JW. They teach some very cunning and false things which enable them to control others out of fear. That is not a healthy Godly fear. They are not the truth Nickey. I know that there is a place in your heart that knows that they are not right about some things. Trust that place in your heart. So many people have been damaged by them....and it is time to take control of yourself and seek what you truly believe. The fear and control of men is not of God. The love among the members is not there! You can pm me anytime. Take care of yourself. love, dj
• 

  PurpleV

  My family did the same thing to me (except they didn't hit me.)

  When I wanted to move out as an adult my mother took to her bed crying & my father called me up and said I was as cold as ice and cared about nobody but myself. So I stayed G - U - I - L - T

  When I finally left it was the best thing that had happened to me.

  Get a book called "Toxic Parents". It is AWESOME and helped me a lot. I can't remember the author but if you go to Amazon.com and search for that title you will find it.

  Also, to help you get past the "OMG what if they are right Armageddon is coming and I'm displeasing JHVH" phase, start reading and educating yourself about this so-called religion. Have you read "Crisis of Conscience" by Ray Franz, a former GB member?

  At www.freeminds.org there are tons of good books.... like "30 years a Watchtower Slave" among other goodies. Get your hands on a couple of those (have them sent to your significant others' house so you don't set them off again.)

  You need to GET OUT as soon as possibly can.

  BY THE WAY I'm from NYC, born and raised, and it's NOT filthy and disgusting (LOL) and I've never been raped!

  Hugs, V
• 

  Nickey

  Hello everyone,

  Yes, I had a literal black eye. I woke up that morning on the day of my flight to finish up packing. I packed enough for 4 days and made it clear to everyone that I would return the following Monday and begin school.

  However, the day before I was to leave, my grandfather called me on the phone and said my mother had called him saying I was "really" going. As if I was bluffing? So, she came to me and said she "changed her mind" about me going. I looked at her and said I was sorry if she no longer "agreed" with me going, but the choice was mine.

  Ironically, 2 witnesses came to the door. The conversation was making me sick.

  So I'm sitting there 3 hours before my flight and asked my mother if she could give me a ride to the airport. With only one car, I had no choice but to ask. She refused to answer and finally said "You're not going." That ticked me off so bad. But I bit my tongue and said I'd just call a cab. She started arguing with me and it escalated into yelling. I finally asked her what he problem was and she went into talking down on me. Always making it a point that Jehovah doesn't like children who disrespect their parents. I told her that her role as my mother had been revoked and I no longer saw her as a mother with the way she acts. I said some things out of anger...

  I finally got up to leave the room and saw the phone on the table. She jumped up and pushed me away from the phone, trying to lock me out the room. I tried to reach the phone one more time and she punched me in the neck, grabbed my hair and tried to yank me to the ground. She started punching me in the head and face until I fell. Once she got me on the ground, she started pounding my head into the wall. My older sister came and pulled her off and she was screaming that I was a Demon.

  An hour later, I got into a cab and caught a second flight to NYC....

  I went to the Ground Zero site. That was a quiet moment for me. I kept thinking how no one from the WT could help anyone from the WTC... accept their "own". Winced at Bethel as I rode by on the subway. Stayed in Times Square by the Port Authority. Went to Harlem to see the Apollo. Saw so many places and I don't regret one bit of it. I plan on going back in a few months.

  Yet on my way back (which I didn't want to go but had to get things straight with school) they called and said I couldn't come back. They kept me out for 3 weeks and I'm now behind on school... which is fine, because I plan on moving soon. I've had enough with this family.

  Ironically again.... 2 witnesses came to the door when I came back.

  WOLFS!
• 

  nilfun

  (((((Nickey)))))

  At a loss for words after reading the description of how you were savagely attacked...
• 

  Sunnygal41

  Nickey, at 22 I was married and living in a totally unknown city that was multi-racial....the first time I was ever amongst blacks and puertoricans in my whole young life.....I was a real "country girl" but I managed to survive! (The city I lived in was referred to by other surrounding cities and some of the inhabitants as the "armpit of the world") What your parents are going thru are normal feelings that have been twisted and expanded by the WTS brainwashing about the world we live in......oooh watch out for the BIG BAD WORLD!!! Although I'm not saying you can be totally carefree, I am saying that you will find alot of great stuff out here in this world to enjoy! And, if a totally non-street smart person like me could make a go of it, anyone can!

  Go for it and enjoy the ride!

  Terri
• 

  Sunnygal41

  I just finished reading the rest of the posts on this page and was shocked with your description of the attack by your mom. Your mom has a very very serious problem.....I would never darken her door again if I were you. There is absolutely NO reason on this earth that made it okay for her to attack you and punch you! She needs some serious anger management counselling.....and that demonized comment she made opens another whole can of worms....sweetie she is NOT a safe or emotionally stable person to be around. Cut your losses and get the hell away from the whole situation. Then, get into some counseling for yourself to deal with the understandable feelings that are boiling under your surface. Please keep us all posted as to how things are going! I'll listen anytime you want to talk....my email addy is [email protected] Email me!

  ALSO, FOR REASONS OF CLARIFICATION, I want to make it very clear that the comment about being amongst blacks and puertoricans was not meant as a racial slur....it was a description of how I grew up......whitebread thru and thru in a small town in upstate NY. Nothing was intended other than that.

  Terri
• 

  happyout

  Nickey,

  Sometimes it's hard to make sense of people's motivations. The simple answer is, you can't. What your mother did to you was assault, pure and simple, and she could have been (and probably should have been) arrested. It's rough being out on your own, but I truly believe that you are better (and safer) away from them. If she called you a demon, that opens all kinds of doors for them to call in the elders and try to get the demon out of you. Or to feel free to hit you again. You are so so so much better off now.

  I know it's hard, but you will find a ton of support on this board, and we are all pulling for you.

  Good luck, and don't look back,

  Happyout
• 

  Nickey

  Wow, I really have to use my post history feature. Lost this post for a while.

  Sunnygal,

  No harm done with the comment. I can understand the transition from being in the country to being around a different cultural enviroment. I've been back and forth and had the opposite of you. Black urban girl moving to the country. I never been around that many white folks in my life. *lol* But it is good because you learn new things by being around different people.

  Anywho, things have been somewhat more calm around here.I still hold some anger inside in how my family is. The control is over the line. The way in which my mother is treating me now is overly nice. But she can turn that off and on like a light switch. I think it was real low to call me in NYC 1 hour before my flight back home and tell me I couldn't come back. I thought it was twice as low for my mother to call ahead to Phoenix and tell my aunt to scare me and put pressure on me to make me break. I was bruised and under alot of stress, and my own mother was making calls telling someone to put more stress on me just so I would break down and call her saying I was wrong? I'm trying to understand why she did such a thing. If that's what she wanted, she didn't get it. Because I don't believe I was wrong. The only thing I was doing was trying to live my own life. I'm 22 years old and I feel I have that right. I think it's crazy to try and control someone to that degree. And to then try and use physical force.

  My mother has punched me, slapped me, thrown chairs and metal cans at my head. And I'm finally getting sick and tired of it. I should've reached this point a long time ago. But being raised a JW and growing up under that much control and fear made me have the lowest self esteem and insecurities.

  It just really burns me. I love my mother. But she's manipulative. It took me a long time to finally say that I deserved to live my life and to be happy. To live without a controlling family laying guilt on me and controlling not only my actions... but my thoughts. It going to be hard, but I will move out. Even if I have to get another black eye just to move. All the fears they put in me. I now find myself struggling to overcome all of that.
• 

  cruzanheart

  And I'm finally getting sick and tired of it.

  FINALLY??? GOOD FOR YOU!!! Walk, girlfriend, and don't look back. I wish I had.

  Nina