Recently Disfellowshipped

by PersonOfGlitter 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • PersonOfGlitter

    Hi I’m getting disfellowshipped on Thursday and was wondering what advice those that have left have for me. I’m not sure if I still believe or not.

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath

    welcome to the site.

  • Vanderhoven7

    Welcome to the forum POGlitter

    Please do not assume that the actions of a group of self-righteous men on a judiciary committee have anything to do with how God sees you.

  • tiki

    Welcome. Take the opportunity to step away from the religion and simply live your life free from the judgements of people that are no better than you and who really have no authority over you except that which you choose to accept. Work, play...make new free. Life unfettered by religion is a beautiful thing....and spirituality exists beyond the walls of kingdom halls.

  • road to nowhere
    road to nowhere

    You will meet people you know at the store. Some will avert their gaze, some will change course, and some ( like me) will still acknowledge you. Family goes the full spectrum from outright treating you as dead, lessening contact, and maintaining contact in private. If in the same household you may be excluded from prayers before meals, discussions, and maybe nagged at to " come back"

    You can leave for good, do what is needed to get back in then fade, or go back. No one can tell you what to do, but some will try. We dont know the details, some DFs are for reasons even the world can understand ( adultery), others are just kangaroo court reasons and there are shades in all them. Do not forget to keep living your own life

  • Diogenesister

    Have you checked out

    If not I highly recommend you take a look as it's extremely well researched and Paul only uses Watchtowers own publications. Please just do some research also into how undue influence works, in particular "thought stopping" sentences and the " B I.T.E." model...thats behaviour control, information control, thought control and emotional control. Steve Hassan wrote a book called " Combatting Cult mind control" that I highly recommend you read.

    Of course the other must read is " Crises of Conscience" by Raymond Franz.

    You will have extra time on your hands so spends some time investigating the history of your religion before you make any decisions.

  • DesirousOfChange

    You have two paths to choose.

    One, move on with your life. Yes, you will be shunned and ignored (and the subject of gossip) by JWs and likely even by your JW (conditional) friends and JW family (if you have such). If you can bear those consequences, you're probably better off getting out of the Cult. (But it will take perhaps years longer to get out of the Cult mentality.)

    Two, if you "need" to be in for the sake of family or business or whatever, you will need to grovel and kissass for 6-12 months by attending meetings and being remorseful when meeting with Elders if you hope to be reinstated. Some might criticize you for this, but only you can determine what is the best route for you. If you go this route, once you get back "in" make immediate plans to "fade" and move on with your life.

    Good luck!

    The greatest revenge is living a happy & successful life!

  • neat blue dog
    neat blue dog

    Echo what Diogenesister said:

    Definitely read up on

    This will arm you with facts that can prevent you being suckered back in or even being on the fence. There are many valuable topics on the site, but I recommend focusing on JW's core teachings, the ones that make them unique. If these are beyond all doubt false, then they have nothing to stand on.

  • Tameria2001

    Welcome to the group. For your own peace of mind, I would suggest research. There is a lot of information out there. I remember when I was leaving I was in turmoil, about quite a few things involving the religion. Also don't hesitate to ask questions, if you have any. I don't know what your plans are on the night they are going to make the announcement, but I would suggest missing that meeting.

  • Mandrake

    Don't look back! You're not alone

    It takes times but life gets easier, and you'll start to perceive things differently... It's hard sometimes to deprogram oneself

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