You can let them know that you will attend the Judicial committee BUT only under one condition, that your attorney be present as well. They will say no. Then tell them that any DF'ing decision will be turned over to your attorney. You will NEVER hear from them again. They will drop you like a hot potatoe. You too can play ugly!
Question: Can't You Just Ignore A Judicial Committee?
Of course your friend can refuse to talk to the elders or attend a JC. Despite what the elders had most of us believing at one time or another, they are not all-powerful mouthpieces of god. They're just mortal men, some of them pathetic mortal men. The only power they have over your friend is what she chooses to give them. Those elders may still, probably will DF her anyway, but she's under no obligation to be there if she doesn't want to.
Ignore them or DA, take your pick.
Getting out is the key.
A better life shortly follows.
One thing I've never understood is judicial committees. Yes, I understand it's held to see if elders should go through with the disfellowshipping process. But why give them all the power? Someone ratted on my cousin for SMOKING (mind you she hasn't been to a meeting in 3 months), so I just told her to ignore it and just keep on doing her own thing (I admire her for just saying 'screw it' and leaving/if you read my previous posts, I don't have that same courage). She said she has to do it.
It you don't show up and ignore their requests, are they still allowed to df you? Will they take it as an admission of guilt or will they just give up and move on?
As far as I know, you cannot just decide to accept/ignore the parts of being a JW that you like/don't like as you please. I am making the assumption that your cousin doesn't want to get disfellowshipped, and therefore, there seems to be an interest in still having a connection with that organization.
Part of what makes them a cult and not just a religion is the fact that it's all in black and white. You are either in or out, no middle ground, no room for picking and choosing what course of action is in your best interest.
I know of people who have been disfellowshipped in absentia. So it's possible to have a person judged and sentenced without the person present. Ignoring and not paying attention to (or horrors! not being afraid of) a JC is seen as the ultimate act of insubordination. Those goons believe that they have been exclusively designated by no other than the creator of the universe him(her)self to formally judge you over their interpretation of what is considered to be good/bad actions from your part. JWs have no saying on it for as long as they want to remain JWs in good standing.
It's a controlling, highly demanding cult, and as such, their indoctrination involves make people believe that they have power and authority over them, otherwise, there wouldn't be any WT if it wasn't for that.
But the most important thing for me to ask is why on Earth does your cousin want to continue being a JW? I mean, I posted here all the things I did that were against the JW guidelines, but I was born in and as soon as I knew better and could I sent them to the carajo (no English translation exist for that place) and never looked back.
Is your cousin in the position of just leaving? Is there anything that ties her up or forces her to stay at least for the time being? What's the level of investment and involvement of your cousin in that organization? Why is your cousin staying?
I'm sure they can disfellowship you in absentia. I myself was not even invited to my judicial committee yet was disfellowshipped.
Don't play by their rules, or give them any power over you.
Simply "treat them as one of he nations" and ignore the requests to meet!
If they keep sending such requests, remind them "of appropriate boundaries, and their need to respect your privacy"
If they have you or your cousin in their sights they wont give up , you become a challenge to them ,so why not get the draw on them and DA ? That way you are DF them from yourself , its a win situation for you .
And you are taking their power away from them , you have beaten them to the punch .
Dont do anything and they DF you , giving them the power over you.They go on their way all self righteous thinking they have kept the congregation clean from your influence.
Just my 2 cents worth.
Legally you can do what you want , you do not have to do anything .
these jumped up idiots let them play their own little games
If you ignore it, they will announce that you have disassociated yourself by refusing to speak to them.
But then if you're going to be screwed over by them anyway, why waste an afternoon?
Just quote the 2017 February Watchtower page 26 paragraph 12. The GB have given up all power saying that they are not divinely inspired. I told the elders that since the GB are not divinely inspired, that means that the elders were not of divine appointment and therefore are just self-appointed powerless men.
Just tell them that if they keep harassing you that they will have to deal with your attorney.
They haven't called or written since and we were not disfellowshipped.