My family

by lriddle80 24 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Brighton

    I was wondering about the 10 year fade. I've been faded for at least that long, and I can't imagine anyone coming after me. Did you start to go back to meetings and refuse to confess your sins? Is that the issue? I suggest that if anyone is able to do a successful fade - to never go back. It will be so much harder to leave the second time around.

  • lriddle80

    When I initially left, it was in the form of marrying a worldly guy that I knew for 4 months that I met at the mall - age 19. Then I was so angry at the control of my family and religion that we basically moved away and didn't tell anyone where we were. After a year or so, after drug use and drinking, I started to make my way back as this guy and I were breaking up. He was a just a vehicle to escape. I really hated the drug lifestyle. Went to a few meetings here and there. I was going to move back home, but my dad said I better not bring anything in the house, like drugs. I was expecting a prodigal son return and didn't get that, so I didn't go home. I met another guy and became pregnant after a year and a half. My mom was married 4 times, so I vowed that whomever I had a kid with, I would stay with that person. Well one day jw came knocking and I tried to go back. The elder said we either had to get married or break up. But I couldn't do that because of my vow. So, I walked away. Years later some people bought us groceries when the economy tanked and then invited us to their church. I heard about Jesus, got saved, repented, etc. I told my parents and got the you are worshipping Satan rhetoric. I was shunned for a while, but they still talked to me over the years. My dad love bombed my husband (he would ignore me, though). My husband thought that going to the memorial was a way to respect my dad and placate my family. I was against it, but my family would love bomb me there and it was nice to get the love, albeit it was to manipulate me. Then this last memorial is the one where the elder that called met me and then started asking my family about me and my mom told him I was going to a church and celebrating Christmas. When the elder called I should have just hung up, but my pride was so high against jw that I wanted to show him I had the actual truth and I wanted to stand up to him. Now my family is shunning me. I have taken some time to think about it and my husband and I had a big conversation about it. I made my decision to stand up to the elder and I have to live with the consequences. I got to say goodbye to my family and maybe they will come around like they did in the past or maybe not. What I really want is to not be a jw and have a relationship with my family. But this doesn't exist. I am leaving it in God's hands and moving on with my life. My family were barely in my life anyway, so I just had to grieve a little and now I have peace about it. Thanks to everyone who took the time to respond. I really like how my life has played out and my husband says I should be glad I escaped, and I am!

  • lriddle80

    I also wanted to add that growing up the way I did with 4 dad's, I needed some counseling, but never got help. I was a nightmare of a teenager and was very rebellious to my family in the form of not doing what they asked of me and being very sarcastic which I thought was funny. After maturing and getting saved I saw how horrible I had been to my family and everyone, really. I tried to show my family over and over again that I was sorry. I have helped them out financially and with food and supported them to make up for how I had hurt them. I have to realize that I did all I could to show them I have repented of who I was as a child, and I understand that I would have been different had I gotten help then. I have gotten counseling and feel like I am in a good place mentally. I have hope and peace and if my family can not see that and choose to reject me based on false ideas, that's their responsibility, as someone here said. It sucks, though.

  • lriddle80

    I am thankful for the relationship I am building with my biological father who left when I was 4 months old. I got in touch with him when I was about 26. It's been sporadic over the years. I saw him and his wife and my half sister yesterday and he used to be a jw, so he understands what I am going through. I am thankful I still have some family. So, I should stop whining about what I don't have. Also, again, thanks for listening and putting up with my narcissism. :)

  • smiddy3

    That`s a very sad story you tell Iriddle80 ,I hope your life turns around for the better from now on .

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