Narcissistic personality disorder and the dubs

by purrpurr 40 Replies latest jw friends

  • purrpurr
    I've recently started to research NPD. Having identified several of my family members as having it ( no wonder we're such a ¿***#@**!!!! Up family)
    There's huge similarities between the Borg and individual members of the Cong as well I've noticed.
    The over whelming love of self, the need to believe in a grandiose fictional version of themselves, always striving for more power and wealth, being unable to stand any criticism, and then there's the manipulation of the victims too.
    I could be wrong I guess but what thoughts do you guys have about it?
  • talesin

    I think you are spot-on. I was reading about narcissism, thought of family members, too. The more we learn, the more we know is true. So right, That's a good piece of reasoning, purrpurr. The sly tool of passive-aggression is spread to the R&F as well.

  • WingCommander

    My sister-in-law is a totally manipulatively, self-centered narcissist and borderline psychopath. She has ZERO empathy for anyone except herself and her "darling" daughters, who are every bit as spiteful, two-faced, vindictive, and narcissistic as she is; worse even. What's worse, is that she's totally fooled my wife's parents into believing she's so wonderful and that my wife is white trash. And of course like the gullible fools they are, they lap that right up and continue to enable the narcissist and her family. We're done. After being harassed, slandered, and made an ass out of on social media by these hateful clowns, we told them all to go f*ck themselves and never set foot on our property again unless they desire an ass-whooping. These people are Advent Lutherans, and they are certifiably insane! My S-I-L actually has people believing that the Holy Spirit came over her on her way to work in rush hour traffic one day and "healed" her of a somewhat serious illness she had. Delusions of grandeur, much? More like "whacked in the head." Best thing I ever did was get away from these horrible people.....took me YEARS to get over their mutherfuggery, but I tell you the truth - best thing I ever did was get the hell away from their hateful bullsh*t.

    Best thing to do with toxic individuals (or family) is to remove them from your life like the cancer they are.

  • ToesUp

    I also did extensive research in ND a few years ago. I worked with a person who was 100% Narcissistic. It is truly something to observe.

    The upper echelon of the JW organization is unbelievably narcissistic! Anthony Morris' narcissism shows every time he opens his mouth. He is smug and insulting and I believe he has caused a tremendous amount of damage to so many. I think Anthony and his gang are doing all the dirty work for us.

    This trickles down through the ranks. There are some good/genuine people in the org, but always keep in mind that they are brainwashed to practice shunning. This is not normal behavior and is the worst form of bullying. I am no longer surprised by people's behavior. Our life has moved on but we are fascinated by how all of this is playing out.

  • Acts5v29

    A close friend has NPD, closer to sociopath. There are far worse aspects, far worse, but the refusal to reason and the inability to see people as anything other than possessions is terrible.

    There is something of the "decision tree" about religions, and there is softness within the way that is handled, but totally impervious to consideration. While there are NPD-types who will love the authority in such religions, pity those who are on the receiving end.

  • millie210

    So based on the above posts,

    are these people born narcissists who also happen to be JWs?

    did they start out ok (or at risk) and the religion caused the narcissism to bloom?

    I can see some of what you all have mentioned in my JW family but I dont see it in my non JW family, except for one family member. So I am curious!

  • ToesUp

    "Best thing to do with toxic individuals (or family) is to remove them from your life like the cancer they are."

    Best advice Wing Commander. If you research ND, even the experts say if you come across others who are truly like hell. You can not help nor change them, they are toxic.

  • Skedaddle

    I would say that npd is a symptom, a coping mechanism. From my understanding so far, it's a symptom that can manifest itself naturally when the underlying belief of what god is, is a seperate, unconnected being from satan, oneself and from everything else. Or to put it another way, when one thinks of himself as an unconnected entity to anything else. That seperation plants a seed of thinking oneself is something seperate and therefore can be compared.

    To study the traits of people is a monumental undertaking when going from ground up. I've found it easier to go from top down - top being the notion of god or no god and if god, then who or what god is and then... practices preached by the various religions and the effects of those on the people.

    Jw's are a christian organization who believe that god is a seperate physical entity to self, jesus, satan, holy spirit, creatures and to everything else, driving the seperating wedge between everything and everyone. Good v bad. Interestingly enough, Genesis establishes the foundation for the bible with this seperation with it's metaphors for adam and eve, satan and god in eating from the tree of knowledge. (Why does the bible use metaphors? Why do people try to take a litteral understanding when reading out of context? This is why there are thousands of religions from one book. Because in the metaphors lies room for misinterpretation and it's these reasons why i believe the bible is a manmade creation because in it's very root, it seperates i from god. Everything made more sense once i got past that. The whole we're all hydrogen blah blah... I've digressed.)

    When you take that state and then make everyone responsible inside a religion or cult for their own individual fight in the doomsday race against time where how you conduct yourself along the way is judged by peers, and judicial persons, the individual is constantly in a place of survival from the bombardment of the mind asking "am i good enough" "will i survive". The prolonged effect of being in this survival state kicks in coping mechanisms and some deal with it better than others. Some fall into self loathing from not feeling good enough, some feel they're doing better than anyone else or lie that they're doing better than anyone else. Depression, split personality, narcissism etc. are all symptoms of the coping with one's situation by oneself in a setting where they don't really understand what's going on or what will happen. So basically, when i see a narcissist, i just see a person whos been exposed to an experience where they had to find a way to cope and survive. I often feel narcissists have it better than the other route which i suppose is self loathing. Whichever way we look at it, i feel the very root of mankind's identity crisis is rooted in the seperation of everything. But then again divide and conquer wins wars!

    These are just thoughts off the top of my head and i went off topic and rambled. Sorry about that. But when you type on a tablet it makes it very difficult to delete what you've tapped out with one finger! Did i write anything that made sense? Or even connected to the topic?


  • talesin

    millie210 - good point. It's certainly, like all things, not a black-and-white issue where all JWS are stamped with a label. I think that the religion allows those with narcissistic tendencies, a place to practice them. The victim/ martyr complex is a good example. What is more controlling than someone who is always sick? Poor Sister so-and-so, does get a lot of attention. There's always a new crisis.

    Wanting our children to be little carbon copies (not exclusively JW, think about the super-rich. Their kids have an expected path to follow, and straying from it could mean disinheritance and expulsion from the family unit) is a narcissistic trait that JWS fosters. So they are, in fact, teaching these traits to the R&F. It's one of many factors to consider. Being aware and informed of the traits, makes a narcissist easier to spot and avoid (if possible).

  • Acts5v29

    Good afternoon millie

    are these people born narcissists who also happen to be JWs?

    did they start out ok (or at risk) and the religion caused the narcissism to bloom?

    there is no cure, nor adequate treatment for NPD. It isn't easy to acquire because its base standards are so alien to normal ones. There is a deal of difference between someone who is meek and then enjoys being self-righteous and aggressive after joining a church, compared to an NPD who doesn't have that "kick" of freedom, but rather simply feels in their element once there.

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