When i was in, we all used to claim us JW's were "one big family" all around the world, and how we're the happiest people on the earth. Except that isnt true is it? I knew that when i was in, but i've just had some news which shows me how unloving, uncaring and un-family like they really are.
My ex-best friend (he has to shun me doesn't he?) got married, i was still in at the time and was his best man at the wedding. He was 22yo and his wife 19yo. Which is a common age for marriage for JWs. He and I and his now wife have been friends for about 7 years and i knew them both before they were even dating. Anyway, they rent a small apartment. Last i knew he worked for an elder in his window washing business. His wife pioneers.
I was talking to my ex-wife yesterday as i dropped off my daughter at her place. I asked about my family (i have to get news about my own family from her), and ex-acquaintances. She told me my ex-best friend (lets call him John) and his wife have had a hard few months.
The elder has had to let him go because he cant afford to keep paying him. So John is now unemployed with no real work experience due to always working for this JW elder. The home they're renting has some serious damage to it, damp, rot, leaks, mold on the walls. So much so that their mattress and clothes had to be trashed due to mold building up on it. So they're literally sleeping on blankets on the floor in their home and keeping what cheap clothes they could buy at short notice in plastic containers in another room.
Ah! But fortunately they're part of God's loving organization, one big spiritual family. I asked my ex-wife what the congregation is doing to help.
Absolutely nothing. John's parents wont put them up in their home because his elder dad absolutely MUST have the spare room as an office to write his talks and do research. Her parents are dead. The brothers and sisters are just giving them "encouragement" to keep strong and things will get better. No real help whatsoever.
The elders have said it's not their responsibility to look after another mans household. That's the mans role as head of his house. The elder who used to employ him is using victim blaming saying "he knew when i employed him that there's no redundancy pay or sick pay". His wife is looking to come off pioneering so she can look for work and the elders have shamed her back into pioneering.
It pains me because i really want to help. Wether it be with money or, hey, i have a big spare room. But there's no way they'd even speak to me. They're not allowed to. I dont even know what they think of me, "crazy apostate?" "mentally diseased?" "spiritually weak?" I dont know, but even if they did i'd like to help them to get out of this rut. Even if it was anonymously.
One big family - what a crock.
P.S. The elder was paying him cash in hand. Didnt want to bother the nice people at the Inland Revenue with all those forms. So there's no record of John working AT ALL since leaving school.