Involved(ish) with a JW Man.

by BNG-713 25 Replies latest social relationships

  • goingthruthemotions

    RUN, RUN why would you think it will turn out good. It will always be a roller coaster.

    my wife has always been indoctrinated since i meet her 30 years ago. i love her with all my heart...but she is so diluted in the cult. it has cause many many problems.

    Meet someone who you are compatible with on a spiritual level. what ever that is...But believe me it's not with a JW. They are spiritually and emotionally stunted.

  • Mandrake

    I once was that JW baptized boy, we were in our first college year... VERY intense relationship, lasted 3 years, I'm not with that girl now, she didn't had the "patience" for waiting for me to change, by the end she started to put on "deadlines", because prior to this we broke up for good and told our parents that we were not seeing each other, we couldn't hold ourselves and started dating again in secret... It was a very confusing and stressing time, she wanted me to stand against my parents and religion just to date in public like everyone else, and I don't blame her for wanting that.

    Now I'm happily living with my girlfriend, we have been together for 5 years, my ex had an important role in my life and in getting out of the JWs... We have a saying in spanish, "nadie sabe para quien trabaja" (something like: "nobody know who you are really working for"), all the struggle we went through with my ex girlfriend made our relationship something damaged... And at the end I decided to try and date another "worldly" girl... With me mentally out and my JW parents divorced everything went different... But all the experience I had before helped me becoming a little more "normal" human being, as I was "born in" and had to get used to celebrating birthdays and all the stuff...

    My story could have ended well with my ex girlfriend but in the end this kind of relationship is time and soul consuming...

    From my experience, he will try to fit what he wants with you with his "faith", the time he realizes that can't be done, he will need to choose: leave either you or the religion, and maybe try to avoid to make the choice, it took me couple of years and the divorce of my parents to get the change to break mentally free of the JW

    You are dealing with deep deep deep indoctrination, that have taught him that almost everything in this world is utterly evil... I suffered and made suffer A LOT trying to make things work ... Anywhow... I regret nothing...

    Feel free to write to me if you need anything :)

  • Olympas

    I hope you will be ready to love him enough to want to be a Jehovah's witness ?

  • nonjwspouse

    BNG, I am so glad you nipped it in the bud. I hope you come back here and tell us how you are doing.

    I agree so much with what incognito wrote. I have BTDT and it is extremely, extremely difficult. So much so it is hard to describe adequately.

  • joe134cd
    Almost everyone here will advise you against doing this, and for good reason. Most posters have spent decades in the religion, so we know the culture well, and our advise is well founded. I myself walked away after 40 years in the religion. Therefore, I’d like to think I know what I’m are talking about. There is a question I have for you, that may help you see things differently. Why did you choose to come and express your concerns to a group of anonymous posters, rather than talking directly to your boyfriend or his parents? You could of also gone to the local Kingdom Hall and enquired there as well. Yet you choose not to. Don’t you think this unusual considering you spend so much time communicating on the phone?
  • joe134cd

    Ok just read your prior post. Count yourself lucky you gave him the flick.

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