How the Borg could increase meeting attendance numbers

by Sour Grapes 15 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Sour Grapes
    Sour Grapes

    I think that the 8 popes should allow the JDubs to count time driving to the meetings or even count their time being at the meetings. Those who just listen over the phone can't count their time.

    It would be a much better religious cult if the 8 self-licking ice cream popes would let their followers count their time for helping the elderly in the KingDumb Haul with stopping by to have coffee, shopping, cleaning, cutting grass, etc. Let them count time by visiting the friends in nursing homes, maybe even allow double the hours for the nursing home visits.

    This probably ain't going to happen because the cart work is easier.

  • steve2

    "Self-licking ice-cream popes"?! This alone has made my day. Thank you Sour Grapes. Unforgettable!

    On the question of increasing meeting attendance, I thought the solution was elementary:

    Count every attendee twice and multiply by 4. The numbers would then show a return to the days when "marvellous growth" was taking place.

  • asp59

    Only reason they have 2 day meetings a week is the money. They could have gone to one meeting a week years ago. Problem is then there's only one day a week they can collect contribution. It's all about money at the end. Organice religion is a snare and a racket.

  • The Fall Guy
    The Fall Guy

    Sour Grapes, what an absurd idea - asking JW's to actually apply & live up to the identifying mark of a true Christian which Jesus commanded at John 13:34,35.

    And all the time I was an active JW, I believed that preaching the good news was the identifying mark!

    Silly me - how could I possibly have come to that conclusion????????

  • dubstepped

    They've always been good at creative math. As a kid I always found it ridiculous that they'd lay claim to having 5 meetings per week. Did we somehow leave on Thursday and Sunday and reconvene? They couldn't even count right. Everything was spun to be more than what it was. It was 3 meetings. Why not count meetings for field service or elders meetings or...... Just arbitrary weirdness.

    Anyway, I always thought that we should get to count our time, at least on the way to the meeting for field service, getting ready, etc. It was part of it. Nothing like a family spending an hour or two getting ready for a meeting or service of an hour or two.

    We were to be on our best JW behavior at all times as a witness to anyone watching, so all time should count.

    Elders counted time for public talks, so everyone should count time for comments and talks down to the second, lol.

    It's all so stupid, no?

  • awake!watcher

    I know many pioneers who counted time for visiting the elderly, taking them to Dr visits, etc. It's the mark of true a Christian, right?🙄

  • JW_Rogue

    Maybe they are try decrease meeting attendance, the majority of donations only come from a small percentage anyway.

  • eyeuse2badub

    Should be able to count time when praying for others, thinking about others or even during love making since any subsequent offspring resulting from love making will likely result in another jw!

    just saying!

  • Vidiot

    Topless ushers?

  • caves

    Online meetings. Then they could count how many logged on to the site jw or not.

    @vidiot- topless ushers. LOL How about monthly gift cards for a massage to pioneers and auxiliarys for their aching bodys. LOL.

    @eyeuse2badub- or even during love making since any subsequent offspring resulting from love making will likely result in another jw! The whole 9 months of pregnancy.

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