Oh this stoopid shunning thing!!

by Unstuck 31 Replies latest jw experiences

  • never a jw
    never a jw

    Interesting that I can openly attack the organization in the harshest way possible, and what do I get in return... my brothers, my daughter and my wife, all JW's, become nicer. I am not exaggerating. It's the common pattern of my JW family who have had access to my rants about the Borg. That's the difference between being baptized and not being baptized. Also, being the financial support of all of them (my brothers work for/with me) may have something to do with their smiles and nice words after my rants about the Watchtower.

    The cult steals their minds and turns them into marionettes, who can be kind or angry when the handler sees fit.

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath

    ive long since given up on any possibility of 2 of my kids ever speaking to me.

    i quit the cult in the 70's. in 81 i had an affair with a married sister in my wifes congregation. the sister was d/f for it. apparently ( although no-one ever told me directly )--it was also announced that i couldnt be d/f--because i hadnt been a dub for years. so--it was announced i was an apostate and the bros should have nothing to do with me !

    my father and mother ( both deceased ) never shunned me--i told them right back then i couldnt carry on as a dub because i didnt believe in god--so wouldnt obey the watchtower rules about blood . so they accepted i wasnt a dub--end of.

    however--after my mum died--in 98--my daughter decided to ignore my father--to the point of never visiting him in his care home in the last 3 years of his life. she lives less than a mile from there ! all because she knew my dad still talked to me.

  • Normalfulla

    I seriously believe I'd be treated better if I robbed a bank at gunpoint than disagreeing with the gb, the apostate label has got to be the equivalent of white walkers in the jw world

  • SummerAngel

    Hi unstuck, not sure what part of the world you live in but I deal with this type of thing in my professional life in UK and also had personal experience of similar a couple of years ago for different reasons.

    Firstly be a visible presence on the ward, ask DRs and nurses yourself for updates and ensure they and any social workers involved have your details. Make them aware of the issues and stress you want to be involved in any case meetings. In UK you could ask for an advocate for your father to ensure his wishes are heard neutrally on the basis that you are a family in conflict. If your father has any form of dementia or similar the Hosp /social care should be holding a meeting with wider family to support best way forward. To be invited to these they need to be aware of you. Avoid speaking to awkward other relatives, deal directly with your father and medical/social team.

    At the end of the day you can't force a person not to shun you. Its a bike doctrine and a bike organization try and protect your own emotions at the moment you have enough on your plate.

  • SummerAngel

    BTW apostate is a meaningless label its simply their way of mentally justifying to themselves what they are doing. Definition wise its actually incorrect don't get hung up on it

  • stuckinarut2

    Great points SummerAngel!

    Yes, the use of the word "apostate" does play into the society's control. The actual dictionary definition is simply "one who has left their former faith". By that rule, even Jesus was an Apostate (or Judaism)

    As for being present with the hospital and medical team, we are indeed doing that. We are the ones who have visited, and spoken with all the medical team.

    The sister (who lives approx. 2000 kms away has not of course been able to visit)

    Will keep you all updated!

  • LisaRose

    That's so sad. Since you aren't disfellowshipped or disassociated she is actually going counter to the bible by choosing to listen to gossip and shun you without even talking to you, but at this point there is nothing to be gained by calling her on it.

    My mom passed away shortly after I left, it was a very difficult time, no one told me she had gone into the hospital, I was only informed when she died. How could that ever be an OK thing to do??

    It just shows how evil the Watchtower teachings actually are in practice, that they can tear families apart and cause such heartache and grief. Rather than motivating me to return I was just more determined to have the stupidity stop there, no way was I ever going to shun my children.

    I have found meditation to be very helpful with the stress of dealing with JW family.

  • jp1692

    SummerAngel: Firstly be a visible presence on the ward, ask DRs and nurses yourself for updates and ensure they and any social workers involved have your details. Make them aware of the issues and stress you want to be involved in any case meetings.

    ^^^ THIS ^^^

    The JWs may play their petty little bullshit games but they can't bully the medical professionals. Make them your allies and take no game playing from your small-minded cult member family.

  • zeb

    "My hubby was DFd for testifying in a child abuse case".. really what country please?

  • Old Navy
    Old Navy

    Once we come to the truthful realization that those who are PIMI the WTBorg Cult Inc., are in fact Worshipers of Old Satan himself, then the shunning isn't quite so painful. We can actually feel pity for their sorry state of deceived thinking and actions. There will surely come a time, yet future, when they will be made to see the error of their ways and repent. In the meantime treat them with loving kindness. Plant your seeds in a good way...

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