Oh this stoopid shunning thing!!

by Unstuck 31 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Unstuck

    Warning - Vent Ahead......

    So, my father (still very much in JW but who has at least had the decency to still keep in contact with me and hubby and to show interest in why we aren't attending and respect where we are at) is in intensive care at a local hospital and is intubated and sedated with some serious health issues. I'm next of kin so I get all the phone calls from the hospital.

    So, the rest of the "family" has cut me off because we are inactive and because the ever-active JW gossip grapevine has rumoured with a sibilant slithy hissy voice: "apossstassssy" is the cause of our inactivity.


    But now I've had to contact said "family" with the news about my father and what is going on......

    So, dad's sisters answer my calls and manage to act and conduct themselves with a degree of decorum.

    My sister on the other hand - well, she doesn't deign to answer my calls and texts for most of the day. I push the issue tonight and insist on speaking to her when my brother-in-law answers the call. She gets on the phone with a high and mighty manner, states that she isn't going to accept second hand information from me, and that she is having discussions with the local body of elders from father's congregation to discuss future plans for him - and it's pretty clear that I'm not going to be included nor consulted in these plans.

    I then find out from my mother that my sister has said that she won't liaise with me or talk to me because I'm an apostate.

    Note for the record: I'm not disassociated nor disfellowshipped and at no time has said sister called me to find out if said rumours are true or how I actually am.

    Second note for the record: yes, yes, yes, I technically am (and am quite proud to be) labelled an apostate but I so resent that an apostate (definition: a person who renounces a religious or political belief or principle) should be demonised to such a point that family WON'T TALK TO THEM!! Even in times of family crisis......

    BLAH!!! I'm wearing my cranky pants tonight and knew that there was a group of people who would totally get where I am coming from and so I vent this to you, my kindred spirits!

    Love and light to all,


  • punkofnice

    Vent justified.

    The shunning is not stupid, it's totally evil. The Governing body should be found guilty of crimes against humanity and be given the boot.

  • tiki

    Wrong on so many levels...just when family needs most to rally together and be supportive of your dad and each other they turn it into a spiteful clash. Not a show of love for sure. Sounds like you are in for some challenging days. I hope there is someone you can reason with sufficiently to make it clear that now is the time for a united caring front...and that religious preferences should not stand in the way of that. Good luck.....

  • moreconfusedthanever

    Yes it's true. The shunning happens even if you just stop attending the Hall. You do not need to disassociate or get disfellowshiped. So it is on their mighty high horses.

    The stories I can tell are mind boggling.

    Got a text from my relative yesterday stating that we are very close to when gog of Magog will attack us and they are not worried for themselves (they go to the meetings so they are saved) but they are worried for us.

    I have to keep reminding myself that they actually believe our lives are in danger and are coming from a place of concern. I know that is not true of everyone. Some people are just plain mean.

  • stuckinarut2

    Yes, as Unstuck's other half, I can add that it simply proves that we made the right decision in life to "become Apostates" if this kind of behaviour is the sort that is promoted by the society!

    I mean, yes, we are "apostate" as you all know here on the forum. But it needs to be stated that NEVER at ANYTIME has ANY elder actually ever spoken with us, nor popped in to see us to verify the rumour started by one person who saw my computer years ago.

    NOT ONE PERSON has ever even checked with Unstuck to see where she stands, or what her views are! All that witnesses know for sure is that we don't attend.

    So, this proves the old expression "WHY LET FACTS GET IN THE WAY OF GOSSIP?"

  • Confusedalot

    I'm disassociated and an "apostate" and it worries me what will happen if my JW mom gets sick or something. Are they even going to let me know because there is no communication at the moment.

    I once dreamed I was dressed like the devil (red costume with pitchfork) and threw Molotov cocktails at the local kingdom hall; I hope it was just a dream and not prophetic...sooo much anger building up.

  • Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho
    Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho

    And we have a diabolical organization to thank for that. One that masquerades the promotion of "happy family life". I'd say that's more grotesque than Christendom's apparent mockery of "true worship". Hey WT - why you always frontin'?

  • zeb

    "and it's pretty clear that I'm not going to be included nor consulted in these plans." a vent well vented.. and when they come asking for money?

  • Iown Mylife
    Iown Mylife

    What happened to the proviso that family business could be conducted if needed; that the Saved could communicate with the Condemned if there was a family emergency without being considered contaminated?

  • cha ching
    cha ching

    So sorry, unstuck....... I am almost to your place in life....

    My dad is NOT a JW, my mom is.... He is 87, and there will come a hospital day.

    I am not disassociated or DFd, but have not "attended" for five years now. My hubby was DFd for testifying in a child abuse case, and NO ONE of my family has spoken/ discussed/ inquired about it.

    (One day, quite unplanned... when my JW sister asked me "which DA are you going to?" .... I let the cat out of the bag, and told her about the latest WT re: 607, and one question/response led to another, and the next thing I knew, I was telling her that the WT was going to have to ditch Russell, and change "the times" cuz 607 was wrong.... that was in 2012.... and it happened not long after)

    So.... five years later, after my mom has been VERY business like when I called, she is in need of help cleaning up my hoarding dad's yard, and my JW sister refuses, she "helped 3 years ago" ! My DFd hubby & I, and my non-baptized also apostate sister have been leading the way in the cleanup.... my mom is being more 'friendly'.... My JW sister is still acting like a self righteous brat.

    My point? I don't know what would happen if my dad suddenly took a turn for the worse... JWs change their colors/ coats so fast... Would all of our hard work be forgotten?

    I feel for you..... JWs have a tendency not to "communicate".... it is against their religion....

    Always hold the higher place, actions will always speak louder than words...

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