Those with mates still in

by tech 597 19 Replies latest jw friends

  • tech 597
    tech 597

    I got home a little late from work this evening, and my wife was getting ready for the bookstudy. She was quite happy and we began to discuss the days activities. Things were going great. Until, she asked me if I was going to the bookstudy with her. I told her I wouldn't be going,as I had some things I wanted to get done around the house. She asked me if I was sick. I said no. Happiness gone for yet another evening, inspite of the fact that I attended Sunday and Tuesday with her.

    We've had ongoing arguments about what I consider to be excessive amounts of meetings. She repeats the wt mantra that we, "must not forsake the gathering of ourselves together". (Heb 10:24,25) I repeat my illustration that if I were to form my own religion, and called for meeting seven nights a week, could I rightfully use Hebrews 10:24,25 to brow beat those who could not make every one. Besides, we are studying the Isaiah book, which contains so much speculation and conjecture, I have a hard time not speaking up about it. Instead, I sit there like a bump on a log doing nobody any good.

    My wife and I have a great relationship and I love her dearly. It's just frustrating to have small moments of peace and joy drained from our family through an atmosphere of religious intolerance fostered by wtbts teaching.

    Sorry if this sounds like ranting.

    Tech 597

  • be wise
    be wise

    It's amazing how far these WBTS religious termites can reach. The're like something out of a sci-fi horror movie, aren't they ?

  • JamesThomas

    My heart goes out to you tech. It must be uncomfortable keeping your true feelings from your wife. How big a piece of your relationship depends on you and your wife's religious unity do you think? JamesT

  • 95stormfront

    Man, do I ever know what you mean.

    When I was trying to play that role and spare my wife's feelings about going to those meetings, I would've rather have had a prostate exam with a spiked club than to sit in there listening to that same nonsense over and over. I died a little inside everytiime I went.

    I'm not sure what your plans are, but for me, at least, it got to the point where I knew I wasn't doing either one of us any good by going to those meetings and pretending to like them. I had to make a stand for my own sanity and let the chips fall where they may. It was tough, and there were knock down drag outs about it but she came to realize that although she didn't like it, she had to respect my decision of not believing the party line any longer.

  • jgnat

    There is something to be said for contrived incompetence. I have convinced my honey I am a lost cause. I pretty well keep that 'false hope' at bay.

  • qwerty

    You sound like me about a year ago!

    Don't it feel great when you get home from work and have the night off!

    You are in the UK right?

    Email me .........if you give me your telephone number I'll give you a bell!.......No prob if you feel uneasy about the phone number.

    [email protected]


  • bittersweet

    I was in that same position a few years ago. I did what 95stormfront did, and told my husband like it was.I told him I would no longer be going to meetings anymore. He was very unhappy about this, but he has gotten used to it. For me the biggest problem is having kids in the mix.That's what makes it hard for me. If you and your spouse really love eachother, your relationship will survive this. You have to be true to yourself first though, it's no use pretending.

  • LovesDubs

    Its been 6 years since I DAd officially, but for about a good five years before that, I was very upset about the whole scenario and couldnt say anything. I started to back out of those "get togethers" with regularity causing my husband to say I was a social ZERO and a phobic...and all kinds of other nasty things to try to guilt me into even the SOCIAL gatherings let ALONE the meetings which I still dragged my kids to and hated. Then all kinds of things started to happen, besides the abrupt changes in doctrine including the generation, and seeing my best friend and an elder have an affair, and another elder having an affair while his wife was dying with a worldly woman no less, and watching many many other examples of how nasty the "friends" really are under their holier than thou facade, I finally couldnt stand it any more...and I was having the book study AT MY HOUSE at the time. We were going over the Revelation book for the THIRD freakin time and I just could NOT stomach one more hour of that crap. I had managed to miss meetings on and off, because I was pregnant...even took the baby monitor to my bedroom during my OWN bookstudy to get AWAY from those morons. Then I just snapped...I told my husband I could no longer LIE TO JEHOVAH...and that since JEHOVAH KNEW MY HEART I could not continue to lie to Him bald faced by going to meetings and hating it all. I wasnt fooling any body, and certainly the One who mattered was God in all this. I told my husband I was DONE with meetings DONE with the hypocrisy and DONE with being a LIAR in the face of my God whom I loved and would NOT stop loving. I told him to tell the BS conductor to move the meeting out of my house and to the hall (only two blocks away). He DIDNT DO IT and so the following Tuesday, Im at home and people start SHOWING UP! I was furious. My husband didnt TELL them and he didnt even SHOW UP until 7:25 because he didnt want to FACE ME, he said he didnt "want to hurt the friends". I let him have it with BOTH barrels when he got home and I didnt give a damn if the "friends" heard me screaming. He said to me "YOU ARE SELFISH AND YOU DONT LOVE THE FRIENDS!!"....and I LEVITATED off the floor where I was cowering and shaking in anger...and I said to him "WHO is the one who cleans this house for this meeting every week? WHO is the one who shovels not one but TWO driveways every week in winter for their CARS to be off the street? WHO is the one who bathes, feeds and dresses THREE children before EVERY meeting?? WHO is the one who puts up 20 chairs, makes coffee and provides SNACKS for those 20 people every week? and WHO is the one who comes in the freaking door at 7:25 and doesnt do a DAMN THING for the friends and takes all the CREDIT for being the HOST every week??? Dont you F_ING say I dont love the friends!!! NOW GET THE HELL OUT THERE AND TELL THEM TO MOVE THIS GOD DAMNED MEETING OR I WILL!!"

    And he cried about losing me at Armageddon, and he screamed about BEING REQUIRED to take our kids to the meetings and I SCREAMED that no way in hell he was going to make our kids HATERS of all people not LIKE THE JWS and we have had some knock downs...but we stayed together because I DIDNT marry the man because he was a JW and he DIDNT marry me because thats all I was....and if that is all that is keeping a marriage together it is doomed to fail. I know he wont ever leave them...his family is in and they treat me like crap. But my kids will never be JWs...and thats ALL I care about. I have given them a normal free life, and they watch their father who is MISERABLE as a JW...drag himself to those meetings, scraping together SOMETHING to put on his time report every month, and watching him totally unable to live up to their standards and being depressed and unhappy about it. He cant ever be free...none of us will ever be totally free of it. Its a cancer.. I sooo feel for you all who are going through this like us.


  • JamesThomas

    LovesDubs, Wow, what a rich post. I empathize with your feelings of leaving the Witnesses out of love for God. It never felt totally right, being in the Org, and my heart eventually, screaming in agony, led my out. JamesT

  • Dansk


    You are one hell of a spunky lady. Pity your husband doesn't have your balls!


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