It's so good to finally be nineteen years old. Graduated from high school, taken more seriously as an adult. I even have a job. With these things going for me, I've been frank with my friends and family- I'm planning to move out, hopefully in about a year.
except I'm the baby of the family, and my parents are freaking out. They think I should stay at home for a few more years, which I might consider except:
a. I hate this town
b. I'm in a long distance relationship that I no longer want to be long distance
and, c. My parents are active Jehovah's Witnesses, and I'm an active apostate.
Two years ago, when I was reproved, I didn't think I had a choice except to pretend like I was regaining spiritual health. I've restored my status in the congregation to the same it was at before. but I haven't believed in any of the watchtower doctrine in over three years.
I have the means to Move back to the state where I grew up. Two of my older brothers (that want nothing to do with the church) live there, as does my boyfriend of two years.
I don't know how to escape the crushing grasp that my parents have on my life. My biggest problem is that I genuinely love my Mom and Dad. They're good people. If they were mean and oppressive I might be able to bring myself to hate them and leave out of spite. But they treat me well. I don't want to hurt them, but I deserve my own life. Away from the church.
How do I overcome my fear of their disappointment and heartbreak so I can start my own life? Please help.