Thunder failed to say Melanie did not get pregnant while she was in school, she had graduated. Also, the Mother of the other baby is in the military and had to name anyone that could be a possible Father, she named three others.
I hate my Grandaughter's father!
He sounds like a bit of a scammer. They often don't mean harm. They just want what they want, and will do anything to get it, including saying anything, getting their noses brown all the way up. They have an amazing ability to learn of and use the desires, including the secret desires of their targets. They learn the weak points of their targets. These are the doorways that they use to get back in. They just keep working at those doorways until they are opened to them.
How to cope? Learn for yourself what are these desires and weak points in your wife and daughter. Maybe get a social worker involved? Your women may listen more to a social worker than to you. The sad thing is, if you take illegal actions against the scammer, you stand to loose everything.
Sorry Thunder and Sheila for what yall are going thru , I can't imagine the pain of watching your precious "little girl " hurting and knowing that this guy will probably do it again.
I guess really what can you do but be her Daddy and let her know as you have you are on her side, you have given this guy alot of chances, and he has blown them. I am sure she sees that you only wants what is best for her, but she still will do what she wants in the end.
Just be there for her , and keep telling her what you think, in the loving way I am sure you have.
Just because you are a grown woman,,,,,,,even thou she is still young and still your little girl,,,,,,she still needs her mom and dad.
She is a lucky girl , to have both of you love her so much, and to love her baby as you do. I have read so much you have written about your granddaughter. I sigh and wish my dad was the way you are Thunder, but he pushed me away when I turned 18 and never cared anything about my children,his grandchildren,,,,,,,,,,,,that man is missing out on a wonderful gift and I hope he sees that one day.
Keep being the person you are Thunder and Sheila too.
I'd ask him to sign over his rights legally. A child in a loveless, volatile relationship will only suffer. Your daughter has her parents support, she doesn't need a worthless asshole around her daughter. Eventually the kid will get a skewed since of how relationships go. She'll did dad running around on mom and think that's normal.
Or you could just kill him like you wanted to anyway.
Dear Melanie, please don't be a dumbass.
Dear Thunder, some things aren't really in your control. Please act accordingly.
Thunder, I'm aching with empathy for you. I don't envy your position, and I think you're reacting the way any good father would and should. I won't presume to offer you any advice about the specific situation you are in, I imagine that my husband would be just as upset as you are about the way your daughter has been, and has allowed herself to be, treated. Thinking about my own daughter (who's about 14 years away from dating!) the following things occurred to me:
1. Your daughter has a little girl to think about. It might be a useful idea (even if not immediately effective, it's good to plant the seed) to ask her to imagine her daughter 20 years from now in the same situation. Would she want her little girl to be involved with a man who has acted the way that he has, and treated her in the same manner? I'm sure the answer would be no. It might be enough to get her thinking about why the same situation that she would hate for her little girl to be in is acceptable for herself.
2. Regardless of how evil, cruel, despicable and snake-like her father is, I would try very hard not to disparage him openly in front of your grandbaby when she's old enough to understand your words and attitude. Genetically, she's half his, and I imagine that it would be hard for a child to separate your dislike of her father with the fact that-for better or for worse-he's her biological dad.
Everything in me wants to tell you to just run the bastard over in the street, but that's hardly an option. Your little girl needs your love and understanding, and her little girl needs to have her Grandpa around so that she grows up learning about how good, honest men treat the women in their lives.
Well I say you ought to get a rope, tie him down and geld the son of a bitch. Problem solved.
"I have a .45 and a shovel. I doubt anyone will miss you." -- father talking to her date, Clueless
I appreciate all your thoughts on this matter. It is relieving to hear opinions from every possible viewpoint. I intend to use the suggestions given and express some of the scenarios that you folks presented. I hope my efforts to protect her will be seen for what they are. I really hate that son of a bitch, but I love my daughter more.
See, this is why kids need a father AND a mother, and why I am in total awe of single parents who do it all. Fathers make sure their daughters are treated properly, and as for mothers -- well, if any girl breaks my Jackson's heart, I'll break her legs. As you can see, Thunder, Big Tex feels the same way you do. I hope that your daughter will do what is best for her and the baby (which I think means giving this jerk the boot), and I know it's agonizing for you to watch and do nothing.
My husband's sister got pregnant at 21 and has basically stuck with the jerk for 14 yrs now. She is still a single mother of a troubled 13 yr old girl, she has no job skills, no education, and all he spends his money on is marijuana. She is 35 now and about 4 yrs ago the Jerk was involved in a dealy accident at work that killed two people--and he tested positive for pot. He has just been served with papers suing him in this from the families involved. Where will they all be now? They have been sleeping on air mattresses on other people's floors for 3 yrs now. Big big mess. It did not have to happen. The relationship could have been ended before it began and the kid could have had a decent father and Sis could be a happy wife. Don't make two mistakes. Just because the baby is biologically the child of a jerk does not mean the child should be sentenced to never knowing a decent man to act as father. I wish my mother had left my bio father when she first planned it and I was only 5....our whole lives would have been different.