I have a bit of a dilema. Years ago a young man began to pursue a relationship with my daughter. I did everything I could to discourage it. I was rude, threatening and must have hung up on him a hundred times. I wanted the best for my daughter. She wanted to go to colledge and become a teacher. It was her dream from childhood all through high school. She asked if she could date him. I refused the first dozen requests. When they both persisted in asking, Sheila and I had the boy come to the house to meet us. I sat in my easy chair sharpening a sword as my daughter and her "friend" sat on the couch accross from us. I grilled him up one side and down the other. I asked him his feelings about pre-marital sex and what his intentions were towards my daughter. Every answer was preceeded and followed by "sir" or "mam". He seemed the "nicest guy in the world.
They began to date on Saturday afternoons first and after a while they were allowed to date in the evening with a 12:00 curfew. Things went fine for a while they had their share of fights and so forth. I figured when she went to college things would level out. My daughter moved out her senior year and became very rude and defensive to her mother and I. It wasn't too long after that we found out she was pregnant.
I was furious and wanted to hunt him down and kill him. It took time for me to adjust to the situation. I kept my anger to myself to spare my daughter any more stress. You see they were no longer together. Eventually they got back together and talked of marriage. They got an apartment and began to make a home for them and the coming child.
When she arrived the world seemed a more wonderous place to me and I immediately fell in love with her. I lost my feelings of anger towards her father and welcomed him into the family. He shared Thanksgiving and Christmas with us.Then we found out he has anothe rkid with another girl in another city. It wasn't long after that I found out that he had been seeing other girls behind my daughters back. She found photographs of him in rather disgusting situations with another girl. My daughter confronted h im and things went all to hell. She threw him out and was left alone to raise the baby. Sheila and I did all we could to comfort and supoort her. Watching your daughter suffer a broken heart is painfull.
Needless to say I wanted to kill the bastard again. It has been months now and my daughter has lost all her baby weight, she looks loke a model again, and the son of a bitch is sniffing around again. She says he is a good dad. I say good dads don't screw around on their baby's mothers. I want nothing to do with the jerk.
Everytime I voice my opinion of him I get crap from both my daughter and my wife. I want her to have the best, and not settle for the convenient. He's proven himself to be a loser and he needs to be treated like one. I have gone through too much crap in my life. I have no more capacity for forgiving this guy, and I don't feel I should be pressured to forgive him or to keep my opinions to myself. Sheila and I don't argue much but this is causing some serious friction.
I would appreciate your input.