by Yizuman 25 Replies latest jw friends
Actually, I think that personality is a gift of God and never changes. What changes is the way in which we express that changless personality. We can sluff off that "skin" of fake personality the JWs forced on us and become our true selves again if we wish. I feel I did, and I've known others too.
I think all of us can do it.
francois
He's probably still in here
He's there, Simon.
I know my "real me" is still there. I just have to get out of her way.
As I continue to question everything I was taught as a JW, I am gradually coming around to be the person I was meant to be. I still don't know exactly who I am and need to keep living life to figure things out. I know after I left the borg, it was odd for me to say "yes" to life....after years of turning down invitations. That's my advice....say "yes!!!" to life and experience as much as you can.
"Opportunity only dances with those on the dance floor."
Readers Digest Quote
Don't worry Simon, I hear ya.. The real me is quite the complicated fellow .. I never really "fit" into any group .. Sometimes I feel like I belong in another time and place like merry ol' England when men wore those suits and hats or even the Medievel times when chivalry was not dead and when honor meant something.. The measure of a man is not who has the biggest house or fanciest car or when "times are good" but the measure is during times of challenges and discoveries..To stand for who YOU ARE and not what other people want you to be. To not only know your strengths but also your weaknesses..
"The harder the battle, the sweeter the victory"- Bob Marley
Chris
Sometimes I feel like I belong in another time and place like merry ol' England when men wore those suits and hats or even the Medievel times when chivalry was not dead and when honor meant something
So go join the SCA (Society for Creative Anachronism)! There's lots of people there who think like you do...trust me
Lady Asleif Dufansdottir ~ Order of the Leather Mallet, Order of the Golden Calon Swan, Order of the Torse, former Arts & Sciences Champion and Seneschal of the Barony of Lonely Tower, Calontir (all, of course, after I got out of the Borg)
I became a JW as an adult, so I always knew who I was...I just became myself again (albeit wiser) after I left.
I've lived two lives, one in the borg and one out. I married a JW at 21 and had many good years but got divorced under circumstances I still don't understand, no children involved. I married a worldly woman, left the JWs and have two step children and one paternal daughter. Had a great life in both circumstances but like the later life much better. I am just beginning to develop a spiritual awareness and don't really know where it will go. Who can say what I would be without the JW years? Better or worse, I don't know. All I can say is I appreciate all the years I have been here and hope for a few more. Whatever it takes enjoy the years you have left, they go by too damn fast.
Ken P.
Simon,
I think I lost the "real me" when I was a little lad many years ago. He's probably still in here, buried deep down but I'll never be the person I should have been or be able to replace what was lost.
This will sound really corny, but my heart was so saddened by what you wrote. It made me realize that you have had your share of tribulations as well. I hope you will be able to find him within yourself. At this point I want to write something about how you will find him, or how good the journey to finding him will be, but words fail me at the moment.
I hope my awkward words convey some of what I am trying to say. Basically, I want to scream, "You can find him!" and to tell you that I worry that you won't.
Yizuman,
I am so glad to see that someone has had the same thought. I thought I was the only one who noticed that.
...For those who left the borg, has anyone stopped and think, "Who am I really supposed to be apart from the borg?"
...Do you feel like your whole self and identity has been stripped from you?
At one point in my life, I noticed that my identity was tied up with my being a JW and with the company I worked for. I had ceased to talk in terms of "me" and in terms of "us". I spent over the next decade reversing that. I noticed that the JWs tended to make me lose my identity, the uniqueness who is "me".
I fought it, sometimes with a lot of diligence and the assistance of self-help books....even as a JW I knew that the Society discouraged self-help books out of selfish motives...
Who I am is far from perfect and is not the most exciting person in the world. But that person is me, and for the most part I am happy with who I am. Interestingly, it is part of me to not be completely satisfied with who I am. I like to think that part of me helps me to continually improve myself, so that I can accomplish more and be a better person for others.
I am re-finding who I was, and am pretty much restored to the same person. I could use more of the fire, the passion, the insatisible curiousity for life, and belief in humanity that I had as a child, but I am finding that again. Part of that difference is the caution that maturing into an adult puts into a person. Part of that is having to deal with insane situations for too long, but fortunately those situations are gone for the most part.
I really enjoyed this thread, Yizuman.
Richard
I was also saddened to read your statement, Simon, especially since et echoes my own sentiments...
We’re right in the process of fading away, and it is a tough journey ahead.
Having been a lurker on this site for months have helped me tremendesly,
also realizing the struggles others are going through.
I have had many good times as a witness, had a good childhood,
nice parents who allowed me to make own choices
(the ones I regret now was mostly due to cong. indoctrination)
have met many nice friends in various countries, but
being honest to oneself outweighs these things.
Realizing that the WTBS is not as it was thought to be
(failed prophesy, dubious past, false quotations, the UN issue,
the pedophile issue, the shunning policy, gradually complex
and inconsistent blood doctrine etc,)
has made me setting out on a journey less predictable,
but still, more true.
The fruits are not entirely good anymore,
it does not help if two or three are palatable.
I lost a lot to the borg...
but my identity was only squashed flat, folded and put away. I took it out, shook the dust off and was me again in a fairly short time.
I lost several years of good times with so many excellent people... including my friend Lynne who died way too soon after I came to my senses... :(
~Witch
I think I lost the "real me" when I was a little lad many years ago. He's probably still in here, buried deep down but I'll never be the person I should have been or be able to replace what was lost.
Simon I totally understand what you said. I think what you said was awsome.I feel the same way myself. I often wonder what I would have been like if I weren't raised as a jw, and I morn because I liked myself better when I wasn't totally controled by them. I try to work everyday to get back to what I was because I realize it was so much better. I
zucker
