For those of you who read my other thread about me wanting to go to a certain funeral service at the KH, well I didn't make it cause my son needed me that weekend.
For those of you who knew about the sister that I found out that passed away and was contimplating going to her grave, well, I did that today...........................Let me tell you why I am so hurt, and have always been in love with this woman...................
This was a "sister" in the KH who LOVED kids. She was the older woman who always sat in the 3rd row on the right side of the KH. You could almost see that seat say "reserved" for Oretha Roden. That was HER seat!!!!!!!
She was like Halloween to us kids EVERY meeting. She always had candy for us, no matter how bad or good the kids who would come to say hi to her. She loved us all.
I can tell you this, she is one, if not the ONLY person in my WHOLE life I can say that I have nothing but GOOD memories about. I have NO bad memories about her!!! She was a kind, loving, giving, nonjudgemental, etc person I have EVER known.
I wasn't told of her passing cause she was a JW, and the only people who knew she passed, that knew me were JW's.
So, I found out through Big Tex and Cruzanheart, that she died. They told me where she was buried. I didn't know what yr she passed away, but I knew it was at least 5-6yrs ago.
She was like the grandmother I NEVER had.
Today, I was passing by where she was buried. So, I turned into the cemetary. I went to the info office and asked where her lot was.
I was given a map and went looking for her.
I couldn't find her.
In looking for her, I felt alot of feelings, anticipation, excitement, apprehension, sadness, hurt, confused, happy, and others I can't explain.
I walked around for over an hour, and couldn't find her head stone.
I went back to the office and told them I couldn't find her. She had been buried in 1996!!!!!!!! I had NO IDEA it had been THAT LONG!!!!!!!! I had only found out about her passing 3-4 weeks ago.
So, the woman in the office, got a picture of the plot, and come to find out she was buried right next to her husband, who had died when I was 2yrs old, I never knew him. She was also buried right next to her daughter who had only lived 4days, and died. I never knew she had a daughter!!!!!!
So, after all these emotions were running through me, I finally had reality SLAP me in the face!!!
Her name on a head stone was staring me in the face..........the woman from the office said something.......I don't remember what she said, all I said was "thank you"................
I sat down, and drew a blank...............I didn't know what to say.
I started talking out loud.
As soon as I explained I was there to say "good-bye" since I wasn't given the chance..........I started crying.
I put down some candy on her head stone, explaining I was giving some of the candy she had always given us, back. I also put a small plastic bracelet, and a dinosaur toy.
All of my memories of her were from childhood, and I just wanted to give her something I thought would give her joy, and make her smile.
I don't know why, but I said........"I don't know if I believe in an after life, but if you can here me, I am glad you are with your husband and your daughter again. If you are really sleeping, I am glad you are in peace now. I wish I had the chance to say goodbye to you in person, and I hope you aren't mad that I am here since I am df'd, but I had to tell you that you are still in my heart and I love you. I wish you could have met my son, he would have loved you sooooooo much!!! You would have been a much better grandmother to my son than the one he has now, not my mother, but the other one. I guess what I am trying to say, is I love you and I always have, you never judged me, and I love you for that, just know that I know that. Well, I will visit you from time to time, and ..........well, good-bye.........."
She was born in 1920 and died 1996.
1996!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am soooooooooooooo sad that I couldn't tell her good-bye in person, I used to drive by her house just hoping I would see her outside!!!!!!!!!
I still don't know what she died of, but I am thinking it was old age. She meant so much to so many kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oretha Roden, you will be in my heart FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!