I need opinions from parents. First, let me share my situation. I am 24 years old and my husband is 33. We have been married two years and are thinking about having kids. We are both in college right now, though we are taking a year's hiatus because we are moving out of state. It takes a year to become a resident of Florida, and if we chose to go to school before we are residents the costs would be too high, so we are waiting. Jon, my husband will be finished with school in 2-3 years. I will be done in another 3-7 depending on whether I decide to get my Master's. He is a Computer Technician and owns a small computer repair business and I am a waitress. Our combined income is around $45,000 per year.
So here's the dilemma:
I want kids now. He wants them after we finish school. What should we do?
1. We are taking a year off, so that will give me time to a have a smoother, less stressful pregnancy. I will be working, but I won't have the combined burden of work + school.
2. Jon isn't getting any younger. If I wait until after I get my bachelor's he'll be 36 (I'll be 27), if we wait until after I get my Master's he'll be 40 (I'll be 34). And that's with our first child. I want at least two. My dad was forty when they had my brother and he's far less active with him than he was with me and my older brother.
3. My current job is very flexible. If I wait until I graduate and I'm starting my career, I won't have the flexibility.
4. With my current job I will be able to work opposite Jon's schedule which will leave one of us free to be with the baby at all times, so they'll be no need to pay a babysitter.
5. If we have the child now, it'll be in preschool by the time we finish school, so they'll be less need for a babysitter.
6. Jobs are VERY competitive for Black women and being off from work even for only 6 weeks will set me behind my colleagues for promotions.
1. Waiting until we are finished with school and have decent jobs will ensure a secure future. I might have a hard pregnancy, or might not be able to handle the pressures of motherhood and drop out of school.
2. While having a degree doesn't guarantee a job, it is far more likely that we will have decent jobs and will be able to financially care for our child better. Jon grew up poor and will not have his children in the same boat.
3. Going to school, working, and having a career will be too overwhelming for us and could harm the marriage and/or child.
4. Waitressing will be hard to do while pregnant.
So that's basically it. I'd like to hear from all parents, but those that went to school who had kids at the same time would especially be appreciated.