A poem, remembering child abuse

by LyinEyes 23 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

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  LyinEyes

  
  Sorry I just changed my mind about keeping this up.
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  SheilaM

  Lyin:

  That gave me shivers you need to never stifle yourself. I love your poem.

  What your Dad did is horrible, I have been stifled in my writting and felt that if I vented I might just explode but it is a catharsis. Thank you so much for sharing with everyone.

  Also you are and were a cutie!
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  sandy

  That was a very nice poem. I appreciate you sharing it with us. I was a victim of child abuse as well. It took a long time for me to finally come out and tell my mother. Telling was the best thing I ever did. If I could I would have told her when I was still a child. But I cannot change the past.

  I wish people could understand the deep emotional scars that are left after one has been victimized. If they only knew how hard it is for them to rise above their hurt, anger, fear, guilt and shame.

  When someone abuses a child they shatter their heart/soul. It makes me think of somebody trying to put a thousand pieces of shattered glass back together. It looks and seems impossible, hopeless. You do not even want to attempt repairing it.

  Fortunately though, it is not hopeless for us victims of abuse. With help you can repair the damage the abuser has done to you. It isn't hopeless. For many though, like myself, it takes a long time to figure this out.

  I am happy that you have found peace with yourself and have learned to love yourself.

  I must say again your poem was beautiful.

  Thanks,

  Sandy
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  DJ

  Dede,

  I had no idea that you were a silentlamb. I'm so sorry for that. I knew about your mom's suicide and I just pray that was not the cause. How terrible. I am the angriest that I have been in a very long time. So sorry. You can vent anytime. That little girl knows that she is and was innocent, and that she can and will heal more each day. Was anyone told about your dad's abuse? I wish that I could give you a hug and tell you thanks for sharing this with us. I have a much clearer understanding of some of your posts now. I wish you much love. (((((((((((((((((Dede))))))))))))))) love, dj
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  Lady Lee

  That was so well said. I can relate to all of it. A few years ago I did a visualization and realized that instead of one little child inside of me there was a room full of neglected, abused and hurting kids. And in spite of their neediness they were strong. They had to be to survive. We all have this part inside - whether one or many. And we need to stop being afraid of them. Accepting that part of ourselves as the wonderous strong child we were can help us to move on. It wasn't the child that had a defect that made us feel unlovable. It was the parent(s) who didn't have a clue how to care for this child they created.

  Listen to the child inside. She is your strength
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  LyinEyes

  Thanks for the kind words all.
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  DJ

  Dede,

  Oops. I think I made a false assumption that you were sexually molested as a child. I apologize if I did. Physical abuse is terrible as well, I took all of my lumps too. My dad was raised that way and he just didn't know anything else but he also showed us love. I am not sure of exactly what you are saying here and again I apologize if I was in error. love, dj
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  LyinEyes
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  Lady Lee

  According to the silentlambs website physical abuse is included in the category of silentlambs.

  I think it is difficult for people to identify themselves as a victim of anything. It is so easy to compare my story with another person's story and say mine was less difficult than another or more so. At what point do we define abuse as hurtful?

  In a study I did a few years ago on physical punishments experienced by college students when they were children one woman said she had only been hit once in her life - a slap across the face. To her that was the most damaging, shameful, hurtful experience from her parents and she defined it as abuse. Others were responding that they had been hit with sticks and beaten with belts, They had bruises and broken bones but they did not think they were abused.

  At what point is it abuse? A lifetime of abuse will create desensitization to the abuse. It becomes normal. But it isn't any less abusive. A parent can never lay a hand on a child but still abuse them through a rage of words hurled as insults. Even in regards to sexual abuse physical contact is not required for it to be abusive. Forcing a child to watch or perform without ever touching the child is still abuse.

  I think the issue really comes down to the adult getting any of their needs met at the expense of the child - whether that is a need to release their pent up anger or inapproriate sexual needs or even their emotional needs in making the child the confidante of the adult. It boils down to a disregard for the age and development of the child and an ignoring of healthy boundaries between adult and child.

  Dede sounds like you qualify to me ((((Dede))))
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  DJ

  For your sake Dede, I hope that nothing happened but if it did, then I wish you all the love to heal.

  Lady,

  I was beaten as a child a lot. There were 5 kids and my dad is Italian and that is just the way it is. He was also verbally abusive to us but I have forgiven him. I have one brother who never forgave him until he was diagnosed with brain cancer, Now he visits him and helps my dad with everything. I think that all families are different in their ability to get past certain things. My dad was downright nasty maybe 80% of the time but the other 20% he was very loving. It is the 20% that I thrived on. He has a charisma about him and I wouldn't trade him for the world. He is human and he has made mistakes. I suppose the majority of abusers don't offer even the 20% love. I guess I am fortunate. I just knew that he had a bad temper. I still loved him and felt loved by him. That must be the key......I felt loved by him.........! Dede, you didn't did you? ((((((Dede)))))